


Meant to Be

by Forevermore_Fiction



Category: IT (Movies - Muschietti), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Bowers Gang - Freeform, F/M, Movie: IT (2017)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-10
Updated: 2020-06-23
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:09:18
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 57,238
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23098369
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Forevermore_Fiction/pseuds/Forevermore_Fiction
Summary: Patrick’s taken a liking to you, and he’ll do whatever it takes to get you— even if it means going through your boyfriend.(THIS IS GOING TO BE A VERY DARK FANFICTION, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED)
Relationships: Patrick Hockstetter/Reader, Reginald "Belch" Huggins/Reader
Comments: 34
Kudos: 151





	1. Patience

**Author's Note:**

> Author’s Note: This is a very dark fanfic, this chapter is probably going to be the most tame.
> 
> Warnings: underage drug and alcohol use, psychopathy

[Meant to Be playlist on Spotify](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/5S3opaCkLUErDK1uHXvkRw?si=ON5DX7F4SumkctVLso62Kg)

Patrick Hockstetter wasn’t your average teenage boy. Not by a long shot.

It wasn’t just the greasy way he kept himself, or the well-known fact that he kept dead flies in a pencil case. Those were just odd little tid-bits that made up one whole, disturbing boy. People often missed the strange way he would stare at them, as if he were staring into their very soul and reading them inside and out. Which he was. They missed the way he would creep to the junkyard in the middle of the night to see how his ‘experiments’ were holding up. They missed the way he obsessed over you.

If only they hadn’t missed the way he obsessed over you…

It started out innocently enough, just the average staring, the reading into your soul. But as days turned into weeks, weeks into years, as he got to know you and watch you on an almost daily basis, he realized that you were made to be his, that he was completely in love with you, as much as someone like Patrick could be in love with someone.

He knew it wouldn’t be easy to make you understand, let alone accept the fact that you, by nature, belonged to him. He knew it wouldn’t be so easy to just make you his. You were Belch Huggins’ girl, after all.

Everyone knew you and Belch were head over heels for each other. The two of you were childhood sweethearts, you had known each other your entire lives, and you had been dating since the fourth grade. Separating the two of you seemed impossible, and no one had really made the attempt to go against Huggins, given the boy’s massive stature.

Your love for each other was never ending, you always said. God, Patrick hated hearing you say that. It made his heart start hammering in his chest, and it made him want to act too soon.

He couldn’t act too soon…

For six years, Patrick had watched you and Belch Huggins kiss, and touch, and _fuck_ … it made his blood boil to watch the one thing he wanted-- no, the one thing he _knew_ was made for him! You were _made_ for him, and watching that giant idiot fuck you and call you his made Patrick want to… well, it made him want to do something very bad.

He knew that you didn’t genuinely love Belch. He saw the little looks you would give to other boys when you thought no one was looking… he saw the way you would blush when other boys talked to you. Maybe you didn’t even know it, but as puberty started really taking affect for you, you were a little boy-crazy… Patrick couldn’t wait for you to be crazy about _him_.

He knew that he needed to be patient. But it was getting incredibly difficult. Everything was in place, he had everything perfectly in place, but the timing was off. He needed the set up, the perfect moment. It was close, so close that he could taste it, but he needed to wait. Just a little longer.

“ _Hello_?”

Your curious little voice brought him out of his deep thoughts, and he opened his eyes.

“Oh thank God, I didn’t wanna have to wake you up this time,” he heard Belch’s deep voice scoff, and as Patrick’s eyes fell on you, he quickly took note of the protective way the boy held your waist, and the way you held his arm lovingly. It made Patrick feel sick with anger, but he smiled lightly at you.

“I wasn’t sleeping,” he explained calmly, sitting up on his elbows. “Just thinking.”

Patrick recognized the song on the radio as his mind came back into the moment, and he gently hummed to Whole Lotta Love by Led Zepplin as you let go of Belch’s arm and turned to face him more, looking away from the sunset you and the boys had been watching.

Belch hated when you got _so_ interested in what Patrick had to say. He had even brought up his jealousy a few times, but you insisted Patrick was always the odd one out, and that he deserved a little attention too, even if he was weird.

But Belch didn’t understand why you were ruining this moment with him. Watching the sunset, listening to one of the songs he associated with his relationship with you, holding each other, what could be sweeter? But _no_ , you had to care just a _little_ too much about Patrick Hockstetter.

To you, it was different. You had always thought Patrick was very attractive, just looking at him now made you blush slightly, although not quite enough to be noticeable behind the red on your nose and cheeks from the chill of the late October air. You smiled, though, looking at his chin length black hair, always wavy and shining, hanging just slightly to cast the perfect amount of shade into his beautiful blue-green eyes. His pale skin against his dark shirt, and his muscular, veiny arms….

You quickly looked away from him and looked instead at your much larger boyfriend. He wasn’t exactly fat, he was very muscular. He was sweet, and handsome…. Although he still had a bit of a baby face right now… you knew if you just waited a year or two his jawline would become sharper, like Patrick’s, and his tall frame would become thick with muscle instead of the chub he had now…

You felt awful thinking like that. Reg meant everything to you, he was so handsome and God, you thought, was he _sexy_. You loved the way his bright greenish blue eyes looked at you as he smiled, his dimples popping in. That made you smile, and you took his hand before looking back at Patrick.

“What were you thinking about, Pat?” you asked quickly.

“Do you _really_ wanna ask him that?” Henry spoke up warily, but a smirk pulled at his lips even before hearing what the twisted boy might have to say.

“Yeah, Y/N, why would you even _want_ to know what Patrick’s thinking?” Vic agreed with a hint of teasing in his voice. You shrugged innocently and smiled.

“No one ever asks, I thought it’d be nice to give him the chance to talk,” you defended yourself happily. “Was it a _girl_ , Patrick?”

“A girl?” Patrick laughed. “How’d you know?”

“ _Ooh_!” you squealed. Belch grunted, trying to get you back next to him. “Tell us about her, Patrick, is it someone at school?”

“No. She lives in the next town over. I met her at a party,” he lied. You smiled at him excitedly, and he stared into your eyes, hoping that he could send his thoughts to you so that you could hear him, and only you could hear him say: I love _you_ , Y/N, you’re my soulmate…

“What’s her name?” you pressed.

“ _No_ no no, you don’t get that so easy,” he chuckled. He sighed and smiled at you. “She’s absolutely perfect in every way. She’s beautiful, smart, sexy… god her body’s amazing…”

“She good in bed?” Henry wondered, falling back into his elbow and looking back at Patrick curiously. The way he had asked made you blush, and you looked at him. His short, dirty blond mullet stopped at his mid-neck, and his bright blue eyes glanced over at you when he felt your gaze on him. He impulsively flexed his arms, his muscle shirt showing off his muscles and veins nicely, and making you feel the need to quickly look away. “I bet she’s _great_ in bed too, huh, bud…?” Patrick smiled slightly, glancing at you.

“Wouldn’t know. I don’t even think she knows I exist,” he sighed dramatically. Belch scoffed.

“Yeah, right, like _you’re_ sweet on a girl,” he said skeptically. “You’re such a freak, you only like girls for ass, snatch, and tits--”

“ _Reg_!” you laughed, shoving him a bit. Your boyfriend grinned and brought his lips to your neck, kissing and nipping at your skin gently and pulling you back against him.

Patrick forced himself to keep smiling, running one hand through his hair as he watched you giggle and wrap your arms around your _boyfriend_. It made him grit his teeth slightly but he still kept that convincing smirk on his face.

“I know, I know, Belchy, it’s hard to believe I could ever have what you two have,” he grinned, showing his crooked, cigarette-yellowed teeth. “But I _know_ I got a future with this girl…”

“How’d you know this girl doesn’t have a boyfriend? Or common sense?” Vic snickered the last part and Henry laughed quickly before sitting up against a tree and crossing his attractive-- muscular arms. Feeling that your eyes were accidentally on Henry again, you looked at Victor as he spoke. He was the youngest out of all of you, his scrawny, boyish frame looking even smaller with his baggy tee-shirt and too-big army pants. His sharp jaw, and bleached blond hair, the sides shaved and the top left swept across his head, and his soft brown eyes made him the go-to for most girls, and he was known as an amazing kisser… sometimes you wondered...

“That’s the issue, actually. She _does_ have a boyfriend,” Patrick sighed, looking down at the sunset again. You quickly snapped your attention back to him and gulped. “That’s the only reason I ain’t made a move.”

“ _Psh_ , like that’s stopping you,” Henry scoffed with a mischievous smile. Patrick glanced at him, wondering why Henry and Vic and Belch had to ruin this moment with you with their idiot presences. “When’re you gonna make your move, Patrick?”

“Don’t know yet. Soon. Maybe if she’s at the Halloween party,” he shrugged happily, standing up. “I don’t even know if I’m goin’a that stupid thing, I might just hang around at home…”

“Oh, Patrick, you have to go after her!” you argued, smiling. He looked down at you hopefully. Did you know? Did you understand his love for you? Did you return that love, and did you want him to finally make his move tonight?  
  


“Really? Even though she has a boyfriend, Y/N?” Belch questioned in confusion. “She’d be cheatin’....”

“Well… even if you don’t fuck, at least get her a drink, get her to notice you, learn what you can about her…” you explained. It made Patrick’s heart sink for a moment until you continued. “But… but maybe her and her boyfriend aren’t meant to be. Maybe you two _are_ supposed to meet tonight…”

Patrick couldn’t have helped his smile if he tried. He found that you were the only person that could genuinely make him smile. God, you were perfect, an angel sent from heaven, soon to be his… he couldn’t wait much longer…

“You’re right, Y/N… I’ll talk to her….” he told you with a gentle smile. Belch rolled his eyes.

“Yeah right, you’re gonna rape her, prob’ly,” he argued with a laugh. “Fuckin’ freak.”

“Fatass,” Patrick shotback shortly. Belch turned red, and opened his mouth to argue back.

“Shut up, Belch,” Henry ordered, standing up. Belch quickly shut his mouth and stood up, pulling you up with him swiftly. You giggled and hung off his arm. Victor groaned but stood up like the rest of his friends.

“Can you just drop me off at home, Belchy-boy? I needa get ready for the party,” Patrick said, almost sounding happy. “I’ll drive my Dad’s car there, he won’t know.” You smiled at him, then looked over at Belch and took his hand, kissing his cheek.

Now Patrick had to wonder… were you teasing him? Or were you being forced to stay with the fat idiot against your will? He felt like it was a mix of both, and you were just waiting for Patrick to free you from the prison you must have felt like you were in. And he would save you. He would keep you safe, and happy, and he would give you all the love and affection and attention that you wanted. Not like that abusive idiot…

Belch grabbed his radio, and the five of you started walking back to Belch’s Trans-Am, with Victor and Henry leading the pack. Patrick could just feel you and Belch behind him, probably making out with each other. Belch never kept his hands off you, he loved grabbing at your ass and your waist and your breasts whenever he got the chance.

He hated thinking about it about as much as he hated having to see it. He hated, even more, how Belch acted so possessive of you even though he willingly told all the boys about every girl he cheated with.

Oh yes, Patrick thought, grinning. Sweet-boy Belch was a big fat cheater. Drunk girls were his weakness, and the more he got away with it, the more he did it. That made him even more angry. Not that he was cheating, but that he did it while keeping you on lockdown.

As soon as the group got back to the car he had to tune out the flirtation between the two of you all the way to his house.

You sat in the front seat, much to Henry’s annoyance, so that Belch could keep his hands on you. There wasn’t a moment when his hand wasn’t on you, either playing with your hair, or rubbing your neck. He glanced over at you every so often and smiled to himself. You would give him little looks back, and held his hands when they weren’t on you.

You were a bit more conservative than Belch, just to save yourself the embarrassment of having his friends see.

Patrick was thankful for that. But to him, it looked so different. It made him feel like you didn’t want the big oaf to touch you, like you couldn’t get free of his touch...

“Well, friends,” Patrick said with a sigh as he climbed out of the car. You gave him your attention for a moment, but all he could focus on was Belch’s hand on your knee. “I’ll see you at the party tonight. Thanks for the ride, man.”

Belch fist bumped him quickly and nodded. “No problem, dude, we’ll catch you later,” he agreed happily. Belch and Patrick had never connected the way Henry and Patrick had. Patrick was Henry’s right hand man, much to Belch’s jealousy. But Belch thought of Patrick as a friend regardless, and he was always happy to see friends.

“Catch you later,” Patrick repeated, waving at you, happy when you waved back.

He heard the Trans-Am roar away as he walked into his house, hurrying down to his room to get ready. He had to look great tonight, he had to catch your eye, and he would get you alone…

A dark pair of jeans with a worn white v-neck tee tucked in, his Doc Marten’s and a leather jacket made up his outfit. As he stared at himself in the mirror he ran his fingers through his hair until it looked less greasy and more bouncy, and he smiled a little. You were going to fall for him tonight, he knew it. Tonight was the night when everything changed, and the two of you started your life together.

He dabbed some cologne on himself and gave himself one more look before hurrying into his room to get what he needed.

Tonight was going to be perfect.

**\---**

“Get me another drink, Reggie!”

Your friends cheered around you and you felt Belch grab your arm to keep you from falling over. God, he thought, you looked so cute with your Derry High Cheering sweater and your plaited little mini-skirt. You turned to look at him, your face red and a big goofy grin on your face.

“I think you need a break,” he chuckled, already fairly drunk himself. “Cutie.”

“I think I need another drink,” you argued with a little laugh. “Reggie _pleeeeeease_?”

“Alright alright, you want punch?” he guessed, wrapping his arms around you and kissing at your neck. “Then meet me upstairs?”

You giggled but rolled your eyes. “Reggie I wanna dance more!” you whined, leaning back into him and lifting up your costume miniskirt in the back so that you could rub your ass against him. He couldn’t help but grab at your skin and grit his teeth when you did that to him, how couldn’t he when you made half the blood in his body rush into his dick so quickly that it made his head spin.

  
It made Patrick’s head spin too as he watched the two of you from the kitchen, then watched the two of you make out in the middle of the dancefloor. He got to work making you a special drink, and ladeled one last spoonful of punch into the cup as Belch stumbled into the kitchen.

“Gimme that,” he ordered, grabbing the punch from Patrick. “Y/N needs another drink.”

“I see that,” Patrick chuckled, looking out at you as you drunkenly danced around with your girl friends. He couldn’t wait to make you his tonight. “Hope she enjoys that punch.”

“Thanks,” Belch said happily, so so obliviously. He even took a small sip of the punch and winced. “Ugh, this shit’s disgusting, how the fuck’s she drink this shit?”

“You wanna beer, buddy?” Patrick offered, reaching into the cooler behind him and pulling out an ice cold beer for Belch, who smiled gratefully and took the bottle.

“Thanks, bud,” he told him, setting the cup down to pop open the top of the beer, and taking a sip.

“No problem. Seen Celine Pertel around? God, her tits in that costume...” Patrick sighed, looking out to the dance floor to look at the girl. Belch followed his gaze and adjusted his hat.

“Now if only nurses looked like that in real life, I’d always be goin’a the doctors,” he chuckled, his face heating up a bit. Patrick smirked as Celine caught Belch’s eye and she gave him a cute little wave with a soft bite of her lower lip. Belch really blushed now, and he waved back.

“Dude, she so wants to _swallow_ your cock,” Patrick groaned. Belch looked at him in shock once Celine looked away to giggle with her friends. “Oh come on, don’t act like you don’t know--”

“Course I know, she’s uh… we got together earlier this summer, ‘member?” he mumbled, glancing around to make sure no one was listening. “‘member I told you guys I jizzed so much in her mouth, it was coming out all over my dick…” Just remembering the event from earlier that summer made him even harder in his pants than he had been for you.

“ _Ooooh,_ that was _her_ ,” Patrick gasped, as if he didn’t know it had been Celine. Belch glared at him slightly. “I never know with you, bud, one minute you’re lovey dovey with Y/N, the next you’re all heart-eyed for Celine. And let’s not forget about Beth, or Joyce, or Madison, or--”

“Yeah, I don’t,” he snapped, looking around again. “Shut up, dude, Y/N better never find out about the parties, dude, when she ain’t there…”

“Don’t worry, bud, your secrets are safe with me,” he lied, smiling softly at his ‘friend’.

Belch sighed. “Yo, you think you could keep Y/N distracted for a while? I wanna talk to Celine,” he asked hopefully. Patrick raised an eyebrow. He was always surprised at how adamant Belch was about keeping you, even though he had plenty of other girls he fucked around with behind your back.

In any other town, the Bowers Gang would have been too gross and ornery to fuck. But In Derry, where the population just barely touched 1000, the hot teenage boys were scarce, and lucky for Henry Bowers and his gang of boys, the girls at school liked to get drunk enough at parties where they could tolerate fucking them.

“Sure thing, dude,” Patrick agreed.

Belch sighed with relief and looked back out at Celine. “Hey come out and hang with us, Henry’s even out there,” he offered happily, picking up your cup of special punch again.

Patrick glanced out at the dance floor and saw that Henry had his tongue practically down a drunk looking, rather limp, Greta Bowie’s throat, a hand groping her breast and his hips rutting excitedly against her. Vic was in a similar position out on the porch, his hand in some stoner-girl’s hair while their tongues desperately lapped at each other. It made Patrick’s heart hurt, thinking that you would go to Belch first to satisfy your need for a kiss. But soon things would be right, and you would come to him when you needed love…

“Alright,” he agreed simply, following Belch out to the living room.

You jumped up into Belch’s arms when he came back, then grabbed the punch from him and started draining the cup in big gulps. Patrick watched this happily, and took the empty cup when you held it out for him.

“Thanks for the drink, baby!” you thanked your oversized boyfriend. He glanced at Patrick with a thankful smile, and kissed you.

“Anything for my little princess,” he teased you, knowing that you loved all the nicknames he gave you.

Patrick watched the two of you kiss again, and he almost _almost_ said something, but he stopped himself when he felt someone bump into his side and heard drunken laughter from next to him.

“ _Hey_ , dude,” Henry slurred. Patrick glanced at the even drunker Greta Bowie on Henry’s arm and smirked a bit. “Guh- uuuuuh _Greta_ wants to play spin the bottle—” He hiccuped and groaned. “Uh, seven minutes in heaven, shit, ‘re you in?”

“Oooh I wanna play!!” you spoke up, pulling away from Belch to start following Henry and Greta as they stumbled towards the other side of the living room again.

Belch followed quickly, loving the way you got so excited at parties. You were absolutely everything to him, and without you his life would have been a lot darker and a lot lonelier. In a different world, without you in it, he would never get a girlfriend, would never get married, would never have a family. He was lucky to live in this world, where he had you, and all of those things were in his future.

For now.

Patrick stayed behind everyone, standing next to you in the circle of drunk teenagers. He was a bit buzzed on some weed he had smoked with Vic earlier, and he thought he might need to smoke a bit more to calm his nerves before he made his move on you. He had never felt like this before, _nervous_ , if you could call it that. He thought of it more as excitement, anticipation. He supposed he was a bit apprehensive that something might go wrong, that everything would fall apart and he would never get the chance to have you again.

But if he thought like that he would wait too long and miss his chance. Or even worse, he would jump the gun and act too soon. And god, he couldn’t act too soon.

“Alright, who wants to spin first?!” Greta asked, her nasally voice sending annoyed shock waves through all the boys, except for Henry apparently, as he laughed and wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

“Belch, you first, I want the bottle to land on someone other than Y/N,” he grinned wickedly. Belch just rolled his eyes as everyone but you laughed. He grabbed the bottle from the middle of the table and gave it a hefty spin, and everyone cheered as it spun and spun and spun until finally it stopped…

On Celine Pertel.

Now it wasn’t that Celine had actually done anything to you. But her tanned skin, her long black hair, crimped to perfection, her beautiful dark hazel eyes alluring as she looked at your boyfriend, not mention her _boobs_ being the size of watermelons. And you had _heard_ from a lot of people that she had tried to get in Belch’s pants on more than one occasion. But you weren’t willing to lose your Reggie to some slut...

“Reg,” you said quietly, squeezing his arm. He sighed and hesitated.

“Don’t worry, babe, it’s just a game,” he assured you with a chuckle. Although his drunk ass kept _looking at the other girl_. Then he looked at Patrick, who without you seeing nodded. Belch looked down at you again. “I’ll be out in seven minutes, promise. I’ll just be standin’ near the door, okay?” You stared up and him worriedly, but nodded and kissed him. You had to trust him. You had to, he was your Reggie. He kissed back quickly and you let go of him and watched him walk after Celine into the downstairs bedroom, which you assumed belonged to the host’s parents.

“She’s _amazing_ at sucking’ dick,” Patrick spoke up. You looked up at him in horror and he shrugged. “That’s just what I’ve heard.”

“She’d better keep her mouth away from Reg,” you scoffed, crossing your arms and turning to go sit on the couch. Patrick sighed and moved to follow you, ignoring Henry’s lazy attempt to get the two of you back before two new teens joined the table instead to make six again and he was happy.

Patrick sat down next to you and looked at your anxious face. He took a moment to just look at your beautiful body and soul, and he bit his lip as you covered your face for a moment. 

You couldn’t help but think that maybe, just maybe, Reg had had just a little too much to drink tonight, and maybe he wasn’t really just standing by the door. Maybe he was getting head from that little—

“Y/N did you hear me?” Patrick asked, nudging you. You looked up, realizing that his face looked like it was glowing like the moon. You blinked and stared at him, your mouth open in shock. “Holy shit, your pupils, sweetheart. You’re high as fuck, ain’tchu pumpkin?”

He threw in the sweet nicknames as a plus, and leaned back against the couch, pushing you back with him. He watched you almost cuddle into him as you fell against him, and he smiled. “I feel… no I mean I didn’t take anything, I shouldn’t….” you tried nervously. Then you looked up at him. “I’m high?”

“Sure as hell looks like it,” he grinned. “Jealous, I’d kill for somethin’ other than pot right now. What, you think someone spiked your drink?”

“Oooh,” you gasped, gripping his chest. “I didn’t even think of that, _shit_!” You looked very concerned now and you whined nervously. “W-What do I do?!”

“Just ride it out,” he encouraged. You still looked nervous but you stared at him silently. “What, princess, don’t look so scared. Have fun, baby girl.”

“Reggie’s gonna be so pissed,” you said quietly. Still looking frantic. Remembering your boyfriend, you froze. “How many minutes has it been? For Reggie? Has it been seven minutes?”

Patrick sighed and looked down at his watch. “Six minutes on the dot. Look, Henry’s got it.” He pointed over to the door and you saw Henry standing at the door with a few others, cheering and yelling at the two inside.

“One more minute, big guy, better cum quick,” he cackled, trying to peak in through the closed door like the drunken idiot he was. “Come on, buddy, you got this!”

It made your heart start hammering in your chest to hear Henry urging his best friend to _cheat_ on you. God, if Reggie really did… if he was right now… you weren’t even sure what you were going to do if he didn’t come out seven minutes on the dot. Slap him? Your shaking hands told you yes.

“You okay there, doll?” Patrick spoke up. “I think you need somewhere quiet… come on, I brought my dad’s car, we’ll drive around and you can relax and we’ll listen to nice music—”

“How many seconds, Pat?” you questioned frantically. His mouth twitched angrily and you looked a bit confused. He blinked and smiled again, looking down at his watch for a few seconds. “ _Patrick_!”

“Oh, Y/N,” he tsked, tapping at his watch. “Thirty seconds over seven…”

You felt your face heat up, and you stood up, hurrying over towards the door. Henry and Greta and everyone else were back at their game table now, cackling and watching the door excitedly. When you rushed past, they all broke out in _ooooohs_ and you swore you heard Henry laugh _Oh shit, he’s screwed_ quietly at his girltoy.

You grabbed the door handle and forced the door open, stepping in and immediately freezing.

Belch practically had to rip Celine’s mouth off his dick, and he threw her back by her hair in a panic. She cried out and swore, grabbing her head and whining. “You _asshole_!” she shrieked at him, getting up and rushing out the door.

“Baby!” Belch gasped at you, struggling to quickly get his penis back in his jeans. He smiled nervously and laughed even more nervously, finally zipping up his pants. “Baby, I’m… I’m sorry!”

“Reg…” you whimpered. You could barely see straight, your boyfriend— or, maybe ex-boyfriend —looking very dark and large right now in your high mind. “Y-You were—”

“No no no! No, nothin’ happened I swear!” he tried frantically.

“I _literally_ saw you!” you screamed, your words slow and slurred. Your lip trembled violently alerted you that you were starting to cry. “You… you bastard! You _son of a bitch_!”

Before he could say anything else, you ran out of the room, feeling like you were going to absolutely _die_. Your Reg… your everything since you were just a little kid, for all these years… had you really lost him so stupidly? You felt stupid, at least, for trusting him all this time. Who knew what other girls he had cheated on you with in the last few years!

You ran right past Patrick and through the whole crowd of people. It took you less time to get out the door than that thirty seconds it took for you to realize that Reg might not even love you.

Anyone on that side of the room went silent when Belch came out of the room, his face completely red. Some people were chuckling and whispering amongst themselves, and Henry was looking at Belch in shock.

Belch walked over to Henry quickly, looking crushed. “Dude, I really fucked up,” he hissed.

“Yeah, you did.” Henry scoffed. Then he smirked. “You really did, buddy, but you know what, now that you ain’t got Y/N hangin’ off’a ya, you can get your dick sucked by whatever girl you want!” Belch looked at his drunk, laughing friend in defeat, hating the thought of having lost you forever.

“You can do better than her,” Patrick spoke up. Belch glared at him as he walked closer to the two boys.

“The fuck’s that mean? You think she ain’t good enough?” Belch questioned defensively. “She’s fuckin’ _perfect_ , you ass!”

“Oh I know she is,” he agreed. “But she ain’t your type. And besides, what’s more important is, she’s way too good for _you_.”

Belch wanted to say something snarky back, but his face fell when he thought about how Patrick was right. You deserved much better than him…

“I think I’m gonna head out, Hank. This party blows,” Patrick sighed, wiping some of his hair out of his eyes. “I’ll see you guys at school. Good luck with your girl, Huggins.”

Belch wanted to punch him in the face as he watched him walk away. But he refrained himself, and instead looked at Henry as he started making out with Greta again. That should have been he and Y/N, he thought. But he had fucked up bad, this time. He might never get you back… But to him, he loved you more than anything in the world, and losing you wasn’t an option.

Tomorrow, he would win you back, no matter what it took.

**\---**

You stumbled with each clumsy step you took, anger and booze and something else coursing through your veins.

As you walked you started to feel drowsy, and you growled, shaking your head and nearly falling over trying to wake yourself up. You couldn’t quite explain the feeling, but everything was heavy, like you were made of stone, and it felt like your eyelids were forcing themselves closed.

You tripped over your own feet and fell onto the sidewalk heavily, cutting up your arms and smacking your head against the concrete. It didn’t cut it but it definitely hurt. You groaned in pain, and you felt your entire body start going numb as your head started spinning and pounding in and out of consciousness.

Patrick rolled his father’s car to a stop next to you, unsurprised that you hadn’t noticed him creeping along besides you. The roofies he had slipped in your drink seemed to be working nicely now, it had been worth the wait. He had never seen the drug work so well before. And of course he had used it on plenty of other girls before, but not like this. He had never used this much, for this purpose. And this was _you_...

He put his car in park, and got out once he saw that you weren’t moving. He opened the door and got out, opening the back door. It only took him two quick skips to get over to you, seeing that your eyes were barely open. Oh, this was going to be perfect…

When Patrick knelt down next to you he took a moment to brush your hair out of your face and kiss your cheek. Then he giggled and nudged his nose along your ear. “Let’s take you home, princess… to the rest of our lives together…” he whispered to you.

Derry, Maine had been cursed for millions of years before Patrick Hockstetter was even born. And a never ending cycle of disappearances and death was in the motions again. The creature behind it was so evil that it couldn’t be comprehended by the human mind. Not even Patrick’s twisted one.

Without Patrick’s knowledge, the creature was making its way around town on it’s semi-regular hunt for the fear only humans could provide. And unbeknownst to both Patrick and the creature, they were benefiting off each other. Because, while the creature went around killing and eating the children of Derry, setting off the string of ‘mysterious disappearances’, Patrick had been working on a little disappearance of his own. But this wouldn’t be permanent. No, you would come back, a new, happier, healthier girl. With _him_.

In the dead of Halloween night in 1988, Patrick Hockstetter lifted you up in bridal style, and carried your limp body towards his father’s black Ferrari. You looked so serene right now, he thought as he set you in the backseat of the car. Your cute little mini skirt and sweater outlined your body, and it made his cock twitch in his pants. He didn’t know if he could wait until you woke up…

“I’ll see you soon, my love,” he told you, running his hand over your cheek before moving back and shutting the door.


	2. Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: drug use, dub-con

Belch had never felt as sick as he felt on that cool November morning, and all that day.

He got into school and told his friends that he had to see you. They had left him, and he had waited by your locker for half an hour, then he waited a few more minutes, into the start of classes, and you’d never arrived.

He had waited for you in the library, and again, you hadn’t shown up. He sat at your usual table, where the two of you always spent your time together for study hall. The only familiar face he saw was Celine’s, but she had tucked herself behind the desk, avoiding his eye contact while she focused on some homework.

The library was actually where Belch had first met Celine. She did her work study in the library during her study hall and lunch periods. So of course, he saw her everyday in the study hall period they shared. He had never thought of he and Celine as having an  _ affair _ or anything… but now that you had caught them, he felt like people were looking at him and judging him for what he had done. He supposed he deserved to feel like that,  _ awful _ , like the most horrible person in the entire world…

“Yo Belch!” he heard Henry’s voice echo throughout the silent library. He closed his eyes and shook his head. Celine shushed the boy, and Belch stood up with the book he had randomly grabbed off of a shelf to pretend he was reading while he waited for you.

Henry walked over to him with Patrick and Vic close behind him. “The fuck is that? A book?” Vic asked, his voice drenched in a smart ass tone. “Why’dya gotta book, big guy? You tryin’a learn how’da read?”

Belch looked down as if he’d forgotten about the book, then looked up to glare at Vic. “Shut up, I can read fine,” he argued, walking towards the library desk. “Just give me a minute, guys, I’ll be right there.”

“Oh brother,” Patrick sighed, smirking at Celine. She gave him a disgusted look and looked up at Belch angrily. Patrick watched closely, knowing he was getting the perfect ammunition against Belch...

“Hey, Celine…. I, uh… I gotta give this book back,” he told her. She didn’t move for a moment, continuing to glare at him. Then she snatched it out of his hands and put it in the return box.

“Thanks, have a  _ great _ day,” she snapped at him. He winced, then took off his hat.

“Celine, I’m real sorry bout last night, I didn’t mean to hurt you… I wouldn’t ever mean to hurt a lady,” he tried genuinely. She looked up at him suspiciously, then blushed. He smiled sweetly and blushed too. He could hear Henry and his friend groaning behind him, and he sighed. “I uh, gotta go, I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Yeah,” she agreed softly, smiling slightly. He nodded and turned away, putting his hat back on and walking away with his friends.

For the rest of the day, he waited for you. He checked all your classes, he called into the bathrooms, the locker room, he looked in the gym, the cafeteria, around school grounds… and you just weren’t there….

He just couldn’t get over the look on your face last night when you had walked in on him…

He couldn’t even finish that thought, it made him want to punch himself. He couldn’t believe what he had done to you… he had never gotten caught before, and now that he had, he realized what a dick he had been to you.

He dropped off his friends at their respective houses after school, and went right to your house. He knocked but got no answer. He looked around, then, knowing that your parents weren’t home, he opened the door. “Y/N?!” he called into the house. “Y/N, it’s Reg. I just wanna talk!”

No answer.

He sighed and closed the door behind him, walking up to your room. He saw that the door was open, so he went into the room and frowned. “Y/N?” he wondered softly. He didn’t see you, but saw that the room was in the exact same state that it had been in before the party yesterday. He wasn’t the brightest, but he remembered hearing you say you would pick up your dirty clothes later, and there they were still on the floor. Your bed was still unmade, with the blankets on the floor in the same pile, he swore.

It clicked in his mind what that meant: You hadn’t made it home last night.

He started looking around the house, in the shower, under the beds, the basement, even the attic until he came to the conclusion that you just weren’t there… but if you weren’t home…

Where were you?

**\---**

When you woke up on what you assumed was the early morning of November 1st, 1988, you were so groggy that you barely noticed how freezing cold it was, figuring you must have left your window open a crack. You wished you had a bigger blanket, you must have kicked your comforter off the bed.

Your head ached horribly, and you felt rather sick to your stomach as you rolled over. You groaned a bit as you opened your eyes, surprised to see that it was pitch black in your room. Assuming that it was the middle of the night, you closed your eyes again and moved your legs up to curl into the blankets. The bed creaked as you moved and you yawned.

“Are you awake?”

You cried out in shock and jumped back on the bed, covering yourself with your blanket out of instinct as the voice spoke somewhere near you. You looked around, then gasped and jumped as the person who had spoken lit up a cigarette across the room-- no, not a cigarette, you quickly realized as you smelled the heavy smoke of pot. You winced as the room was lit up, and you blinked a bit to get your eyes to adjust to the lighting.

Finally your eyes focused on the boy on the couch, the desk lamp shining brightly next to him, and your mouth fell open. “P-Patrick?” you questioned. “ _ What _ …?”

You trailed off as you looked around at your surroundings. It looked like you were in a basement, but it was furnished with a bed, a desk with a radio and a small duffle bag on it, the couch… it was very dimly lit as there were no windows in the basement, just the yellow lamp to light up the room, and the stairs looked to be blocked by a closed door. It was very confined, and you gulped nervously.

_ Definitely _ not your room...

“W-What happened…? I think… I-I passed out…” you remembered, although the memory was foggy, and after leaving the party last night you couldn’t remember much other than… “I-I hit my head… and… but I can’t remember...”

You brought your hand up to your pounding head and winced when you felt a bump where you’d hit the concrete sidewalk. Patrick hummed in agreement. “Knew it wasn’t safe for you to walk home on your own, so when you left the party I followed you,” he explained, then took a hit from his joint. You watched him curiously as he blew out the smoke. “I found you knocked out a few blocks away from the party. So I brought you here.” He stood up, and walked over to you slowly, a small, thoughtful smile on his lips. “Did you sleep well? You’ve been out for almost the whole day… you must be starving, are you hungry?”

You stared at him as he turned and picked up a tray from the desk, setting it on the bed in front of you. You stared at the sandwich and the water bottle on the tray then looked up at him.

“I-I’ve been out all day?” you wondered quietly, watching as he nodded. “Jesus… I guess I had a little too much to drink last night…”

“Do you remember what happened last night?” he wondered. You frowned, and he moved the tray closer to you. You thought as you picked up the sandwich and started eating it rather quickly. You supposed you were pretty hungry…

After taking a big bite, you hesitated, swallowing and glancing over at his bedside alarm clock. 5:48PM. “Um… I don’t, really, I just remember… trying to walk home… after...” you trailed off, trying to get the fuzzy memory back.

“After you caught your ex-boyfriend cheating you?” Patrick asked bluntly, sitting on the bed next to you. You frowned deeply, shaking your head. “Don’t you remember…  _ Celine _ ?”

It all flooded back now, Halloween night, the party, Celine Pertel choking on Belch’s cock….

You felt tears well up in your eyes and quickly they started falling down your cheeks. Soon, you began sobbing, fat tears rolling down your face.

“Don’t cry…” Patrick said gently. You tried to get yourself to stop crying, brushing your hair out of your eyes, as it was stuck to your tear-covered face. Your lip trembled and you burst out into more sobs. “Baby, baby….”

You looked up at him sadly, and he moved closer, pushing the tray out of the way to the other side of the bed so that he could be closer to you as he brushed his thumb along your cheek to wipe another tear away.

“I-I just… how could he do this to me?” you wondered sadly, your voice already a bit hoarse from sobbing. He gave you a curious look. “We’ve been together for six years— longer than that if you wanna get technical! Our whole fucking lives together and I walk in on him getting his dick sucked!” You sobbed again and covered your face. Then you looked up at Patrick. “You’re his friend, has he been cheating on me this whole time?”

Patrick sighed and gently caressed your face. “I’m sorry, baby…” he said. “I’m not gonna lie to you. I don’t know how many girls he’s been with in the past couple years…”

Your face turned red and you started shaking. “That—! That lying, cheating—!!” you cried. You couldn’t even come up with a name that was bad enough to call him. “I can’t believe I ever trusted him! How could I have been so  _ stupid _ ?! What’s wrong with me, why doesn’t he love me anymore…?” You broke down sobbing again and covered your face with your hands again. “I… don’t wanna be on this  _ world _ anymore….”

“Oh, sweetheart, don’t say that,” he sighed at your melodrama. “Come here, baby girl…” He pulled you over to him so that you were snuggled against him. You closed your eyes and let him hug you. You had always liked Patrick. He was a great friend, someone you always felt like you could be honest with. At least you assumed you could be honest with him. Who would he tell? Not that the two of you had ever spent that long alone. Reg hated leaving you alone if he didn’t know where you were… he was always so worried about you, wanting to make sure you got home safe…

“Drink some water, crying’s gonna make you dehydrated,” Patrick said with a soft smile, handing you the water bottle that had been laying on the tray behind the two of you. You smiled sadly and took the bottle, uncapping the bottle and taking a few sips. “Hey, I got some shit here, Y/N, you name it I probably got it, weed, acid--”

“Woah,” you laughed lightly through your tears. You put the cap back on the water bottle and set it on the nightstand next to the bed. “Patrick, I… I don’t do drugs…”

“Well you do now. I insist!” he said politely, standing up and hurrying to the duffle bag on the desk to get something. “Wanna trip tonight, Y/N?”

You could tell that he was so happy to have you here with him. He looked back at you with a bright smile, and you shrugged.

“Fuck it, Patrick, what’ve I got to lose?” you agreed with a heavy sigh. He let out a small celebratory  _ yes _ and got to work getting the drugs ready.

You closed your eyes as he prepared it and you thought. You thought about what Belch would think about you getting high with Patrick. You thought about a time where he told you never to be alone with Patrick where he could corner you, or where there was no one around to help. You knew you were breaking Reggie’s biggest rules: no dangerous drugs, no dangerous Patrick.

You jumped a bit as Patrick sat back down next to you, and you blushed as he held up two little squares to you. Your eyes widened. “Two?” you asked nervously.

“This stuff is weak,” he lied, smiling as he opened his mouth and stuck out his tongue. You frowned, then did the same, and he set the two squares on your tongue. “Now keep ‘em on your tongue for bout ten, maybe fifteen minutes, then chew ‘em up and swallow ‘em.” He stood back up, going to the desk to get his own. You watched him gently place three tabs on his tongue, winking at you before he turned back to his desk to turn on his tape player.

He had made so many mixed tapes over the years that he filled with songs that he liked to listen to when he thought about you. He knew you would love the music too, so he pulled his favorite tape out of the bag, then he popped one in. He smiled as Fly on the Windscreen by Depeche Mode starting playing through the speakers. He turned back to you and sat on the bed, watching you play with your costume mini-skirt, feeling insecure about yourself.

What was so bad about you that Belch wasn’t faithful? He always called you perfect, he compared you to his favorite movie stars and models. But honestly, now you felt like every word he’d ever said to you was a lie. You felt so stupid and imperfect… why hadn’t you seen it? Why hadn’t you kept up your standards and tried to be how Reggie wanted you to be?

Now you felt like you were just his main girl, while he had some horrible amount of girlfriends on the side. It made you feel as dirty as you hoped he felt. He was disgusting for lying to you, and you couldn’t help but get mad.

The two of you sat in a fairly awkward silence for the fifteen minutes the acid sat on your tongues. You started feeling something like lightheadedness somewhere during that time…. you lost track of time honestly, everything felt so  _ slow _ , and every time you looked at the glowing red letters of the clock on the nightstand, not only did the numbers seem to pulse, but the time seemed to creep at an almost horribly slow rate. You looked at it and it was 6:05pm, and ten minutes later, you looked and it was…. 6:08pm… but the thoughts that went through your head in those three minutes seemed to last hours….

“Alright baby,” Patrick finally said. After awhile you had convinced yourself to just stop looking at the clock altogether. You looked at him in surprise as he spoke, realizing that the song had changed. “Now chew it up and swallow it. Chew it good.”

You hesitated, then did as he said. You chewed up the little paper squares in your mouth until they were nothing but pulp, then swallowed. 

“Okay, now what?” 

He stretched his arms above his head, his shirt pulling up slightly and revealing his slightly pudgy stomach. This always surprised you, given that he was so thin overall. You couldn’t help but stare at the dark trail of hair from his belly button down below his waist line, and you quickly looked up at him to see him smirking up at the ceiling. He put his arms back down at his sides, shaking them out.

“Now we wait. Probably only half an hour, maybe an hour till we really start ta feel it. Wanna smoke?” he offered, holding out his nearly finished joint to you. You took it, placing it between your lips while he pulled out his lighter to relight it for you. You sucked in for a few seconds, then carefully pulled the roach out from between your lips, gently pinching it with your thumb and index finger. You did this for a few puffs until the heat started to burn your fingers. You winced and tried to hand it back to him, and he grabbed the burning roach without a second thought, crushing it out with his thumb and forefinger, and flicking it across the room.

You took a shaky breath and looked around his room. Well, you assumed it was his room. It looked rather bland… it seemed like a sad and lonely way to live. “Is this your house?” you questioned politely, looking up at him. He was already looking at you with a smirk.

“I got another joint if you want it. Here, you hit first, I’ll light it,” he instructed. You frowned, unsure why he had brushed aside your question, then smiled slightly and laughed as he revealed a joint tucked in behind his ear. It had been hidden by his hair all this time, and that was cute and funny to you. He watched your bright face as you laughed, and had to shake himself back to remembering what he was doing. 

Patrick pulled the joint out from behind his ear, and held it out to you. You stared at him as you took it, and he pulled out his lighter, waiting for you to stick the end of the joint into your mouth. Once you did, holding the joint in place with your thumb and pointer finger, he flicked open the lighter and instructed you to suck in as he lit the end. You did as he said, sucking in some smoke, then a little more as he pulled the lighter away. You took the joint out of your mouth and coughed out the smoke, handing the little stick to him.

“Wow,” you said happily, laughing slightly as you shivered. The head high was immediate, the way your head suddenly became light and your mind became hazy making you smile lazily. “That feels amazing…”

“Yeah? You want more?” he offered, starting to hand the joint back to you again. You looked at the clock again and saw that it was only 6:15… God time was moving slow…

“No, you smoke first,” you agreed with a bright smile, although you coughed a bit through your words. He couldn’t help the adoring look he gave you, and you blushed, looking at the clock again. He took a few hits of weed and watched you shaking your head in confusion. “Why’s time moving so slow…?”

“Ah, that’s the acid,” Patrick explained, excited that you were starting to feel it. You nodded slowly and looked around the room again. Him reminding you of the acid made you think…

“I’ve never done anything like this, oh my  _ God, _ what was I thinking?” you groaned, covering your eyes.

“Relax, honey,” he sighed, bringing his hand to your back and rubbing gently. “You’re gonna have a bad trip if you think like that.”

You looked at him worriedly, then closed your eyes and took a breath. “Okay… okay I just need to get my mind off of it,” you agreed.

“Talk about somethin’, anythin’,” he insisted, leaning back on his elbows and handing you the joint. He watching you as you licked your lips and thought, taking a few hits of the joint and looking at it.

“Okay… um…” you started. And off you went. It didn’t take long for you to start going on and on about the things you loved, the things you loved to do, your favorite movies, your favorite shows, anything you could tangent off into.

Patrick loved listening, taking in every word and memorizing what you loved so that he could please you. He would write it all in his journal later as well, the one he kept on you. The one with pictures of you taped inside, pictures he really shouldn’t have taken. But you would never see his journals, any of them. The writing was illegible to anyone but himself, anyway, but the pictures he had, the dirt he had on people, the information he possessed… he couldn’t have anyone else but himself see it, not even you.

“You know, I was a little nervous about staying here,” you admitted. “I mean, I barely know you, but I feel really comfortable now. And happy.”

This made Patrick smile a little more. “I wasn’t gonna say anything, but I’m really happy you’re here with me tonight…” he agreed.

You blushed and looked back at him. “Yeah, why?” you wondered, turning to face him more. He sighed, and flicked what was now the roach across the room like he had with the other one.

“Well… for one, I never get to have time alone with you,” he explained gently. You smiled softly at him, feeling the hazy feeling of the weed settling in, and the dizzying feeling of the acid starting to take effect. “And I’ve always found you so…  _ fascinating. _ That’s not the word… but- but, I’ve always felt this sort of connection… l-like I’ve always thought we were really good friends.” He wasn’t sure why that had come out sounding so nervous and uncertain. He wasn’t nervous, he just couldn’t quite think straight with the three tabs starting to sink in.

You smiled a little more brightly. “Yeah, I-I mean, I haven’t really ever been able to get to know you, but I’d like to,” you told him. “I think of you as a friend, Patrick.”

He tried not to take that as being friendzoned, and looked at the door to the stairs for a moment while he thought of what he wanted to say. But all he could do was laugh.

You were very confused, completely unsure of what was so funny. But you couldn’t help but laugh too. You both giggled slightly to a stop, then he looked up at you and the two of you started laughing all over again. You couldn’t have stopped if you wanted to, but honestly, it felt good, and you hadn’t thought you would feel so good after what Reg did to you, and whatever mellow music Patrick had playing in the background sounded so good….

“H-Hey, Patrick,” you chuckled, finally getting yourself to stop laughing. “Patrick, what song is this?”

“You like it?” he asked happily, still laughing. You nodded and leaned towards him. He couldn’t help but look at you for a minute, your big, curious eyes, your beautiful lips… “You seriously don’t know Pink Floyd? The Dark Side of the Moon? Live under a rock?”

“Hey! No,” you said defensively, although you giggled. “I dunno, Reggie… only listens to hard rock, we never listen to mellow stuff.”

“You like the mellow stuff though, huh, baby?” he guessed.

You shrugged. You hadn’t ever really figured out what your type of music was, you had only listened to Reg’s songs… you guessed you had a lot to figure out about yourself now that Reg…

You took a shaky breath. “The Dark Side of the Moon… yeah, I like it,” you agreed. He leaned his head on your shoulder.

“The song is called Us and Them,” he elaborated.“The album is The Dark Side of the Moon…”

“Holy shit!”

“What?”

“P-Patrick. Can you see…  _ eyes _ on the walls?” you asked quietly, sounding mesmerized. He chuckled, but looked at the wall.

“Ohhh shits startin’a move now, huh?” he giggled. “You’re seein’ shit!”

“Ohhh my God,” you groaned, laying back on the bed. “I-I’ve never felt anything like this before….”

The way you draped yourself across the bed, so graceful and lazy looking, but at the same time you were wavy, because of the acid. Patrick lay down next to you, watching you.

You stayed laying down, just keeping your eyes closed and thinking about what life would be like without Reg. You would walk yourself to class now. You would sit in study hall alone. You would do everything by yourself now… after school, when your parents weren’t home and no one was around, you would go back home and do your homework by yourself, and cook yourself dinner, and go to bed by yourself. That hurt the most, thinking about having to sleep by yourself for the first time in six years… god you loved him so much, maybe he would take you back, still… if he hadn’t already gotten with Celine.

“You think Reg already forgot about me?” you asked loudly. “I mean… you should have seen his face when I walked in on him…”

“Oh, Y/N… you need to get your mind off of him. Reg is in the past, you can do  _ so  _ much better than him, baby girl,” he insisted brashly. You blushed. “Ain’t you ever looked at another guy?”

“Why would I look at other guys?” you countered defensively, crossing your arms.

Patrick smirked and in your high state, you laughed. “Come on, Y/N, I’ve seen you look at Henry before,” he pointed out. “Henry thinks you’re cute.”

“He does?” you asked, shocked.

He scoffed. “ _ Duh _ , most guys in Derry would kill for a night alone with you, you know how lucky I am right now?” he chuckled. It made you blush and giggle and look away from him.

“Patrick, stop,” you laughed, feeling so happy and high again as you laughed. He laughed too as another wave of the high hit you both. You sighed and licked your lips, shaking your head. “Patrick I’ve always thought you were cute.”

“You have?”

“Yeah…”

You looked back at him to see his cheeks a bit red, a soft, relaxed smile on his lips. “Y/N, I…” he started. But he couldn’t, he knew he couldn’t confess his love for you yet. He had to play it cool.

“I think you’re the most beautiful girl in this world,” he was willing to admit. This made your face turn red and you laughed. He laughed as well but turned to look at you. “No, no, Y/N, I’m serious…”

“No, you’re not, because if I was the most beautiful girl in the world, Reggie wouldn’t have cheated on me. I’m… I’m nothing!” you exclaimed rather cheerfully. 

You laughed, but felt tears start running down your cheeks, and you hiccuped. “I-I mean I literally feel like I’m nothing….” you continued, nervous. “Patrick…”

“It’s okay, baby, it’s okay, it’s just the acid,” he said again. “Just close your eyes and listen to the music, Y/N…” He moved closer to you, wrapping his arms around you until you were both comfortably snuggling against each other. You couldn’t close your eyes right away, too shocked by how nice this felt with him. Your eyelids felt heavy, and you were happy when they finally shut.

You were surprised when you didn’t see black, but saw bright colored patterns moving behind your eyelids. It scared you for a moment, and you held onto Patrick tightly. You heard him sigh, sounding happy, and he held you back, touching your hair gently.

After a few moments, you started enjoying and relaxing to the images behind your eyes, visions of pink and purple melting objects moving and twisting into pinwheels of bright gold and white, spinning into a kaleidoscope of cool toned colors.

You barely noticed as Patrick’s hands started running up your sides, his hips moving to press against yours. He couldn’t help himself as he ran his lips across your neck, before he chose a spot and bit down lightly, chuckling as you started moaning.

“I know how this might seem to you. I know I might seem weird,” he started calmly, his teeth still grazing over your neck whenever he got the chance. “But you have to believe me… I have to protect you from that lying, cheating son of a bitch that hurt you… I wanted to take you sooner, but… you were so insistent in seeing what he’d done. I’m sorry I didn’t protect you, my love, please forgive me, I feel like such a failure…”

“It’s okay, Patrick…” you whispered, gripping his shirt as he continued to kiss and bite at your neck. It felt so good, and all you wanted right now was to feel good…

“I want you to be  _ my _ girlfriend,” he blurted, hoping you wouldn’t react too badly to it. He hadn’t really meant to say that out loud. Damn LSD making his brain foggy…

“You’ll just cheat on me too…” was all you said, sadly. He frowned and hugged you tightly.

“Will you let me prove that I won’t?” he asked hopefully.

You didn’t quite know what to say. A big part of you just wanted to say  _ yes _ , you would be his girlfriend. He was so hot, and he seemed to really like you. He had helped you and had let you stay with him, and had comforted you and let you ramble. He had shared his drugs with you, and now he was holding you and kissing your neck.

But you had just been with Reg  _ yesterday _ … you weren’t completely over him yet, you had been together your whole lives, after all…

But Patrick was right, Reg was a lying, cheating son of a bitch. You could imagine the look on his face at school when he saw you in Patrick’s arms, with hickies all over your neck and your lips unable to part from one another’s…

“You promise me it will just be me?” you insisted. “You won’t go off with other girls?”

“I promise, baby, I only got eyes for you,” he agreed, happily.

You finally opened your eyes and looked up at him, deciding if you were really going to do this. You thought about it, this was  _ Patrick Hockstetter _ , he was known as a creep, a weirdo. But he was so kind to you, and again, you thought he was so cute, and he seemed to  _ really  _ like you…

You moved your body closer to his, scooting up so that you were at face level with him. You looked into his eyes. They were very empty, void of any identifiable emotion. But when he smiled hopefully at you, you knew that he wanted this as much as you did. So you leaned towards him and kissed him.

He gasped and put his hand gently on your cheek as he kissed back. He couldn’t believe how beautifully this was falling into place.  _ You _ had kissed  _ him _ !  _ You _ had made the move. And he supposed this was your answer to being his girlfriend too.

Both of you were seeing things due to the acid, and were feeling soft pins and needles all over your bodies. You were both starting to feel unbearably hot as well, and he sat you both up so that he could pull your big Derry High sweatshirt off of you.

You were too high to think about the fact that you were only wearing a bra under the sweatshirt. He groaned when he saw just how much skin was now showing, and he grabbed your waist, pressing your lips together again.

It made you nervous at first, having him touch you. No one but Reg had ever seen you completely bare, and the way he was moving his hands and grope at your breasts now, flipping the cups of your bra down so he could properly massage them, it made you want to start almost hyperventilating for a moment.

But then you thought. This was your boyfriend. Patrick was your new  _ boyfriend _ . That made you smile into the kiss, and you moved closer to him with a groan of your own. You let your hands rest on his arms, which flexed into your touch. You felt him bite at your lip, and he turned to face you more before pulling away and smirking at you, licking his lips hungrily.

“Take your bra off,” he ordered. It made you tense up and shiver, but you reached behind your back and unclipped your bra, pulling the straps off and letting it fall to the ground. He hummed and leaned down to take one of your nipples in your mouth, biting on it lightly. You moaned and grabbed at his hair. Belch had never been rough with you like this…

If only Patrick had known you thought  _ this _ was rough… he would show you  _ rough _ .

“Now get up and take off your skirt and panties,” he pressed, sounding very eager. You blushed and stood up, feeling your own eagerness starting to drip out of you. You tried to look sexy for him as you turned and pushed your miniskirt down to your ankles. You stepped out of the skirt and kicked it aside gently, putting your thumbs in the waistband of your panties. “Wait! Come here… I wanna take ‘em off…”

You shivered again and walked over to him watching him hold out his hands to grab your hips. Once he had you in front of him, he licked his lips again and grabbed the waistband of your panties, pulling them down to your mid-thighs and taking a shaky breath.

“Oh  _ fuck _ yeah…” he hissed, bringing his index finger to touch at the creamy mess in your underwear. “I’m gonna make you squirt tonight, baby, you ever done that?”

You were a blushing, shivering mess at this point, the acid making everything feel unreal and intense. He stood up to kiss you deeply, locking lips with you again and pushing his tongue into your mouth, much to your surprise.

He backed up and pulled his tee-shirt over his head, looking very clumsy and gangly with his long, thin arms and his back hunched slightly. He got his shirt over his head and stood up straight again, folding his shirt and moving to place it on the couch.

You had never really seen Patrick like this before. A few times at the Quarry, but he was strange and took all of his clothes off instead of leaving his tighty whities on, so you usually averted your gaze. He was moderately thin, save for the little chub around his belly, which hung over his waist band just slightly. He wasn’t fat, not at all, he was overall rather on the skinny side. He didn’t seem to have a lot of muscle, or at least not in the torso. You found yourself looking at his arms again, horribly attracted to the slight muscularity and the veins…

He grabbed your hand and spun you around so that your back was to the bed, then pushed you down onto it. You gasped then laughed, slightly nervous, as your back hit the bed, and he grinned at you, licking his lips more slowly. A shaky breath left you and you shut your eyes tightly as he popped his jeans’ button open, and the sound of his zipper being drawn down made you start shaking a little.

“I wanna make love, baby…” he told you, his voice seductive and low. “I wanna show you how sex is supposed to be...”

He dropped his jeans down to his ankles as you opened your eyes. You could see that he was already hard in his briefs, and he grabbed at himself aggressively with a slight groan. “P-Patrick?” you said nervously, sitting up on your elbows. He raised an eyebrow. “I-I don’t know if I can do this… I-I was just with Reg yesterday, I-I--”

“We were made for each other, Y/N,” he told you. You blinked and frowned deeply. “I love you, and deep down, I know you love me too.”

You had never been more confused in your life. He loved you? He had actually just said that hadn’t he? Patrick was having the same realization as he stared at your furrowed brow and your confused eyes.

Fuck. Goddammit. So much for waiting. Acid always did this to him. His filter started to erode away, and he slipped up. And now you were  _ scared _ , he could see it in your eyes as you stared at him. Good, he thought, maybe this was good...

He brought his hands to the waistband of his briefs and pulled them down carefully. You immediately squeezed your eyes closed and heard him climb back into the bed. You whimpered as you felt his hard cock poking at your stomach, and the heat of his body radiating onto you.

“Get off, get off,” you gasped, starting to move around frantically. He pinned your hips down quickly and you felt him rub his penis along your privates as he sat back and held your legs down.

He looked at you with what you could assume was a loving look, before he pushed the head of himself into you. He hissed and you gasped sharply as he pushed through the wet entrance.

“Holy shit…” he said through his teeth, and you could see his eye practically twitching shut with pleasure. He kept going until he hit the wetness of your vagina, then he pulled out a little, then went back in, deeper this time.

“Patrick!  _ Fuck _ !” you cried out, opening your eyes. “That hurt so fucking bad!”

“Did it? Sorry,” he chuckled half-heartedly. You squirmed as much as you could and gasped loudly. He clearly had some experience with getting lubrication to where he needed it. It made you feel all the more uncomfortable, to know that he wasn’t really understanding— or maybe he just didn’t care about —the pain you were in, and to know that you weren’t the first girl he had forced to feed his appetite.

You cried out as he bottomed out suddenly. He also yelled out, telling you that it had startled him just as much as it had startled you. The way his cock had hit your cervix had been rather painful, and you desperately tried to back yourself away from him. He took this movement as a wonderfully good sign, and he grinned, starting to grind his hips against you, pushing in until he was balls deep.

At this point it hurt so bad that you were just gripping the sheets and sobbing and shaking. Which he, again, took as a good sign. “Look at you… your pussy fucking sucked my cock right in, sweetheart,” he groaned. “ _ God,  _ you’re so wet… I can’t believe how fucking good this feels, baby, don’t this feel so good…?” He was almost shaking, and he moved back suddenly, then thrust back in. He bit his lower lip with his teeth and groaned again. “It’s like heaven inside your pussy, so hot, and wet, and--”

“NO!” you screamed in his face. It made him jump back, naturally, but his face didn’t change from the lustful one he had had on his face before you screamed at him.

“No…?” he wondered, sounding slightly sad. “Why  _ no _ , my love, you and I fit so perfectly together.”

He stared at you and brushed more hair out of your face. Your lower lip trembled and you looked away from him. “I-It just hit to deep,” you explained, not sure exactly what you were feeling. Confused for sure, scared, a bit betrayed… you had trusted Patrick, but now it felt like he just wanted sex from you… he wasn’t even reacting to the fact that you were in pain, continuing to move in and out of you.

“He could never touch you like this, could he?” he guessed, again seeming to ignore, or perhaps not understand, your pain. He pushed himself up and adjusted his angle thrusting into you.

_ That  _ felt good.

You gasped and shivered, looking away from him. “You’re everything to me, Y/N… you’re my forever, and I’m yours…. You have my whole heart, Y/N,” he admitted to you, thinking he might as well risk it all at this point.

You felt a pang in your chest, believing him. It sounded like the way you had felt for your Reggie-- well… not yours anymore… you were sure he hadn’t even noticed that you were gone from school today. It was Tuesday, the day you had study hall together. And the day Celine had work study in the library where you two hung out… you could just imagine it now. With you gone, Belch would likely be all over Celine today, telling her how pretty she was, and begging her to let him call her his… that killed you.

“D-Did Reg say anything about me today? At school? I mean, did he seem worried that I was gone?” you asked him weakly. He looked annoyed. You trembled through your whole body and gulped. “Please, just tell me if he misses me… that’s all I’m asking.”

He sighed heavily, flipping some hair out of his face. “I don’t know if you caught on, Y/N, but Belch thinks of you as just as much of a play toy as he thinks of any other woman. He doesn’t give a shit about you, and he never has. You can think what you want, but from a friend’s perspective, he started lookin’ at Celine last year, thought she was a hot piece’a ass, and he knew she’d suck his dick. And he wanted that, because she’s literally known for her blowies. So they got together in June, and  _ God _ did he brag about it--”

“ _ June _ ?!” you cried, moving back from him. He grunted as your movement caused the intercourse to cease. You stared at him, trying to figure out if he was serious or not. He just had those empty eyes, but his eyebrow was raised. “Did he even notice I was gone?” You were quiet with doubt, and Patrick sighed.

He knew you were heartbroken from seeing your long-time lover cheating. It was perfect timing, he hadn’t expected it at all. He knew he had willed it so, the way he did so many other things. No one ever suspected him of the bad things that happened. No one looked at Patrick when animals went missing, or girls stopped being themselves. He had a free pass to do anything he wanted, at the dire misfortune of others.

And now, he had made it so that your boyfriend cheated on you, and broke your heart so that he could pick up the pieces and offer you his heart. And it was  _ working _ . He could see it in your eyes how heartbroken you were. And you had readily agreed to be his girlfriend. Everything was falling into place. And god, he couldn’t help himself, he wanted to rush this so badly...

“Couldn’t tell you, Y/N, didn’t see him much today,” he admitted.

“Where was he?” you insisted.

“I’m not talking about him anymore, Y/N, he’s not important. What’s important is me— you.  _ Us _ …” he told you shortly, grabbing your legs again and kissing at your knee. “I don’t want you bringing him up again, okay? It’s time to let go of the past, and focus on our future together… I can’t wait to spend eternity with you, Y/N, God, you have no idea how many nights I prayed for this, how many nights I dreamed of you… haven’t you ever looked at me and thought we would be great together?”

You hesitated. You weren’t about to tell him you had had a small crush on him in, like, 6th grade…. And that it had never really gone away. You knew he was weird, and you never expected anything to happen…

Of course you never expected anything to happen, you had thought that you and Reg would be together forever… and you knew you needed to be honest with him. “Patrick, I’ve never even pictured myself with anyone but…” you trailed off, unsure if you should even say his name. Patrick narrowed his eyes a bit. “And now that he’s… not mine anymore… I think I just need time, Patrick, I need time to get over him… you can understand that, can’t you?”

“You need time to get over him. I see,” he sighed. “So you aren’t into me?”

You looked surprised. “No! No that’s not it, just…” You tried to think of what to say.

“It’s alright, Y/N, I understand, I’ll give you all the time you need,” he told you, moving to climb on top of you again. “But in the meantime, I ain’t lettin’ you blue ball me. I wanna nut so hard in your cunt…” He trailed off as he shoved his middle finger into you, and rubbed at your G-spot. You felt your body tremble, and you closed your eyes tightly. It felt good, different from….

You knew he was right, that you just had to move on and forget about Reg-- Belch. He couldn’t be Reg anymore, it hurt too much to be that close to him.

And since you were apparently spending the rest of your life with  _ Patrick _ now, you figured you should learn to enjoy the way he touched you, and the ways he pleased you.

His fingers were thin and long, and as he slid his pointer finger into you as well, you couldn’t help but moan, already feeling an orgasm creeping towards you. His fingers were cold, which made them all the more noticeable, but not in a bad way. Instead, it made it more sensitive to the touch, and you felt your body twitch and you arched your back into his touch.

Patrick grinned down at you and started rapidly fucking into your g-stop with his fingers. “Cum on my hand, babe,” you ordered. “Cum on my hand, and scream out my name.”

“I-I…” you started, not able to come up with English. “ _ Oh _ ,  _ my God _ …”

“ _ Fuck _ , yes,” he laughed. “I’m your God now, sweetheart…  _ now scream. _ ”

“C-Can’t….” you tried, looking up at him.

“No one’s around to hear you… it’s just you and me, Y/N. I promise no one will hear you scream,” he smirked. You gave him a wary look and he licked his lips, starting to finger fuck you more rapidly again, having lost his pace a bit. Your legs shook and you gave in, groaning loudly to test the volume and echo in the basement. “That’s it…”

  
  


“Fuck, Patrick,  _ fuck _ !” you moaned, your voice raw with emotion and lust. Just a few minutes ago he had been hurting you, and now you were enjoying this. And how could he possibly know that no one would hear you? It confused you, but you could barely concentrate. He leaned down and started poking at your clit with his tongue, flicking it with his strong, skilled muscle. Your mouth fell open and a higher pitched noise came out.

“I’m gonna torture you, baby…” he groaned against your pussy. “Gonna torture you with pleasure, gonna make you wish I’d stop fucking you, gonna make your insides hurt for days…”

You couldn’t help but moan again, and he started flicking his tongue which cut off any worried thoughts you had. “Fuck me, Patrick,” you swore. He grinned and nipped at your inner thigh with his yellowed teeth.

“Say it again. Beg for my cock,” he demanded. You turned your blushing face away and sighed out in pleasure as he crooked his fingers and started assaulting your sweet spot. You cried out and squirmed, and he swiftly moved his body, reaching his free hand out and grabbing your throat.

“P-Patrick…” you gasped. “I’m cumming…”

“Yeah, like getting choked out, hun?” he smirked, biting his lip happily. “Oh, you’re more than perfect… Can’t wait for eternity with you, my love…”

Without another word, he pushed his cock into you again, making you gasp for air and squirm. He angled himself the way you liked and thrust in and out quickly, reaching down with his thumb to rub at your clit.

“ _ P-Patrick….  _ Patrick!” you moaned out, although it sounded strained due to him choking you.

“Scream it,” he ordered again, letting go of your throat. You immediately groaned out loud and screamed.

“ _ Fuck, fuck! _ Patrick!” you screamed, wincing and twitching as he made you cum around him. His mouth fell open.

“Oh,  _ shit _ ,” he grinned, slowing down his thrusts to look at the mess you had made on his cock, and on the bed underneath them. “God you’re so creamy… fucking messy girl…”

He started pounding into you again. You gasped, and he continued rubbing your clit with his thumb. You whimpered at the overstimulation and he bit his lip. He was gonna shoot his load in you, and  _ God _ did he hope you would carry his seed… maybe that was too soon, he thought, but it would form an even stronger bond between the two of you, for a part of him to connect to you, even microscopically. And then that seed what grow, and grow, and grow, and you would be so attached to Patrick…

“You on the pill?” he thought to ask suddenly. He didn’t stop fucking you though, and his voice was strained.

“Yes, of course,” you agreed, breathlessly. But then you thought. “But… But I didn’t get to take it last night, or tonight, s-so—”

“ _ Fuck _ , yes,” he grinned, moving his hand from your clit and grabbing your legs, starting to jackhammer into you. Your mouth fell open and your head fell back, then you picked it up quickly to look at him with heavy lidded eyes. “Fuck…”

He squeezed your legs together in front of him, your calves over his shoulders, and leaned into you as he fucked you. “ _ Oh _ ,” you gasped, turning your head to the side.

“Shit, Y/N,” he sighed in agreement, rolling his hips slightly and his mouth fell open. Without warning, he knelt up straight again and snapped his hips into you a few times, his eyes shut tightly and loud grunts leaving his throat as he came inside you.

You were a bit too delirious on the drugs and sex to remember that was a bad thing. So you closed your eyes as you felt him pull out, and he laid down heavily next to you.

Patrick sighed happily and turned his head to look at you. “That was great… probably the best sex I’ve ever had,” he admitted, grinning. You opened your eyes slightly and smiled, feeling groggy but not tired. “Wanna go another round?”

You groaned softly and laughed. “Oh, Patrick, I don’t know if I can,” you told him honestly. “I mean that was… it was  _ great  _ but it was a  _ lot _ …”

“Was it…?” he asked excitedly. “Oh, I’m sure he didn’t show you much. You’ve probably only done missionary and given blowies. I got so much to show you…” he put his hand around your throat and pulled you close to him to kiss you.

You frowned and pushed him back, remembering Reg for just a moment in your high mind. Then you felt a little defensive for your… your ex. You guessed he really was your ex-boyfriend now…

Patrick bit his lip and tried to move closer to you, but you kept your hands on his shoulders to keep him back. “L-Look, he may be a cheater, but he was  _ great _ in bed,” you defended him. Patrick dramatically rolled his eyes. “I’m serious, he liked it a lot of ways.”

“Oh yeah?” he wondered, curious to know how much you actually had experienced with Belch. “Tell me…”

“Ew, no,” you laughed, starting to turn away from him. He grabbed your arm. “I don’t wanna talk about him anymore, it makes me sad…”

“Just tell me about the sex,” he pleaded. You gave him a disgusted look and he grunted. “Tell me, Y/N, come on!”

“Stop it, Patrick, you’re making me uncomfortable,” you told him seriously, trying to yank your arms out of his grip, but it was rigid, his boney fingers digging into your skin and making you wince. “Patrick, I think I should go...”

“It’s too late, curfew,” he reminded you. You frowned and tried to yank away again, still met with his surprisingly strong grip. He grinned, then licked his lips, letting go off you with one hand so that he could touch your hair. “Besides, you should be spending your nights with me now. I know you always slept at  _ his _ place with  _ him _ , my parents will let you live with me.”

“That’s okay,” you argued quickly, starting to feel creeped out. Honestly, you didn’t know Patrick. He was an acquaintance, really, you hadn’t known him your whole life the way you’d known Reg… you needed this to be more normal, where you two got to know each other before you really started loving each other.

You realized that he had already confessed his love for you, had called you the most beautiful girl in the world, had fucked you and… had cum inside you… it seemed that, to Patrick, everything was a lot farther along than it was…

Patrick stared at you as your face started becoming anxious, and his face fell, going completely blank as he got up, letting go of you completely.

You hesitated, then sat up, starting to grab your clothes as he unzipped the large part of the duffle bag. “No. Get back on the bed,” he ordered.

“Patrick, look, this was really nice—” you started, holding your clothes in your hand as you turned to look at him. “But I think I should head home, I just wanna be alone tonight, okay?”

He turned to stare at you and you shivered, unsettled by the cold glare he gave you. “Give me that,” he snapped, grabbing your clothes out of your hand. You jumped, then gasped as he shoved them into the duffle bag and pulled out a chain instead. Your eyes widened and he continued to stare at you. “Y/N, get back on the bed.”

“I gotta go,” you insisted, starting to back away towards the door. Although his expression remained blank, he raised an eyebrow, and you could see the annoyance in his eyes. “Patrick, I’m sorry, this is just getting weird… I mean… what’s that chain for?”

“It’s for you.”

You felt like your heart jumped into your throat and you tried quickly to swallow it back down. For you? What did that mean?

He started following you towards the door, taking slow, but long strides towards you, his apathetic eyes staring you down. You felt your back hit the door and you quickly turned around, feeling that the handle was stuck in place, not budging when you tried to turn it: locked.

“ _ Oh my God _ …” you gasped, feeling your eyes tear up. You felt him stop right behind you and you quickly turned around, looking up at him fearfully. He sighed and tilted his head to the side thoughtfully. “P-Please, I just wanna go home, you don’t have to do this, I’ll come back tomorrow, y-you can even pick me up for school tomorrow, the way he used to…” You felt tears roll down your cheeks, and you anxiously tried turning the doorknob again as he moved even closer to you, his bare chest touching yours as you started sobbing.

“Oh come on, cut that out,” he tried quietly. “Don’t cry, it’s not going to change anything.”

“I wanna go home! I wanna sleep in my bed, Patrick, let me out! I want my Mom and Dad, I don’t wanna be here anymore!”

He sighed as you started pointlessly yelling at him, and he reached down, grabbing your leg and pulling it up towards himself. You gasped and twisted towards the door to hold on as you lost your balance, and you looked back in horror as you heard and felt something metal wrap and lock around your ankle.

“What the fuck are you doing?!” you shrieked. “This is crazy! What the fuck is wrong with you?!” You started hyperventilating, and tried your best to kick him. But he held your foot away from his face, and just yanked the chain and lifted your leg higher. 

You lost your balance, turning and falling so that the back of your head hit the concrete floor.


	3. Forever

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: confinement/captivity

You could feel your head pounding before you had even woken up. When you finally opened your eyes, even though it was just barely, the dim light from the lamp blinded you and sent a searing pain through your head.

You groaned loudly, your voice sounding echoed to your own ears, and as you tried to move your head away from the light, you felt more pain, this time excruciating from the back of your head, making you cry out.

You felt someone lift your head up, and you limply tried to move when you remembered that it was Patrick. But all moving did was make your head hurt.

“Fuck, Y/N, what’d ya do…?” Patrick sighed, his voice sounding echoed too.

“M-My head…” you whimpered, absentmindedly grabbing onto his arm. “It  _ hurts… _ ”

“ _ Yeah _ , I bet… it’s bleeding…” he observed, moving one of his hands back.

“What?!” you cried. But that just sent shockwaves of nauseating pain through you. He could tell by the way you winced violently then your eyes started rolled back like you were going to pass back out.

“Jesus Christ, it’s just a little cut,” he sighed, lifting you up and carrying you over to the bed. He made sure to keep your head at an angle that would keep pressure off wherever the fuck was bleeding.

This was a little more than he had needed. But at least you would be immobile for a little while, and that worked to his advantage.

“Patrick, I need to go to the hospital,” you begged. You opened your eyes to look at him, and saw his back, as he was bent over, doing something under the bed.

“Hell no, I ain’t takin’ you to no hospital, it ain’t that bad,” he snorted, not looking up at you. You heard a  _ click _ ing sound and he hummed quickly, standing up straight. Then, you heard a chain  _ rattle _ and you remembered that he had shackled your ankle, and you started crying. He had obviously just locked the other other end to the wall or something stationary under your bed.

What the  _ fuck _ was going on?!

“Patrick,  _ please _ ,” you sobbed, feeling your head hurting more the more you cried. So you took a deep breath and tried your best to hold it in, even though you were terrified.

“Just don’t move, honey, I’m gonna get everything we need, just hang tight, okay?” he told you, leaning down and kissing your forehead. He walked over to his jeans and pulled them on, then reached into his pocket and pulled out the key to the door. He unlocked the door, opened it, and closed it behind him as he went upstairs.

You wished he had at least turned the light off… your head was pounding so badly. You shut your eyes so that you’d feel just a little less sick to your stomach, and you did as he had said, trying not to move. What choice did you have?

A few minutes later, you heard him coming back down the stairs, and you opened your eyes, seeing that he had a medium sized cardboard box in his arms as he pushed through the door. He set the box on the couch and walked to the door again to shut and lock it. He tossed the key in the duffle bag on the desk once he came back over to you.

“Sorry…” he said simply. “I have everything we need now. This is gonna hurt but—”

“Oh  _ fuck _ ,” you laughed, a few tears running down your cheeks. “Patrick are you gonna kill me?”

“Why would I kill you?” he chuckled. “You’re the last person I would wanna kill. I love you, Y/N. That’s why I gotta nurse you back to health. Don’t worry, love, everything’ll be alright.”

He moved away from you to the box on the couch and pulled out a few things that you were having a hard time seeing clearly. “Patrick, just kill me…” you pleaded honestly.

You figured he must be the reason kids were going missing in Derry… he was going to kill you just like he’d killed Georgie Denbrough, and Veronica Grogan…

You felt your body tremble and you felt tears fall down your cheeks. You were scared, you were really truly scared, and as he moved back towards you, then stopped to set the things on the nightstand, you kept your eyes on him. You no longer trusted him. What kind of psycho locked you in a basement and chained you to the wall, for fuck’s sake?!

“Why would I take the time to help you with your head if I was gonna kill you?” he pointed out, picking up a package of gauze pads and pulled one out, then picked up a brown bottle of hydrogen peroxide. He unscrewed the lid and dumped some of the clear liquid in the brown bottle onto the gauze pad. Then he set the bottle down and folded the gauze pad in half. “I’m gonna move your head, just try and relax for me, okay, baby?”

Patrick sat on the bed next to you and you whimpered, feeling him carefully turn your head to the side, facing away from him. It made you nervous, not being able to see what he was doing. You hissed in pain as you felt him start dabbing the cut on the back of your head with the soaked pad of gauze, the feeling of the peroxide bubbling making you feel nauseated with pain again.

“Just relax,” he said again, starting to carefully move your hair away from the cut. He dabbed at it a few more times, then you felt him pause for a little while, and you whimpered. “I ain’t gonna hurt you right now, Y/N, I wouldn’t hurt you unless I wanted to.”

That didn’t bring you much comfort. You took a shaky breath when you felt his finger spread a gel-like substance— the ointment, you realized —across the cut, and you whimpered again, this time in pain. 

“Sorry,” he sighed. “I promise, it’s almost over.

He set your head down carefully, and picked up the bandage to unravel it. He carefully started wrapping the bandage around your injured head. You stayed silent as he tied the end tight around your head, and he moved back.

“There. All better!” he told you, leaning down to kiss your bandaged head. You glared up at him weakly and he pouted. “Look, I weren’t tryin’a hurt you, Y/N…. can’t you forgive me?”

“ _ Forgive _ —?!” you started loudly, quickly wincing and groaning, grabbing your head. “Patrick take me home…”

“Nope.”

“Why?  _ Why?! _ ” you hissed, feeling beyond confused and angry. “Why the  _ fuck _ am I chained to your fucking  _ bedroom wall?! _ ”

“My— Y/N, this isn’t my bedroom,” he grinned slowly. You blinked, gulping.

“Well then where the  _ fuck are we _ ?” you asked, trying to stay calm. He tilted his head and sat down on the bed next to you. You moved away from him, but he followed you, leaning over to play with your hair.

“I can’t tell you that…” he sighed, smiling softly. “This is our special place…”

“Oh  _ fuck _ you!” you shrieked. You didn’t care that your head hurt, you were  _ so  _ angry. You slapped his hand away from your hair and jumped up, so that you were standing on the bed.

He looked mildly surprised, and stood up from the bed, letting you jump down and shove the bed over so that you could get to where you chained to the wall. It looked like you were held in place with a padlock.

“Unlock it,” you demanded, standing up straight and crossing your arms. “Unlock it, and I don’t tell anyone about this.”

“Oh,” he chuckled. “You’re so cute, Y/N… you won’t be telling anyone about this...”

“ _ Fucking unlock it!! _ ” you screamed at him. He just stared at you, but you saw his brow twitch in annoyance. “Patrick, unlock me or I swear to God—”

“Y/N,” he laughed. “By the time you leave here, you won’t ever wanna leave.” You looked shaken by this, so he moved forward. “I made this place special, just for you. There’s a bathroom right through that door…” He pointed to the door closest to you, which you’d pushed the bed in front of. He moved around it and pushed the bed back into place, forcing you to back up. “And there’s lots of paper and pencils in the desk, for you to draw or write. And there’s the radio so you can listen to music—”

“You’re keeping me here…?” you whimpered as the realization started sinking in. He blinked, then moved back around the bed towards you. “O-Oh my God, are you  _ keeping me here _ ?!”

“Yes, Y/N,” he finally admitted. Your face fell even more and he reached forward to touch your face. You immediately flinched back and screamed. “Come on, Y/N…”

You just kept screaming, feeling your panic in your chest and stomach and throat, squeezing and stabbing. You backed away from him, looking around for anything to defend yourself. You felt him grab you by the arm and you started to sob, feeling him drag you back over towards the bed.

“It’ll be alright, love,” he assured you calmly. Too calmly. Why was he doing this?!

You screamed again and tried desperately to yank your arm out of his grasp. “HELP!!!” you shrieked. “God,  _ please _ , somebody HELP ME!!!”

“No one can hear you,” he sighed, sounding annoyed. You started struggling violently and he made a  _ tsk _ noise with his tongue and teeth. As he was forced to grab your waist, he felt you start trying to kick back at his legs, so he quickly lifted you off the ground. This really made you yell, and he growled, throwing you on the bed.

It knocked the wind out of you, and made your head pound, so you stopped screaming, instead just sobbing miserably. “ _ No _ …” you pleaded as he sat on the bed next to you.

“Alright, listen. All I’m gonna tell you is: we’re in the middle of the woods. If you could go outside, all you would see would be oak and pine trees as far as the eye can see….” He touched your chained ankle playfully. “But you can’t go outside. Not yet. And even if you did get out, even if you ran… I would find you…”

He said it so comfortingly. Like his obsession with you and his keeping you here we’re good things. You whimpered and fresh tears started to fall. This didn’t deter him, in fact it made him smile. You were afraid of him. That was good. You needed to fear him so that you would learn to listen…

But he also needed to show that he could care for you… that’s why he had patched up your head and had given you a soft bed, and music to listen to…

Thinking of that, he stood up quickly and walked over to the desk. You watched him pull a box out of the duffle bag, and open the lid. “What are you in the mood to listen to?” he questioned. You just glared at him. He glanced back at you and chuckled. “I have lots of tapes for you. Wanna look through them?”

You felt your jaw tremble, and you broke down into tears again. He sighed and shut the box, setting it aside on the desk and pulling a few books out of the bag, and a few towels. Then he zipped the bag shut and lifted it off the desk. He glanced at the clock and pouted.

“I gotta head to school,” he sighed. You looked up at him, then looked at the clock. 5:00AM.

“Please don’t leave me here,” you begged weakly. “ _ Please _ Patrick, I won’t tell anyone, I’ll be your girlfriend, I’ll do whatever you want, you  _ can’t  _ leave me here…”

“I’ll be back tonight,” he announced proudly. “Don’t worry, I won’t be gone long.”

“ _ Please _ ,” you sobbed, grabbing at the chain that kept you in this room. He walked over to you, and leaned down. He held the bag behind him as he kissed your tear-soaked, parted lips. You grimaced and shrieked in his face. “Patrick,  _ please _ !!!”

“Hey!” he barked suddenly, grabbing your chin. You stared at him with wide, fearful eyes, and he smirked. “Don’t yell at me. You don’t scream unless I tell you to, understand…?”

“Fuck you,” you spat in his face. He closed his eyes and wiped your spit off his face with his free hand, letting the duffle bag hit you. “Ow!”

“Well it’s not my fault!” he insisted, standing up straight. “I’ll be back tonight. Behave and you’ll get dinner.” You froze and watched him walk towards to door, pulling it open and turning to look at you one more time. “I love you, Y/N…”

“Patrick…”

“I’m so excited to finally have you,” he admitted, almost turning back into the room. He stopped himself and sighed. “I love you, Y/N.”

Without another look, he walked out the door, shutting the door behind him. He heard a  _ click _ at he locked the door behind himself, and you whimpered again before starting to sob.

**\---**

“Have you seen Y/N?!”

Patrick didn’t even have time to wave at his friends before Belch was frantically asking the question. Patrick raised an eyebrow and moved to climb into the car.

“Yeah, I was balls deep in her gouche last night,” he teased, although he held in a giggle knowing just how true it was.

“Shut the fuck up, Patrick, she’s fucking missing, like  _ for real _ ,” Vic snapped. Patrick gave him a wary look and looked at Belch as he settled into his seat and the car took off with a  _ screech _ .

“Oh yeah?” he asked. He glanced at Henry, seeing the boy with a grumpy, upset look on his face through the side mirror in front of him. Henry caught his gaze and narrowed his eyes.

“ _ Yeah _ , Patrick,” he scoffed, turning around in his seat. “Belch says she ain’t at home, and she ain’t been home since before the party  _ two nights ago _ .”

“We’re skippin’ today to look for her,” Belch explained. He gripped and ungripped the steering wheel nervously as he turned off onto a dirt road. “I hope she’s okay….”

“She’s fine, bud,” Henry insisted, sitting back down. “Maybe a little cold, a little hungry, but we’ll find her.”

“Yeah, and she’ll be so happy to see you,” Vic agreed, reaching forward and patting his best friend on the shoulder. Belch smiled worriedly and Patrick rolled his eyes.

“Have you called the police?”

Belch glanced at him through the rear view mirror and gulped. “Well… they’re gonna think it’s me,” he pointed out. Patrick raised an eyebrow. “I mean… everyone knows what I did… they’ll think I did somethin’ bad to get rid’a her…” He shook his head and pulled the car into a clearing. “God I’m such an idiot… I shoulda never let her walk home alone…”

The large boy got out of his car, and Vic quickly climbed out after him. Henry got out and let Patrick climb out the back seat. Belch and Vic started walking ahead and Patrick chuckled.

“You know we ain’t gonna find her, right?” Patrick pointed out. Henry glared at him as they started walking. “This is like that little Denbrough kid, some sick fuck is taking kids. I say we stay the fuck outta the woods, unless we wanna be that psycho’s fuck toys.”

“Shut up, Hockstetter, this is different than that,” Henry insisted. “And where the hell were you last night? Belch was having a fuckin’ panic attack over this shit, we coulda used your help lookin’ for her.”

“Church thing,” he lied. “I don’t wanna help look for her. Why should we? It’s his fuck up, not ours.”

“Yeah? I know how much you like her Hockstetter, who the fuck you tryin’a fool?” Henry scoffed.

“ _ I  _ like her? What about you? You’re the one all worried over her,” he pointed out. Henry turned a little red.

“She’s a good girl for Belch, that’s all. I know he’ll be all messed up if she don’t come outta this…” he admitted. “He’s already a mess, look at him.”

They looked ahead at the large boy as he walked quickly through the forest, looking around in every direction and adjusting his hat frantically every so often.

“Yeah, cause he fucked up,” Patrick pointed out. “He cheated on her.” Henry gave him a suspicious look, and Patrick shrugged. “She’s probably don’t even want Belch to find her.”

“Alright, Hockstetter,” Henry scoffed, grabbing his arm and holding him back. Patrick gave him a blank look. “You’re actin’ real suspicious. Why the fuck wouldn’t she want her damn boyfriend to find her? And  _ church thing _ ? That’s bullshit, where were you  _ really _ ?”

“It was a church thing, Henry, I swear,” he defended himself. “You know how much I like the Church, I like helping the priest, I think he likes me… he likes to touch my asshole—”

“Patrick  _ seriously _ ?!” Henry snapped, getting fed up with Patrick’s weird sense of humor. Belch and Vic looked back at them and looked surprised. Henry hesitated, then waved for them to go ahead. “You better quick fuckin’ around with that faggot shit…”

“Oh, Henry,” Patrick sighed. “I already told you I was balls deep in Y/N last night, what more do you want me to say?”

“So she’s at your place?” Henry asked, grabbing him to make him stop. “Are you fuckin’ serious, Belch is gonna have a heart attack—”

“She’s not at my house,” Patrick argued. Henry looked like he was going to explode with anger. “Henry I’m fucking with you, take a damn joke. I don’t know where she is. I  _ guess  _ I’ll help find her, but I expect to get laid by her at the end of this…”

“Patrick why that  _ fuck _ would she fuck you?” Henry questioned, sounding angry. “Look I ain’t stupid, I know you’re hiding something.”

Patrick knew he shouldn’t have said anything to raise Henry’s suspicion of him, but he loved seeing the boy get riled up. “Oh no. Henry, you’re the only one hiding anything. Don’t worry, I’ll keep your secret… you know that,” he assured his friend with a smirk. He saw the way Henry paled and looked away from Patrick.

“You keep your Goddamn mouth shut, you hear me?” he warned. “Why the fuck’d you even bring that up, Jesus—”

“I just don’t want you to forget that secrets are secrets for a reason,” Patrick explained. “I’ll keep yours if you quit asking about mine.” Henry stared at him, now having, in his mind, proof that your disappearance had something to do with Patrick. “Got it?”

“Got it,” he agreed reluctantly. He wanted to find you but… he didn’t want people thinking that he was gay.

Patrick was a weird kid, and no one questioned that one bit. But Henry had seen just how manipulative he could be…

It hadn’t been that long ago, just this summer… The two boys were sitting alone in Patrick’s room, looking through Patrick’s many porno magazines and jerking off. Patrick was on one side of his bed, and Henry had been on the other. Patrick had looked over and seen Henry had his magazine open to a picture of a woman sucking a man's cock. Henry had his eyes closed and was vigorously beating his meat as he imagined what a blowie would feel like right then and there.

When all of a sudden, Patrick had tossed his magazine aside and had reached over and grabbed Henry’s rock solid dick.

Henry was so shocked that he hadn’t reacted as his friend started jerking him off, other than opening his eyes wide and staring down at the cold, bony fingers around his hot solid dick.

“I want it in my mouth,” Patrick had said. And without consent he had started going down on Henry, making Henry cum even as he begged Patrick to stop.

Henry had never gotten over that night. Had he really been so weak that he hadn’t beat that faggot’s ass the moment is hand touched him? Had he really just sat there while he sucked his dick, doing nothing but asking him to stop? If he told anyone, he knew those would be the questions. His Dad would call him a pussy faggot, and he would never live any of it down.

But why was Patrick bringing this up now? What did that have to do with Y/N being missing? What did he know…?

“Whatever, Hockstetter,” he dismissed. He couldn’t risk someone thinking he was gay. Whatever Patrick was hiding, it was nothing compared to that night this summer… And with Patrick threatening him with that again, he knew he should just drop it. “Let’s just help Belch find Y/N, okay? End of discussion.”

Henry sped off ahead of Patrick, who smiled triumphantly and followed his best friend. No one would find you. No would dare to look, and Henry was dropping his suspicions out of fear of being exposed for who he truly was…

The four boys continued scouring the forest for hours, until night started to fall. Belch stopped as they reached a clearing in the forest and his friends stopped around him as they saw the sun starting to set.

“Think it’s time to call it quits, bud,” Henry sighed, giving his friend a slap on the back as he saw the boy’s lip tremble. “Don’t start cryin’ now, tough guy.”

“I ain’t gonna cry,” he growled, and Henry realized that he was  _ angry _ . “We can’t give up, we gotta find her.”

“No offense, bud, but I gotta go,” Patrick spoke up wryly. Belch glared back at him. “No offense! I gotta get home to have dinner with my folks…. you know how my Ma is when she gets back from business…”

“Yeah, Belch, my Dad’s gonna give me hell if I don’t get back by curfew,” Henry added.

Belch looked hopefully at Vic, who looked a little guilty. “Your Mama would want you home by now, wouldn’t she Reg?” he pointed. Belch looked absolutely livid. “Come on, man, we’ll pick this up after school—”

“No! We’re finding her  _ tonight _ ,” he demanded. The other boys looked at each other. “She’s… she’s lost… she must feel so scared and alone…”

“Or she’s finally happy to be away from you,” Patrick blurted, his lips curling into a smirk. Belch gave him the most hateful glare. “I mean, you cheated on her, she probably doesn’t  _ want you _ to find her.”

“She’s… no,” Belch demanded.

“Alright. But you didn’t see her face when she ran outta the house, she was devastated…. I wouldn’t  _ blame  _ her if she never wanted to see your face again.”

“Hockstetter!” Henry barked. Patrick raised an eyebrow but kept his mouth shut. Henry looked up at Belch and sighed. “Come on, Belch, let’s get home. We’ll keep lookin’ for her tomorrow.”

Henry snapped at Vic, who quickly walked over and started following the older boy back through the woods. Belch didn’t move, looking defeated.

“You really think she don’t want me to find her?” he asked Patrick weakly. “You think she ran away?”

“Wouldn’t surprise me,” he shrugged. “Either that or the psycho took her and she’s as dead as Georgie Denbrough by now.” Belch looked devastated. “Just bein’ honest! I know how much you liked her, dude, I’m sorry… but I’d just give up now…”

Without another word, Patrick turned and started following Henry and Vic, jogging to catch up with them.

**\---**

You yanked at the chain one last time before letting go and grabbing your hair, dry sobbing. It had been almost been 14 hours since Patrick had left, according to the digital clock next to the bed. You were scared and cold and hungry…

You had tried everything to break the chain, yanking it violently from the wall end, yanking it from the ankle end, using the bed feet to try and break it, even trying to break it with the radio, but that only broke the radio.

The rest of the time was spent either getting as close to the door as you could and screaming for help, or searching the desk and nightstand for something to break the chain. All that was in the desk was pen and paper and the Holy Bible, and when you opened the nightstand drawer, there were a bunch of sex toys.

After finding that, you just sat in silence. Shaking and terrified and alone, you just stayed in a sitting fetal position. That had lasted about an hour, until your arms and legs felt numb. Then you had tried desperately again to yank at the chain around your ankle, pulling so hard that the metal cut open the skin there.

And here you were now, going into a panic attack even as your injured head pounded, and your ankle throbbed and bled onto your leg as you got back into fetal position.

What if you were really stuck here? Alone except when  _ he _ came back... What if you were left chained to the wall everyday for the rest of your life? God, you were going to go completely insane…

Suddenly, the door handle was rattling violently, like someone was desperately trying to get in. You gasped and whimpered, backing up as far as you could, until you hit the head of the bed behind you. Was it Patrick? Or was someone here to save you?

The door opened quickly, and you began crying when you saw Patrick. “Well hello to you too,” he sighed. He came inside the room, a tray with a water bottle and a sandwich in one of his hands. “We’ll need to work on that… you should be  _ happy _ when I get back.”

“Let me  _ go _ …” you begged. “Please—!”

“Oh, no no no, don’t start that,” he growled, setting the tray on the table. “Look, you need to learn to love me, or you’re never going to leave, got it? What am I saying? You  _ do _ love me. Deep down. You need to accept it, Y/N, you need to let yourself be as in love with me as I am with you.”

You stared at him in terror, but kept your mouth shut. What if he hurt you again? Sure he had patched you up, but your head was killing you, and you felt a little drowsy all day. You thought maybe you had a slight concussion, and you wanted desperately to go to the doctor to see. But you were trapped, and he had assured you that even if you could leave, you would be lost in the middle of the woods somewhere…

“Patrick, I want my Mom…” you pleaded, sobbing. “A-And my Dad, and my Reggie—”

“Your  _ what _ ?” he questioned, sitting on the bed. “You’re not seriously still in love with that cheating bastard, are you? After what he did to you? After I’ve treated you  _ so _ much better?” He watched your face pale in fear, and he moved closer to you, smirking. “That idiot hasn’t even called the police. Your Mommy and Daddy don’t know your even gone, Y/N.”

You looked horrified and he laughed. “No, you’re lying,” you denied. “Y-You’re just trying to scare me.”

“No one’s looking for you, Y/N,” he told you, and you started crying again. That frustrated him. Why the hell were you so upset? You should be happy to be with him by now. This was nothing like the puppies or the cats, they warmed up to him right away. You had liked him before, but now you were acting like a brat… he just hoped he didn’t have to starve you to earn your affection again…

“I got your food for the day,” he announced darkly, remembering your tray of food. He stood up and walked over to the desk again, this time noticing that the radio was broken. He stared at it, then turned to look at you. “What did you do?”

“What’d you mean?” you wondered, genuinely confused. He pointed at the radio. “Oh…”

“Does it still work?” he wondered. “What did you do to it?”

You opened your mouth but he whipped around and grabbed your face, pinching your cheeks painfully between his fingers.

“You’re so  _ ungrateful _ ,” he snapped at you. Your eyes widened. “I gave you a fucking home, my love! I gave you a place to live and sleep and things to do! And you fucking break my gifts!”

You quickly began crying again, so he let go of you and backhanded you. You cried out in surprise but stopped crying, shocked that he had hit you. He touched your cheek with a blank face and you winced as his finger brushed a cut where his ringed-finger had met your cheekbone.

“Stop crying. You need to get used to this,” he said angrily. You felt your jaw tremble but you nodded quickly, not talking. “Now tell me what you did to the radio. Be honest.”

“I-I was trying to break the chain,” you admitted fearfully. He glared at you and you cowered. “I’m sorry…”

“You were trying to break your chain?” he clarified. You nodded, looking absolutely terrified. “Why? Why aren’t you happy here?”

He sounded so frustrated, and you trembled, not sure how to answer him. “I-I wanna go home—” you started.

“This  _ is  _ your home,” Patrick cut you off. You sucked in a breath.

“Patrick… I want my bed, my room—”

“This is your bed! Your  _ room _ !” he insisted, his voice going higher in pitch. You could hear his genuine confusion, and it made your confusion even worse. “Y/N, I gave you everything you’ll ever need, why would you wanna leave?”

“Patrick,” you said, not sure what else to say. “I-I don’t love you…”

This made his eyes narrow and yours widened. “Why not? I’m your boyfriend, you’re supposed to love me.” He sat down on the bed again, but this time crawled towards you. You tried to back away from him but he grabbed your leg and pulled you closer to him. “Y/N, stop pretending, I know how you feel about me, because I feel the same! We were made for each other, precious.”

You brought your free leg back, and the kick to the face shut him up. But not as you had thought it would. His head snapped back and he moved back from you, holding his face for a moment to see if there would be blood, and glaring at you when he saw there wasn’t any. “What the fuck, Y/N?” he asked, sounding angry. You stared at him as he grabbed the tray off of the desk. “I’ll see you this weekend, love.”

“This weekend?!” you cried. He just stared at you with such anger and spite. “Y-You mean you won’t be back tomorrow?”

“Nope. Maybe I’ll be back Sunday,” he told you with a heavy sigh. “Maybe.”

“What… I-I mean, what will I eat?” you questioned, terrified. He raised an eyebrow with disinterested eyes. “Patrick, I’m  _ so  _ sorry…”

“You need to learn to respect me,” he explained. You watched with fear as he walked up to you and pulled the water bottle off the tray, handing it to you. “You can refill that in the bathroom sink when you need to. Don’t want you getting dehydrated.” He leaned down and kissed your head. “I’ll see you. Promise.”

He moved away from you with the sandwich on the tray, walking towards the door. As he unlocked and opened it, you sat up.

“Patrick, I’m sorry!” you cried suddenly, anxiety rising in your chest. “Patrick, please, don’t go, stay!”

God how he wanted to. But patience was still a virtue, and he had to train you. Training took all the patience in the world, conditioning took time.

“I love you, Y/N,” he told you one last time before closing the door behind himself and you heard it lock.


	4. Derry

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNINGS: underage sexual intercourse

Three Days.

Three days, he left you alone in the little basement. No food, only the water to tide you over. You tried writing at the desk, but you found that all you could write was a letter to your parents, apologizing for every stupid thing you had ever done, apologizing for every rude thing you had ever said, telling them how much you loved them…

After doing that on day one, you had found yourself practically stuck to the bed, feeling your stomach growl and ache until it was finally too much, and all of your energy left you by the end of the night. You curled up in fetal position in the dark and held your empty belly, and just waited.

And waited.

You stopped drinking water on day two, _hoping_ that it would make you die faster so that you wouldn’t have to live in this hell anymore. You didn’t know when, or even if Patrick was going to come back, and at this point, you hoped you died before he did.

You tossed and turned as your sides began to hurt. Occasionally you would get up to use the bathroom, but that was the only reason you got up. There was nothing to do, no one to talk to…

On day three, having not slept in all those days, you had dark bags under your eyes, and your stomach was caved in from having not eaten. You were shaking horribly, and you couldn’t cry anymore. You were still afraid for Patrick to come back, but now you were starting to pray that he would come back having forgiven you for kicking him. You hoped he still loved you as much as he said he did, or you had no idea what he would do…

But something curious was happening to you, something that you couldn’t explain. Another part of you felt… well… hopeful. You thought maybe things with Patrick _could_ work. God, you couldn’t stop thinking about him, you felt your heart flutter every time you whispered his name under your breath… But you kept shooting that part of you down. It was insane, to think that you might be falling for him, even just a little bit… it was only a little bit...

You heard a noise upstairs and you froze. It was him, you just knew it.

Soon enough, the door handle rattled as it was unlocked, and the door opened. 

“Hello, little princess,” Patrick greeted happily, although there was a twinge of confusion behind his voice. “Why are you laying in the dark?” You could see him move over to the lamp and you winced as he turned it on, sitting up slightly. He stared at you and sighed. “Have you slept, love?”

You shook your head and he shook his, moving towards the door again.

“Wait!” you gasped, sitting up fully and feeling your chain around your ankle as you moved forward. “Please don’t leave me again!”

“I’m just getting you your food, Y/N,” he explained. Although, that was exactly how he wanted you to react. He wanted you to beg him to stay…

Patrick grabbed a tray off the steps, and this time you could see that it was full with some of your favorite foods. You sucked in a breath and watched it carefully as he turned and relocked the basement door, then walked over.

“I knew I had to make up for the last few days,” he told you. “Don’t worry, princess, you’ll get all the love and attention you need tonight…”

He sat down on the bed in front of you and set the tray down. Barely thinking, you grabbed at the first food, eating it as quickly as possible, then grabbing the next. Patrick watched you happily as you ate, not worried that your attention wasn’t on him.

For now.

When the tray was about halfway empty, he reached forward and touched your chin, tilting it up so that you were looking at him. “How’s your food, darling?” he smirked.

He looked so smug, and you swallowed heavily, moving your head away from him. He sighed and rolled his eyes, letting you finish your food before you talked to him.

He moved the finished tray off of the bed and set it on the desk. “What did you do when I was gone?” he wondered. You stared at him for a moment, and with that hesitation he let out an even heavier sigh of frustration. “You want me to stay, don’t you? You don’t know when I’ll come back.”

Realizing that, you took a shaky breath. “How long are you gonna keep me here?” you asked, needing to know that before anything else.

Patrick nibbled at his lower lip and moved even closer to you as he thought of how to answer this. “Well… it depends on how long it takes…” he told you.

“How long what takes?” you countered, confused. He stared at you, deciding whether or not to answer. “Patrick, please, I’ll do anything…”

“It depends on how long it takes for you to accept that you’re mine. Do you accept that you’re mine?” he questioned. It sounded so neutral. There was no hope to it, no desperation. He was just asking, to know.

“I-I don’t… know?” you admitted. “I-I just don’t know you…”

“But we do know each other…. we’ve been together intimately, we’ve shared our _souls_ with each other so erotically… didn’t you feel it, Y/N, the _passion_ ?” he insisted. You hesitated. That was true… you had felt the passion between the two of you... He set his hand on your thigh. “Maybe I just need to show you again… or maybe you need a little _more_ passion… God, we’re gonna fuck like animals tonight, Y/N, it’s gonna be so primitive.”

Patrick stood up suddenly and moved around the room. You watched him pick up the letter you had written to your parents, and start reading it over. He smiled a bit and glanced at you, then folded it up and stuck it in his pocket.

“Why are you taking that?”

He looked at you now and shrugged. “It’s cute. I like little trinkets of yours, and I want to hold you close to me any way I can,” he explained. “Is that all you did? You wrote a goodbye to your parents?”

“I figured I was never leaving…” you pointed out. He sighed and pulled his shirt off suddenly, which made you blush nervously. “What are you doing?”

“Just gettin’ in the mood,” he explained, setting his shirt on the desk. You watched him as he moved over to you. “You look nice with all your clothes off, Y/N….”

You looked down at yourself and blushed. You quickly looked back up at him and he saw your lip tremble. He rolled his eyes and got onto the bed, crawling over you. Your eyes widened, but you didn’t struggle, too scared that he was going to hurt you as he pushed you to lay back on the bed.

“Patrick, I don’t _want_ this. Don’t you understand that?” you tried weakly. “I-I might be able to love you still, even, but you can’t win me over like this…”

“I can win you over any way I please,” he corrected you. You shut your eyes tightly as he started kissing at your neck, and you cried out in surprise when he bit down at your shoulder.

At first it just pinched, but quickly you shrieked as the pain got worse, until he finally let go and moved back, wiping his lips with his forearm. He ignored you as you started crying, and started licking up the blood that was starting to drip down your shoulder.

“Fuck, that’s hot.” He licked his lips and went in to start sucking at your breasts, sucking hard enough on the soft skin to leave marks. You were still crying from the throbbing pain in your shoulder, but now the way his lips and mouth paid attention to your breasts made you squirm a bit. He glanced up at you then took one of your nipples in his mouth, nipping it with his teeth then swirling his tongue around the sensitive skin. You took a shaky breath and let your head fall to the side.

Patrick confused you, and you imagined that that was the goal. He hurt you so badly— your head still ached and stung from hitting the concrete floor a few days ago, and now your shoulder was bleeding and throbbing. And he seemed to enjoy hurting you, he seemed to equate causing you pain to giving you love.

At the same time, he knew how to make you feel good, and you felt him bring his hand down to start touching your dry entrance. He quickly brought his hand back up and licked at his fingers before moving them back down and rubbing at your clit.

This made you grip the bed, and so he did it more rapidly.

“I can make you feel good, Y/N, don’t deny it. You can say I can’t win you over, but I already have… look at you…” he groaned, watching you look at him with heavy lidded eyes. “Fuck, I’m gonna show you how good pain feels… I can’t quite mark you up the way I’d like to, but… you’re gonna fall in love with me tonight _for real_.”

You blinked and watched him reach over to the nightstand. You sat up slightly and he smirked.

“You’ve been in here, I see? Have you used any of these on yourself?” Patrick asked hopefully, pulling out a vibrator wand and some lube. He looked at you as you shook your head, and he pouted. “Too bad… I’m gonna make your clit throb…” He reached behind the nightstand to plug in the vibrator and set the lube next to the lamp. He began taking his pants off, setting the vibrator next to you. “Turn in on and put it on your clit. I wanna watch you.”

You hesitated, then grabbed the vibrator with one hand before holding it with both to look at it. You winced as you moved your shoulder and you lifted your right hand to touch the tender skin.

Truth be told, you were very embarrassed. You didn’t want to mastrubate in front of this boy, who had hurt you, and _starved you for three damn days_. But what choice did you have? If you didn’t do what he said, he would smack you and leave you to starve again for God knows how long…

And again, that other part of you _did_ want to do this. That weird little part of you made you want to feel _so good_ right now, and that part of you felt so much stronger now that he was here, in front of you.

So, with shaking hands, you pressed the vibrator on and looked at him nervously as it began buzzing rapidly. He licked his lips and let his mouth fall open a little, kicking his pants off his ankles along with his boxers, and turning to lay on his stomach in front of you.

You felt so strange laying naked with him. As you hesitated, he reached forward with both hands and spread your thighs apart. You looked down at him bashfully and he bit his lip, growling.

“Fuck, I love the looks you give me,” he hissed. “I’m so fucking lucky. I have the most beautiful woman…” Patrick began kissing your inner thighs and you gasped, feeling the soft, sensitive skin there tremble.

He reached your still dry entrance, and stuck his tongue out to lick the sensitive skin. You gasped and he smirked, starting to suck at your labias and dip his tongue into you. Then the tip of his tongue stuck right onto your clit, and you jolted in surprise. He chuckled darkly and flicked the bundle of nerves a few times, then moved back.

“Use that thing,” he instructed. You looked at the vibrator again before hesitantly bringing it down to your clit. You moaned out and clenched your eyes shut at the intense feeling it caused to your incredibly tender and sensitive nerves. Patrick’s mouth was open in admiration, he was practically drooling. You opened one eye slightly and bit your lip.

“Tell me you love me…”

You didn’t know how to respond, so you looked away as you felt your legs shaking. You brought the vibrator away from your vagina, and looked at him as you felt him sit up and grab the toy from you. He looked so wrecked with lust, and you took a shaky breath that made him pounce forward and kissed you. You felt him press the toy back against your already pulsing clit, and you whined.

“Baby girl, tell me you love me while you cum,” he ordered against your mouth.

Your head fell back in pleasure and you moaned in your throat. “ _Fuck_ , Patrick,” you gasped out sharply. “I-I love…”

He suddenly turned up the vibration to a higher level and you let out a rather guttural sound. He smirked and licked his lips, swearing quietly to himself.

“Do you love how I make you feel?” he questioned, knowing you were going to say ‘I love you’ before he turned up the vibrator anyway. “Do I make you feel better than he did?”

You hated to admit it but he did make you feel better than Reg did… you didn’t know what it was about him, but every time he got sexual with you, you felt so good. Even though he was hurting you, he was causing you such pleasure, and it confused you greatly.

“Talk, bitch,” he snapped at you, reaching one hand up to grab your throat. You gasped in and stared at him fearfully. “Or do I gotta fuck the words outta you?” He grinned and pulled the vibrator off of you, putting it against himself and moaning. “ _Yeah_ , baby, I’m gonna fuck you so hard you’ll be fucking screaming for me. _Begging_ for me…”

He let his head fall back for a moment as he rubbed the vibrator on the head of his penis, then he dropped the toy and reached over for the lube. “Put it on me,” he demanded. “Rub that shit on my cock…”

You trembled nervously, but sat up a little more and took the lube from him, popping the lid open with a timid look on your face. He just stared at you expectantly, so you carefully grabbed his dick.

“Wait, put it in your mouth,” he changed his mind quickly. “Just need to see how good you are.”

He grabbed your head and waited for you to open your mouth. You gulped and did so, your hand still on him to lead his cock into your mouth. He laughed gratefully and pushed himself further into your mouth with a thrust of his skinny hips.

You immediately choked on the length of him, and tried to pull him out of your mouth. “Oh no no no, you’re gonna take it all down, swallow that cock…” he insisted, grabbing your chin and lifting your head so that your throat was straight, then he suddenly yanked himself out of your mouth, and grabbed your hair.

He climbed off the bed, your hair still firmly in his grip, and he yanked you to lay down. You cried out in pain, and quickly maneuvered yourself to lay on your back, your eyes watering nervously. He rolled his eyes and grabbed your head, climbing back on the bed to line himself up as you closed your eyes tightly and opened your mouth.

“Good girl, you’re learning…” he mumbled, bending himself to position himself and stuck his dick into your mouth again. His grip on your hair stayed strong, and he kept your head back so that you were forced to let him push his cock passed your gag reflex.

You choked again and felt saliva pool up in your mouth, making you sputter, and some of it dribbled out around your mouth. Your face turned red and you reached up and grabbed his thighs to try and push him off of you but he didn’t budge.

You kept your eyes shut tightly, as his balls, hot and hairy and moist, were resting right on your nose. Besides, your eyes were watering terribly, tears starting to run down into your ears. Maybe you were crying but you didn’t want to cry in front of Patrick… he would get angry.

“ _Fuck_ yes, swallow it,” he grinned, pushing his dick even further down your throat. You cried out, muffled by his penis, and gagged, your throat automatically beginning to swallow around him. He gasped and his legs trembled. “Oh fuck…”

He quickly pulled himself out, letting go of your hair and letting you turn around onto your stomach to cough and drool onto the ground. You looked up at him worriedly, but he was smiling proudly. “Baby that was amazing,” he told you, coming over and touching your cheek. “That felt amazing, my love, now put that lube on my cock.”

You took a shaky breath, having forgotten the bottle in your hand. You turned the bottle to dribble the lube onto him, and moved to lay back on the bed as he pushed on your shoulders. “H-How should I…?” you started, although you weren’t sure exactly how to ask. “Be… for you?”

“Hands and knees,” he demanded happily. He watched you obediently turn over so that you were facing away from him and kneeling with your hands planted on the bed. You received a firm slap on the ass, making you cry out in surprise, then another that made you try to move away.

“Patrick, that hurts,” you tried nervously.

“I know. Isn’t it so sweet?” Patrick questioned, grinning. He pulled you back with an arm around your waist, and held you there while he smacked your ass until it was as bright red as your face. “God, you gotta fat ass…”

“P-Patr—”

He realized that you were crying, and he frowned. “Stop crying! You should be enjoying this,” he ordered sternly. You quickly tried to stop yourself from crying, bringing your hand up to wipe your eyes. “Good girl… good girl, Y/N, come here…”

He pulled you closer to him and kissed at your back, running his fingers along your skin. You sniffled and waited on your hands and knees for him to stop caressing you.

When he finally did, he moved behind you and you felt him line his penis up to your pussy. You closed your eyes and took a shaky breath, hearing him stroke his lubed up cock before pushing the head in. You heard him groan softly, and you opened your eyes wide and gasped. You fell forward slightly as he thrust in a little more with a deep laugh.

It wasn’t that you _wanted_ it to feel good. But you couldn’t help it. The way he felt inside you was almost… right. No not right, just good, you thought. Nothing about him was right...

He bottomed out, leaning over you and swearing as he picked you back up. You quickly moved back so that you held yourself up with your arms, and felt him grab your shoulders before starting to slam in and out of you.

Your mouth fell open and your eyes shut again. A small moan fell from your lips and you felt one of his hands move to wrap around your throat as he lay his chest on your back.

“I fucking love being this close to you,” he groaned, squeezing at your throat. You gasped and felt your eyes open, and roll back a bit.

God, this felt good. Belch and you never did much other than missionary, usually. It was rare for him to do anything like this with you. Foreplay was non-existent, and you couldn’t count how many times you had had to fake orgasms because he finished too early.

It was hard to think badly of Patrick right now, when he made you feel so good. You hated that, but you couldn’t help but think of how much you wanted to feel good. You were still heartbroken… and Patrick was, sort of, your boyfriend. You couldn’t completely think of him that way, of course, since he had kidnapped you.

You were so very confused, and it made you want to cry. But another thrust into you had you distracted. You gasped for air as he moved his hand from around your throat, and knelt straight upwards. You couldn’t see him, but you quickly felt a hand in your hair, and your head was yanked back.

“I want you to talk dirty,” he demanded, slowing down his thrusts just slightly before starting to speed up again. You grunted and gripped the sheets, feeling his cock head hitting your insides just right, the slide of the long, veiny erection against your tight walls rubbing your just the right way.

“P-Patrick, fuck me,” you found yourself begging… of course, it was mostly because you were afraid of what he might do to you if you didn’t. Of course…

“Yeah baby, talk more to me…. I fuck you so much better than he did, don’t I?” he groaned. “I’m so much better than him in every way, aren’t I?”

You shut your eyes for a moment, then quickly reopened them. “Yes…” you told him,. “You fuck me so good… Patrick fuck me harder, please—”

“Harder? Tell Daddy to fuck you harder,” he hissed. You hesitated, deciding just how much you wanted to degrade yourself for him. “Do it…”

“Daddy, fuck me harder—”

And god did he deliver.

You cried out and felt his hand in your hair tug more as the sound of his balls slapping against your ass echoed around the room. You whined a bit in pure bliss and… god, you couldn’t think. You could barely breathe, the way he was fucking you… and something about the tug on your hair was so nice, in a way. You couldn’t quite explain it, it was just—

With no warning, something hard— the wand, you realized, was pressed against your clit. “Oh God,” you whimpered, anticipating the vibrations and how they would feel already.

“That’s right,” he agreed, although you didn’t know what he was agreeing to. The vibrator turned on and your hips jolted back into him.

“Fuck,” you swore, trying to keep yourself still. Reggie— Belch liked it when you kept still and flexible, so that he could move your body how he wanted without making you do any real work.

“No, fuck no, you grind that ass on me, baby,” he ordered with gritted teeth, his hand tugging back on your hair. “Fuck yourself with my cock.” He stopped thrusting, so you awkwardly started moving your hips up and down to push and pull his erection in and out of you. He licked his lips. “Faster, Y/N, you little slut…. be a little slut, just for me, baby, show me how crazy you are. You know we’re all alone, no one will ever know about this but me…”

You felt your heart skip a beat, and you bit your lip. He was right… if there was any time to be a horny teenage girl, it was far away from any prying eyes or nosy ears. You had always had to stay pretty quiet and slow at Belch’s house, since his Mama was right below him at night…

But why the _fuck_ would you want to have amazing sex with this psycho? You _wanted_ to be unchained, you _wanted_ to go home…. but your hips seemed to roll back on their own, and he let go of your hair to grab your hip.

The vibrator turning up in speed cut off any further thought, and you felt yourself fucking back into him without thought. He tipped his head back and sighed happily, grinning. “Show me how dirty you are, Y/N, come on… just for me, baby,” he begged, feeling you roll your hips back. “Make fucking love to me… and I’ll make you feel good, I promise.”

As he said this, he started rolling the vibrator around on your clit, making your mouth open in a loud moan. You couldn’t help yourself, feeling yourself backing up into him— well, pushing him, into you, rather —without thought.

Fuck it. You couldn’t control yourself, and the little— big —part of you didn’t want to control yourself. You wanted to just let loose and have the best sex of your life right now. If you were to be trapped down here for a while, maybe forever, you might as well try and enjoy it. You might as well play out all the fantasies you had had of Patrick every time you were alone and didn’t want to think of Belch. You might as well go completely crazy.

And besides, if loving him was your only chance to escape being down here for the rest of your life, you thought you should get on that.

“Patrick, _fuck_ ,” you groaned out. “That feels so good…”

“What does?” he wondered, letting go of your hip and switching his hands on the vibrator so that he could lean on his dominant hand. “Tell me…”

“God, _everything,_ I love _everything_ you’re doing to me!” you gasped, rocking back into him as he started thrusting again. “G-Give me that cock…”

“Oh, _fuck, what_?” he grinned, starting to rub the vibrator around on your clit. You whined and shut your eyes tightly. “Say that again?”

“I said, gimme that cock!” you cried as you felt yourself cum around him. He felt the way you tended and pulsed and _squeezed_ him and his eye twitched in pleasure, his grin widening.

Everything behind your eyelids was white right now and it was dulling and brightening and pulsing. You suddenly opened your eyes as you felt your legs start trembling from the intense pleasure. Your eyes kept rolling back and your head tipped back, so he grabbed your hair again. You finally growled, then cried out.

“Oh, _fuck_ !!” you screamed, stopping your movements and letting him make your thighs quake and your pussy pulse. “ _Fuck, Patrick, please, fucking stop_!”

And he nearly did stop the vibrator to fuck the shit out of you, but instead he turned up the vibration on the vibrator up one more. You gasped loudly before shutting your eyes tightly and feeling yourself squirt all over the bed and his cock.

The slickness and the squeeze that he felt made him cum inside of you right then and there, and he finally dropped the vibrator to grab your hips and slam in and out of you a few more times. He shamelessly yelled out of pleasure as he squeezed your ass, and stilled his hips, and let his cock pulse out three days worth of not jacking off into your cunt.

As you both came together, you felt little fireworks in your heart. You and Reg had never cum together… maybe this was something. You hadn’t felt anything like this in your life, and in your teenage mind, this meant something...

You didn’t know that Derry and Patrick had a bond. Patrick could play his dark little games with no consequences, as long as he wanted… for now. That crush you had had on Patrick for so long was no coincidence, the way you thought about him when you touched yourself, the way you felt right now—

Like, _fuck_ , was he fucking sexy…

—those things would all disappear if you stepped out of Derry. Of course, he had kept you in Derry. He had originally thought of keeping you in the basement of the old Neibolt House, but then he had remembered. There was an old fishing cabin he and his father had gone to when he was young. It was deep in the woods, but it was still in Derry, right on the edge.

“I ain’t jacked it in three days babe, shit, this shit’s drippin’ out…” he groaned, happily, watching his cum drip out of you as he started thrusting again. You let him pull you back by your hair, although you cried out in pain. He pulled you until your back was as arched as it could be, then he let you go suddenly, causing you to fall forward onto the bed, your face hitting the pillow.

You closed your eyes and sighed happily. _Happily_. God, that had felt so good. You felt him let go of your hips and you fell heavily to the side. He laughed, even as his limp cock fell out of you. You looked up at him.

Fuck he looked handsome right now… he leaned down to kiss you and you let him, letting him bite your lip and even groaning a bit from it. “Daddy, you look so hot right now,” you told him, feeling almost drunk from your orgasm. “That was amazing…”

Patrick lay down next to you and stroked your hair. “I could feel that…” he told you. “Did you feel that, when we came together? I felt it in my heart, baby, it was so real.” He grinned, laying on his back and covering his eyes with his arm.

You hesitated, wondering if he had really felt that in his heart too. “You felt something?” you wondered. He glanced over at you and you blushed. “Y-Yeah, I did feel that…”

“You did?” he asked happily. You smiled a little and nodded, reaching over and touching his cheek.

You had no idea what was happening. Your body seemed to be moving on it’s own, and you leaned forward to kiss him before you could think better of it. He groaned and grabbed ahold of your face, knowing you were just _falling_ for him right now.

It was like you forgot that you were chained to the wall, like you weren’t in some god-forsaken basement in the middle of nowhere. It just felt so good, kissing him. It felt right, in a way that you couldn’t understand.

“I wanna be yours,” you found yourself saying. “I wanna see the look on his face when he sees that I don’t _need him_ …” You closed your eyes and smiled. He watched you curiously, wondering what else you were going to confess. “Patrick, how long have you liked me?”

“Eighth grade,” he admitted. “How long have you liked me?”

“Sixth grade.” You stared at him and felt his hands grabbing at your body. “What are you doing to me?”

“Making you fall in love,” he guessed. You rolled your eyes but held onto him, smiling.

“I guess,” you agreed. He smiled, and you leaned forward to kiss him again quickly. Patrick forced himself to move back, touching your cheek slightly before getting up out of bed. “Where’re you going?”

The desperation, the worry in your voice. It was to die for. “Getting a cigarette, want one?” he explained and offered as he walked over to his pants, pulling out a pack of Marlboro Menthols and his Zippo lighter. You watched him pull out two cigarettes, then drop the pack on his pants before he climbed back onto the bed next to you.

You took one of the cigarettes as he handed it to you, and you held the little death stick in your fingers carefully. “Never has one of these before,” you told him nervously.

“Really? You oughta start, it’s cool,” he insisted, sticking his own in his mouth and lighting it quickly. He sucked in a little once it was lit, and blew out the smoke in a thin stream. You watched him, then gently stuck the cigarette between your lips and watched him lean over and light it for you. You carefully sucked in, and coughed a bit, but blew out the smoke.

“That’s not so bad,” you admitted. “I could get used to this.”

He smiled, watching you smoke the cigarette like a natural. “You’ve never done this?” he questioned, sounding in disbelief. You shook your head, your cheeks hollowed as you sucked in again. “Bullshit.”

“Really! Reg— Belch never let me even touch a cigarette!” you explained. He tilted his head slightly, smoking his ow. “He never let me do anything…”

“Well trust me, princess, we’re gonna do _everything_ ,” he grinned, blowing the smoke out of his nose. You looked confused, and he got up again, grabbing his cigarette pack and setting them on the nightstand. “I gotta go—”

“What? Why?” you gasped, sitting up.

“My Mama’s home, she likes me home for dinner. I can’t wait for you to meet her,” he said happily. You looked worried and he walked over to you, kissing you quickly.

“You don’t _have_ to go,” you tried. “Just stay….”

“I can’t—”

“Please, Patrick, don’t go,” you pleaded, grabbing him as he started to move again. “I wanna be with you again.”

He growled in his throat and kissed you deeply, grabbing your hair and tugging. You moaned and kissed him back just as deeply, your tongue sliding across his slowly and intimately. You couldn’t help yourself, you wanted him, you wanted him to stay…

You whined when he pulled away from you, and watched him stand up straight. “I got you more food, it’s upstairs. I want you to have something for the rest of the day and tomorrow,” he explained. You hesitantly let him go and he kissed your head, hurrying to the door and opening it, leaving it open as he ran upstairs.

Even though he left the door open, you felt your anxiety spike in your chest and you held the blanket to your chest until he finally came back down the stairs with armfuls of what looked like junk food but god you didn’t care, you were thankful for anything.

“Patrick—” you started, feeling nervous. He set the food down on the desk and looked down at it thoughtfully, his cigarette still between his lips. Remembering yours, you brought it to your lips and sucked in, nervous. Once you blew out the smoke you continued. “How long will you be gone?”

“Till tomorrow,” he said.

“Just till tomorrow? You promise?” you pleaded.

He suddenly turned to face you. “Are you Catholic?” he asked you hopefully.

“What?” you wondered, unsure of why he wanted to know. “I mean I—”

“We’ll be going to Mass every Sunday. And I want you baptized. And we should probably read the Bible together,” he explained excitedly.

“Oh… okay?” you agreed uncertainly.

“It’s important to me that the girl I marry is a devout Catholic,” he told you bluntly. You blinked. “You’ll need to learn to sing the hymns, and maybe you can join the choir so that you can be more involved in the Church!”

He sounded so excited, but you still weren’t sure if he was serious. “Patrick, you go to church?” you asked.

“Every Sunday with my Mom. Or alone,” he agreed. “Once my Mama finds out we’re together, she’ll want you to go to Church with us.” He smiled and hurried over to the desk, pulling out the only book he had left for you-- the Bible. “Here, this was my Bible when I was a kid. I have a newer one now.” As he spoke he handed you the thick, worn Bible.

“Thank you,” you told him, starting to flip through the book curiously. The blank spaces on the sides and top and bottom of the pages were filled with scratchy notes and doodles, all in black pen. There were things written in Latin, upside down crosses, and handwriting that you couldn’t read. It made you hesitate and just stare at the page for a moment, then turn to the next to see what was in store there.

“Y/N,” he said shortly. You looked up at him. “You need to start at the beginning. Here.” He moved over and sat next to you so that you were hip to hip. He took the Bible, opening it to the front page. “Now start reading. I’ll be back tomorrow.”

“You promise, right?” you questioned again nervously. He smiled and leaned over, kissing you. You were ready for a quick, but heated kiss. Instead, he quickly pulled away and stood up. “W-Wait!”

“I gotta go, princess,” he sighed, but let you pull him back to sitting down. “What?”

“Kiss me for real,” you begged. He smirked and leaned over again.

“Do you love me, Y/N?” he asked against your lips. You shivered and opened your eyes to look at him. “Tell me…”

“Yes,” you told him quickly. He raised an eyebrow.

“Yes what? Tell me how you feel,” he insisted, grabbing your shoulders. You trembled and took a breath.

“I love you,” you said softly. He smiled. “I-I love you, Patrick…”

“I love you too, Y/N,” he agreed, leaning forward and giving you a kiss that had your heart exploding into fireworks again. He caught your lower lip between his just right, and pulled on it, and his tongue dipped into your mouth. You smiled against his lips and climbed up into his lap. He laughed against your mouth and tried to pull you off, but he couldn’t stop your hips from rubbing against his. “Fuck. Come on, baby, you know I gotta go.”

“Please,” you tried one more time, giving him a hopeful look. He stared at you blankly, and your heart dropped. You climbed off of him quickly and watched him stand up. “I-I’m sorry…”

“It’s okay. I’d rather you be horny for me than screaming in my face…” he sighed, getting himself dressed quickly and collecting his things. “Keep the cigarettes. I’ll leave you my other lighter.” He reached into his pocket and pulled out a little plastic lighter, setting it on the nightstand with the cigarettes he had left you. “Here, you want some pot?”

You watched him tucked back his hair and pull a joint out from behind his ear. You smiled and took the joint from him as he pulled it out for you, setting it on the nightstand with the cigarettes.

“You promise you’ll be back tomorrow?”

“Six PM, more or less,” he promised. You looked dissatisfied with this answer, but he smiled, and kissed you gently. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my everything…”

You nodded sadly and let him go as he moved towards the door. “I love you!” you called out, wilting as he closed the door and you heard it lock.

You were afraid to be alone, honestly. It terrified you, the thought of being all by yourself. You and Reg had been together forever, and now you just _needed_ Patrick. You couldn’t think of what life was going to be like with him, but you couldn’t imagine a life without him right now. You just wanted him to make you feel good…

You lay back on the bed and closed your eyes. God, all you could see was him. You felt sleep trying to force your eyes closed and you moved the Bible so that you could lay more comfortably on your bed.

What was happening to you?


	5. Carve

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: mutilation

Yesterday had been such a success. You had fallen head over heels more dramatically than Patrick ever could have dreamed. You had told him that you loved him, and he believed that you meant it.

Honestly, the way things were going for him right now was perfect. His mother had been home for a few days and she’d fed him his favorite foods, and the two of them went to Church together, and when they got home he had made her hold him and tell him she was proud… and then she left again.

He loved his mother almost as much as he loved you. His mother had brought him into this… place. She was his life source. And whenever she went away, which was so often, it killed him.

You had been ‘gone’ for about a week now, trapped in the little basement. He had so many plans for you, so much, he planned to test your loyalty, but he already felt like he could bring you home. He was almost sure of that. His plan was simple, and the way you had acted with him yesterday showed that you were ready and be his, only for him. Everything was coming together  _ perfectly _ .

He thought hard as he descended the stairs to your room. Were you maybe lying to him? It almost seemed too good to be true…. you were going to show your true colors for him without question, that was for sure, but he hadn’t expected you to be so… forward and indecent. And so soon... God, if this was all real, you were better than he could have imagined.

Nearer to the door it smelled heavily of pot, and he could hear music playing from the radio. He was glad it still worked, he thought. Patrick opened the door to your room and saw you sitting up in bed, surrounded by snacks. You had some snacks in your hand and you were busy reading the Bible.

You looked up when he cleared his throat, and your face lit up. He  _ loved  _ that, seeing you happy just for him. “Patrick!” you greeted with a giggle, clearly stoned out of your mind. “Come here, I missed you!”

He smirked and walked over to you, giving you a big kiss then starting to walk around the room. “Have you been enjoying your book?” he questioned hopefully, sitting next to you suddenly. You swallowed the bite you had taken and nodded.

“I love it, we should read together some day,” you suggested happily. His face was bright and cheery, and you assumed this meant you were doing well. You wanted to do well for him, so you could get out of this prison and get on with your lives together.

“We’ll read a little every day,” he agreed. Then he looked down. He thought of how he should approach his next test, then he looked at you curiously. “How much do you love me?”

Your smile faltered nervously. “I love you… I dunno, I just… I wanna be with you…” you told him honestly. “I love you more than I ever loved him…”

He smiled lightly, then it fell so that his face was neutral again. “Do you love me enough to never tell a soul about anything? About me keeping you in the basement and doing things I shouldn’t to you…?” he wondered. You hesitated again.

“Yes, of course, Patrick, no one will  _ ever  _ know about this, you have my word,” you promised. He stared at you.

“Good… I’ll need more than your word, though.” Patrick stood up and stared at you.

“I’ll do anything, Patrick,” you told him. He nodded thoughtfully, then pulled out a knife. Your smile completely fell now as he flipped it open, and you stared up at him. “P-Patrick, I don’t understand, did I do something wrong?”

You screamed as he lunged towards you, holding you down so that your left rib cage was exposed to him. He hushed you, and you looked down at him as he started sliding the knife’s flat side across your skin, so softly that it didn’t cut where the blade brushed against the delicate ribs.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, love… I’m rewarding you,” he corrected you. You looked terribly confused, watching him grab the blade of the knife carefully and whimpering as he started cutting into your rib cage. You cried out as he cut deeper, and he growled as you struggled. He lifted the knife so it wouldn’t cut wrong, and he held you down. “Quit moving. You said you’d do anything to prove that you love me.”

You froze and stared down at the bleeding cut on your ribs, then looked away and covered your face, crying lightly from the sting the small cut caused. You didn’t move when he started carving more into your ribs, but  _ God _ did it hurt. After a second you did cry out again from the sheer pain you were in, and Patrick stopped, looking at you as you covered your mouth with a shaking hand.

“Patrick that  _ really  _ hurts,” you told him through tears. He ignored you and went back to mutilating you. You closed your eyes tightly and gripped the bed, trying to stay still as he continued. “ _ Patrick _ .”

“Jesus, I’m only on the  _ T _ ,” he chuckled. You realized that he was writing something on you and you winced again as the knife went in particularly deep. “Come on, baby, you gotta sit through this for me. You gotta get off to this, don’t you think this is hot?”

You risked looking down at your ribs, feeling like you were going to be sick from the amount of blood you saw. You couldn’t even tell what he was writing, there was so much blood….

But that weird little part of you loved that he was doing this to you. Something inside of you gave you the will to lay still and bite your tongue through the pain. It hurt so bad that you felt your brain starting to do something interesting. As the son of Derry carved into your ribs, you felt a sort of sexual, dominant energy pouring off of him. And it attracted you to him even more, so you bit your lip and gripped the bed just a little more.

“Only you can do this to me,” you told him, knowing he would love to hear it. You were starting to catch onto what he liked and disliked. He liked hearing praise, he liked owning you… he liked pain. He loved it, actually, he loved causing it especially.

“Almost there, love,” he told you, sounding deep in concentration. “Then we can go home…” He smiled as you looked up at him in shock. “That’s right… we’re going home.”

“Patrick…” you breathed, feeling a line being cut into a particularly sensitive area of your rib. You shut your eyes and trembled. “Thank you…”

“You’re welcome,” he said honestly. “I know you love me. You’ve more than proved that, princess…” You smiled and tensed up as he cut a curved pattern into you, then some combination of short lines. “There. Beautiful…” You felt his fingers rub across your irritated, bloody skin, then you felt his tongue run along to collect any blood he could. “Amazing…”

“Patr…” you tried, falling silent as he started licking inside the cuts he had left. You winced in pain and looked down, seeing his mouth and lips covered in blood, and a big grin on his face. Your own face paled as you saw that he had written his own name on you. Knowing your skin and how deep he had cut, it was going to scar. You would have PATRICK written on your skin forever...

“Isn’t it lovely….? Now everyone will know who you belong to….” he explained. He licked the knife clean and shut it, moving away from you so that you could carefully sit up. “Now, here’s the deal… you can’t tell anyone what Daddy’s done, right?”

“Right,” you agreed weakly, your new cuts stinging and aching terribly.

“And you can’t get me in trouble,” he added. You nodded. “So we need a wicked good cover story. I want you to listen carefully to me and do exactly what I say, okay?” You blinked but nodded. “Okay, Y/N?”

“Okay, Patrick,” you agreed.

**\---**

Belch was sitting with Vic and Henry on the couch downstairs, trying to focus on the TV playing in front of them. His Mama wasn’t home, no one’s parents seemed to be. He wanted to go out and find you, but his friends had talked him out of going out at night.

Vic was trying so desperately to distract him from thinking of you, he had been all day. Henry had just been along for the ride, giving Vic the reins to help their larger friend out.

“You think Winona’s hot, don’tcha Henry?” Vic spoke up as Winona Ryder came on screen for some news story. Henry grumbled some sort of response, but was focused on the way that Belch was chewing his nails as he watched the movie star on screen.

Vic followed Henry’s gaze, then looked back at Henry with uncertainty. “Hey, Belch,” Henry started.

Belch looked at him worriedly, then cleared his throat, and crossed his arms. “What the fuck are we even doin’?” he snapped. “Why’re we watchin’ this shit when we could be out lookin’ for—”

The phone rang next to Belch, who jumped and picked it up immediately, hoping that it was you.

“Hello?!” he gasped.

“Hey big boy, wanna put Henry on the phone?” Patrick chuckled, although he sounded serious.

Belch was visibly disappointed that it was his weird friend and not you, and he sighed. “Oh… hey, Patrick…” he mumbled. He handed the phone off to Henry, who grabbed it, and leaned on his hand in disappointment.

“What’d ya want?” Henry asked Patrick over the phone.

“Hey buddy,” Patrick greeted cheerfully. Henry stayed silent. “Look, you ain’t gonna like this, but you all gotta get down here, prompto….”

“Yeah, what’s so important?” Henry questioned, sounding bored.

Patrick took a shaky breath, although he smirked, knowing no one would see it through the phone.

“It’s Y/N.”

“Yeah, what about her?” Henry sat up straight and looked at Belch, who looked confused. Vic looked at him and mouthed your name, which made Belch’s face light up as he stood up. “You heard somethin’? Is she back home?”

“She’s using the shower right now, dude, I’m about to go make her a sandwich, you guys need to get your asses down here,” Patrick insisted.

Henry’s eyes widened as his friend spoke. “Alright, Pats, we’ll be right there! Jesus…” he snapped at him. “Why the fuck is she at your place?”

At this, Belch’s face fell and turned red.

“Look, we’ll explain everything when you get here,” he told him. “I don’t know if— hold on, she's out, just get over here!”

Patrick hung up the phone and grinned, watching you walk out of the bathroom in a big fluffy towel. “Hi baby,” he greeted sweetly. You stared at him worriedly, and he stood up from his bed, he grabbed the towel and started drying you up. He had grabbed his mother’s bathrobe, and took it off the bed to put around you.

You held onto the towel and used it to dry your hair a bit while he put the bathrobe on you and tied it around your waist.

You felt weird, being unchained, and free. You were free with him now… that’s what you had wanted right? To be free  _ with him _ ?

“They won’t believe me,” you tried nervously. “They’ll know something’s up…”

“They’ll believe you,” he argued. “They will.”

**\---**

The boys wasted no time in getting to Patrick’s house, and within 15 minutes you heard a knock on the door.

You and Patrick were cuddling against each other on the couch, and you quickly sat up. He stood up, but Belch opened the door before he could even get to it. You saw Henry and Vic close behind him.

“Y/N,” the large boy gasped when he saw that you were really sitting on Patrick’s couch. His heart melted, seeing you on that couch, safe and warm. “Oh thank  _ god _ …” Belch rushed over to the couch and sat down next to you, grabbing your hands. “Y/N, baby—”

“Don’t touch me!” you screamed. He jumped back as you yanked your hands from his grasp and stood up, hurrying over to Patrick, who grabbed you and looked bored. “Why’d you have to call  _ him _ …? He’s the reason I was running away in the first place, Patrick, I-I don’t wanna see him…”

Belch looked so hurt, and as his other two friends moved into the room, they glanced at each other awkwardly.

“Wait, so you ran away?” Vic questioned, closing the door behind himself and leaning back against it. “Where’d you go?”

“Yeah, Y/N you were gone for, like, a week,” Henry spoke up. “We thought you got murdered or somethin’.”

“I-I’m sorry,” you tried, glancing at Belch. He was staring at you hopefully, and you gulped before turning your attention back to Henry. “Really, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make anyone worry…”

“Baby, you were gone for a week,” Belch said worriedly, standing up and walking over to you. You looked up at him angrily and he hesitated. “You gotta be starving, let me take you home so I can make you something to eat…”

“Patrick already got me something,  _ thanks _ ,” you snapped at him, crossing your arms. “What are you even doing here? I thought you’d be with  _ Celine _ .”

He turned red and looked down. “Come on, Y/N, can we go back to my place and talk this out?” he tried. “I don’t even like Celine, it was just one huge mistake, I promise.”

“Oh,  _ it was one huge mistake, _ huh?” you scoffed. “And what about all the other girls you slept with? Margie, Beth, Joyce? Ring any bells, I can go on?!” His face paled and he quickly looked at Patrick, knowing that he had told you. “Why don’t you just go? I don’t want you here.”

“Look, I didn’t  _ sleep _ with any of them, Y/N, it weren’t never like that! Baby, let me at least drive you home,” he offered weakly, but hope still in his tone. “I can explain everything—”

“I’m staying here. My parents still aren’t home anyway, and it’s not like they even knew I was gone, since  _ no one bothered to call the police _ !” you snapped at all of them. Vic and Henry hesitated, then glanced at Belch. “Oh I know. I  _ know  _ you told them not to,  _ Huggins _ , I know you were so afraid of the blame being on you, you risked  _ my _ life by not calling the police. I can’t fucking  _ believe _ how selfish you are!”

Belch was still reeling from you calling him harshly by his last name, and now he felt the blow from you calling him out on being a pussy. “Y/N,” he attempted, although he knew you were right. “Look, you mean everything to me….”

“Don’t,” you stopped him. “Just don’t. I don’t even wanna hear what you have to say.  _ Dick _ .”

Patrick was so proud of you, but he kept a neutral face, even as you turned around, looking like you were about to start sobbing.

“Y/N,  _ please _ ,” Belch tried one last time.

“Just leave me  _ alone _ ,” you said, hiccuping slightly as you really started crying. Belch looked devastated, and reached out for you, but you quickly ran to the bathroom, slamming the door behind yourself and sobbing.

The three boys stared at Belch as his face turned redder and redder, and he looked around at all of them.

“Damn, Belchy!” Patrick finally laughed. The large boy glared at him. “Looks like you lost your girlfriend…  _ again _ !”

“Yeah, no thanks to you,  _ asshole _ ,” Belch spat at him. “You said you wouldn’t tell her about the other girls! You  _ promised _ !”

“She asked! And I figured you guys weren’t together anymore, she seemed pretty done with you,” Patrick shrugged. Belch took one stride forward and grabbed Patrick by his throat, picking him up and dragging him over to the wall quickly. He slammed the boy against the hard basement wall, and got right in his face.

“I coulda had a chance! I woulda never cheated again, she woulda been my one and only girl,” Belch insisted. Patrick gave him an amused look, which enraged him. He brought his fist back and punched Patrick in the face.

“Oh my god!” he heard you cry out. He hadn’t even heard you open the door, but he quickly let go of Patrick. Patrick dropped to his feet but swayed a bit, feeling dizzy from the impact to his face. He knew his nose was broken, but he laughed lightly.

“I’m okay, Y/N,” he told you calmly.

“You’re bleeding,” Vic pointed out awkwardly.

You were already in the bathroom getting toilet paper to plug up his nose. “Hold on, Patrick, sit down on the bed,” you instructed frantically as you hurried over to him, starting to tip his head back and put the toilet paper in his nose to stop up the blood. “Oh god, I’m so sorry.”

“Why are you apologizing for him?” he questioned. He sat down on the bed like you had said, his head still a bit fuzzy from the punch. He  _ loved  _ that feeling.

You tensed up and turned around swiftly, getting up in front of Belch and smacking him hard on the cheek with the flat palm of your dominant hand. You heard Vic gasp and Henry mumble  _ oof _ , and you gave Belch the most hateful glare you could. He looked stunned, the stinging on his now reddened cheek not nearly as painful as the look of pure hatred you were glaring at him. He touched his cheek, and you crossed your arms.

“Now get out,” you ordered. “I’ll explain anything and everything to Henry, and Vic. You can go wait in the car. God, you’re so lucky I don’t  _ fucking _ destroy that thing…”

Belch gulped and nodded, staring at you. He was still so shocked and embarrassed from being slapped by you in front of his friends. And it was making him angry, not at you, but at himself. 

He brushed past you, then Henry. Vic quickly moved from the door to let his friend rush out and hurry to his car.

You looked ready to cry again, and you sat on the bed next to Patrick. Taking a deep breath, you looked over at him and smiled sadly, then looked at Vic and Henry.

“You better explain this shit, Y/N, and it better be a good damn explanation,” Henry snapped. “We went out lookin’ for you! All of us!”

You knew he was going to be furious with the excuse Patrick had come up with. He would be furious with  _ you _ , you had both realized that. And  _ you _ had to take it.

“I was… look, I was here…” you lied. They looked surprised, and Patrick glanced at his friends.

“You were fucking  _ here _ ?!” Vic spat at you. “What the fuck, Patrick?!”

“No, don’t be mad at him! I begged him not to tell,” you continued. “I’m sorry, I just… I wanted to never see Belch again and I made a mistake. I didn’t think you guys would worry so much.”

“Well, we weren’t. You’re a fuckin’ bitch,” Henry lied to you. Vic looked at his friend as he moved closer to you. “Just shows me what a waste’a fuckin’ time you been for Belch…”

“ _ Excuse me? _ ” you scoffed. He looked shocked that you were arguing back. “I was amazing for him,  _ he _ fucked up.”

“Well… you scared the fuck outta him, we all thought you was dead… well…” he growled. Henry looked behind you at Patrick. “What were you doin’ with him all week, huh? Somethin’ doesn’t add up…”

You gulped and looked at Patrick. He still gave you that blank stare, so you looked up at Henry. “Well, I was planning to run away… he was just letting me crash here until I could get out of town… but then… well… W-We’re together now,” you explained. Henry and Vic both looked shocked, and you sat up straight. “Me and Patrick are together.”

“So you guys hooked up?” Vic questioned, sounding almost concerned.

“Yeah,” you agreed, feeling slightly nervous, but thinking that over all your lie was going over smoothly. It was just a white lie, anyway. “We hooked up, and then… well, we decided we liked being together.” 

Henry looked furious. “How can you do that to Belch, Y/N?! He loves you, you got no idea how hard that kid looked for you! He was fuckin’ sick thinking’ you might be dead!” he scolded you.

You expected to feel guilt, but all you did was laugh. You couldn’t say you felt nothing for Belch, he had been your everything for so long… but your mind and heart were blinded by love, by sex, by  _ Patrick. _

“I don’t owe Belch anything. I don’t even owe him an explanation after what he did to me,” you pointed out sternly. Henry looked surprised, but kept glancing back at Patrick.

“I don’t believe you,” he finally said. Your heart jumped, thinking he  _ knew _ … “I can’t see you two together. No fuckin’ way you ran off with Patrick.”

“Yeah, for real, Y/N?” Vic started. “You wouldn’t touch this freak….”

You thought of how to convince them, how you could make them see that you loved him. “We’re together,” you insisted, biting your lip and turning to kiss Patrick deeply. He still had the toilet paper in his nose, but he held it with one hand and kissed you back carefully.

“Alright, I get it,” Henry scoffed. “Fucking  _ gross. _ ”

You pulled away from Patrick, and turned to look at Henry and Vic. “Do you believe me now?” you questioned.

“ _ I _ do,” Vic chuckled. “Shit, you just  _ kissed  _ Patrick! Henry, you see that?!” Henry was glaring at him so he quickly bit his tongue.

“You guys know I got a way with girls,” Patrick pointed out narcissistically, taking the toilet paper out of his broken nose, and setting the bloodied tissue on top of the too full little trash bin next to his bed. Henry rolled his eyes. “I got a way with  _ everybody _ , I can wrap anyone I want around my finger…” You looked at him with an almost hurt look as he wrapped his arm around your shoulder. He smirked and his eyebrow twitched upwards. “Oh come on, baby, you’d do anything for Daddy, wouldn’t you? Wouldn’t you, precious?” He brought his left hand up to touch your chin, and you blushed darkly. “I know you’d do anything fo me, tell me…”

“I’d do anything for you,” you agreed, sounding almost hypnotized as he pulled you closer to him.

Patrick bit his lip and smirked even wider. “See guys, we’re crazy about each other, aren’t we, Y/N?” he pressed. You nodded and giggled as he tucked some hair behind your ear and leaned forward to brush his broken nose against yours. You gasped and moved back.

“Baby, your nose!” you reminded him.

“He can’t feel it…” Henry mumbled. You looked up at him, watching him bite his lip. “I dunno… somethin’s still off… I mean, you’re such a good girl, Y/N, and Patrick’s a monster…”

“In bed,” you added with a little laugh. He blinked and blushed a little, his mouth opening in shock. “Look, maybe I’m not who you thought I was, maybe I’m a little more bad than you thought…” As you said this, Patrick pulled the bathrobe down from your shoulder a bit to look at— and show off to his friends —the beautiful bite mark he had left there.

Both Vic and Henry looked shocked to see the clearly broken, raw, bruised skin, cut into your skin in the shape of Patrick’s bite. “Fuck, Y/N…” Henry said. “What the fuck are you doin’ to yourself… You got no idea what you’re doin’ to yourself, Y/N…”

“Fuck it,” you shrugged. He just shook his head in pure dismay and confusion. “I’m sorry I made him lie… Really, please don’t hate me  _ or _ him…”

Henry and Vic looked at each other for a moment, then Henry looked back at Patrick, then at you again. “Guess I’m just glad you’re safe…” Vic spoke up, looking at Henry for the final word. Henry scoffed again and crossed his arms.

“You did a really shitty thing, Y/N… if you think Belch is gonna take you two bein’ an item lightly…” he started.

“I don’t care what he thinks,” you cut him off. The boys all stared at you. “And you can tell him that. Tell him I don’t care what he thinks, I’m in love with Patrick and he can go fuck himself if he thinks I’m ever getting back together with him.”

Patrick put his arms around you, and Henry shook his head. “Fuck you guys,” he told you, turning to leave. “I’m gonna tell him you said that, and he’s gonna come in here, Patrick, he’s gonna kill you… he’s gonna kill you, Patrick.”

“Let him try,” Patrick smirked. “I’d like to see him get through the realest love there is…”

Vic looked disgusted and Henry rolled his eyes, ordering Vic to follow him. “This is  _ bullshit _ ,” you heard him grumble as they made their way to the car and their other friend.

You looked at Patrick, who smiled wide and proud. “Patrick, they hate me,” you whimpered. “Henry and Vic… I-I don’t want them to hate me…”

“They’ll come around once they get used to the idea of you being mine,” he shrugged. “You’ve been that big hairy idiot’s pet for so long, they’ll have to see just how good we are together.” You agreed softly and hugged him.

The door swung open again suddenly, smacking against the wall so hard that you jumped and turned around and stood up. Patrick held your ass slyly, turning around as well.

“What’s this I hear about you bein’ here this whole time, Y/N?” Belch asked angrily. “And you two bein’ a couple? You can’t be serious!?”

Your mouth fell open and you looked at Patrick, who just shrugged. “Look, it’s none of your business,” you started sternly.

He moved into the room, and you saw Henry and Vic in the doorway. “Oh sure it ain’t! Sure, if our whole lives together ain’t none’a my business!” he growled, walking up to the bed.

You stared at him. God he was so powerful, so handsome… you had forgotten how good looking your ex was. But you just raised an eyebrow and moved closer to Patrick.

“She ain’t none’a your business no more,” Patrick explained calmly. You smiled and watched him stand up. He swayed a little and grinned. “Don’t worry, big guy, I take good care of her.”

Belch looked about ready to punch Patrick in the mouth, in the eye, anywhere he could. He wanted to rearrange that little rat’s face. But you were right there, you knew what he could do… he didn’t want you to see that…

“He takes  _ such _ good care of me,” you agreed, moving between Patrick and Belch. “Belch, you need a reality check: you cheated on me. You hurt me, you made me feel like I’m not worth anything. And Patrick picked me up, and gave me a reason to live again. Go and find Celine, big guy, she really seems to like you.”

Belch looked so frustrated. He kept fixing his hat and he ran his hands through his hair. “Y/N, I love you, this is ridiculous!” he tried. “You can’t throw away our whole lives—”

“ _ You _ threw that all away. You broke my fucking heart, Huggins!” you spat at him. “But I’m better now, and I don’t belong to you anymore. Right, Patrick?”

“Right, babydoll,” your raunchy boyfriend agreed, grabbing at your ass again, this time more openly, and squeezing it. Belch looked so hurt and so pissed at the same time.

“You guys are disgusting, already,” Vic scoffed, crossing his arms and rolling his eyes.

Henry was staring at the two of you suspiciously. “I don’t believe this shit. Really, somethin’s off.” He moved forward near Belch. “I think they’re lyin’...”

“Yeah,” Belch agreed nervously, looking back and forth between you and Patrick. “I mean, you and  _ Patrick _ …?”

“Yeah. Me and Patrick,” you said seriously. He just stared at you suspiciously, like Henry. You rolled your eyes and leaned back against Patrick, letting him wrap his arms around you. “You guys are ridiculous, what are you gonna do? You want us to fuck in front of you?”

“God, fuck no,” Vic said from where he was now seated on the couch. “Guys, look at them, they clearly got somethin’ goin’ on.”

“Yeah, Vic? Or is he forcin’ her into this?” Henry questioned. You glared at him, then grabbed Patrick’s cigarettes off the desk, pulling one out and setting the pack back down as you held the little stick up.

“Baby,” you smiled sweetly. Patrick and Belch both looked at you. “Can I have one? I smoked all mine yesterday.”

“You smoked all of em?” Patrick smirked as you nodded. “Fine, have one, honey…”

“Thank you!” you said happily, leaning over and kissing his cheek. He pulled out his lighter as you stuck the cigarette in your mouth, and lit it for you. You sucked in, feeling the burn in the back of your throat and carefully blowing the smoke out.

You looked at Belch as he started looking angrier and angrier. “Y/N get that outta your mouth,” he demanded shortly.

“ _ No _ ,” you scoffed, not even looking at him. Patrick grabbed you and held your waist so that he could press your bum against his crotch. You cuddled back into him, and Belch growled.

“You sick  _ fuck _ … what’d you do to my girl…?” he hissed. You raised an eyebrow. “Y/N, you  _ don’t  _ smoke. Come on, be smart and put that thing out.”

“What, so you can smoke ‘em but I can’t? Fuck you,” you growled at Belch. Belch licked his teeth and looked back at Henry, then shook his head as he looked back at you. “I’ve been having so much fun this week,  _ without  _ you.”

“Fun how? He been feedin’ you his drugs?” Henry guessed.

“Sure. Sure, yes, I’ve been doing drugs, and having amazing sex. It’s been fun,” you admitted bluntly, starting to wiggle your hips against Patrick slightly. Belch noticed, and his face paled as the realization started to hit him.

“This can’t be happening…” Belch said softly. “This  _ can’t _ be  _ happening _ !  _ Patrick _ , Y/N?! Of everyone you choose  _ Patrick _ to run off with?!”

“So what? What do you even care?” you shrugged. “All my life, I’ve been  _ your _ girl. I’ve done  _ everything _ that  _ you _ want. I’ve been a good little girl for you, and that’s not me! I wanna try things and be  _ me _ .”

“You think this is you?” he pointed out. You raised an eyebrow and sucked on your cigarette. “I don’t like this you…”

“You know what  _ fuck  _ you! I don’t like  _ you _ ,” you snapped at him. He looked saddened by this, his whole body tensing and wilting a bit. “Just go. All of you… I really am sorry for making you worry, Henry.”

Belch looked back at Henry, then looked at you again. “I’m not gonna drop this… I know somethin’s wrong…” he insisted, standing up straight and strong. “Come on, guys.”

He turned and moved towards the door. “Yeah, fuck you guys,” Henry agreed, hitting his friend on the back and snapping at Vic. Vic got up and stared at Patrick, then looked at Henry. “What, Criss?”

“Is Pats still our friend? I mean… after all this?” he wondered. Henry rolled his eyes.

“Yeah, Henry, you ain’t gonna ruin  _ our _ friendship over his girl problems are you?” Patrick grinned. Belch looked ready to kill him, and Henry sighed.

“No… course not, Hockstetter, but look, this was a dick move,” he scolded him. Belch looked at Henry in shock that he was still letting Patrick hang around. “A  _ serious _ dick move. Friends don’t steal their friends’ girls.”

“Roger that,” Patrick agreed cheerfully. “Now if you guys will  _ excuse _ us…”

“Fuck you!” Belch scoffed at him one more time, then the three boys were out the door, going towards the car.

You rubbed at Patrick’s chest, and pouted. “He’s angry,” you teased. He was still grinning and he leaned forward to kiss you gently. “Did I do good?”

“You did  _ amazing _ , girly,” he praised. “You treated him like shit, and I  _ loved  _ every second of it.”

“Well he deserved it,” you pointed out calmly. He licked his lips. “I liked acting like that… it makes me feel powerful…”

“Good… you’re gonna blossom with me,” he told you. “You’re gonna be so happy….”

“I am…” you agreed. “I really am…”

He pet your hair gently and walked over to the bed. “I’m excited to spend the night with you in  _ our _ bed,” he said with a smirk. “Can’t wait to fuck in our bed…”

You blushed and bit your lip, going on your toes to kiss him. He closed his eyes slowly, loving that you had just  _ given into him _ . You were  _ his _ now, you had stood up to your disgusting ex and had said you were  _ in love _ with  _ Patrick _ . God, it couldn’t be real…

“Patrick, I wanna fuck,” you whispered to him, knowing exactly what to say to him to get him going. He bit his lips, eyes still closed. “I want you to have your way with my body….”

It couldn’t be real, it had to be some test laid out for him…. you were too perfect. But  _ God, _ he wasn’t going to turn that down. He was going to give you everything he had tonight. And tomorrow, he was going to spoil you rotten, and get you used to getting everything from him… He still had to condition you a little, after all. He couldn’t put his guard down.

Not yet...


	6. Perfect

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: none

The boys were silent as Belch drove them home, Henry in his passenger-throne and Vic in the backseat. Neither of them needed to ask how he felt, they could see him shaking with rage. Although Vic wouldn’t stop staring at his large friend…

“You got somethin’ to say, say it, Criss,” Belch said through gritted teeth. Vic jumped a little, and quickly looked away. “What, Vic, just say it!”

“Okay, okay, Jesus! I was just gonna say I’m sorry about Y/N, that’s all…” he mumbled the last part as if he were ashamed to have said anything at all, and Belch scoffed.

“There ain’t  _ no way in hell _ she’s with him on her own free will!” he insisted. Now Henry stared at him as well. “It’s all bullshit if you ask me. She’s just… she ain’t herself.”

“Well, duh, you know how girls are around Patrick,” Henry pointed out. “He’s got that weird thing with girls, you know?”

“Yeah, but not my girl… not  _ my girl _ !” Belch snapped. Henry sighed. “Right, Henry? She ain’t his girl, she’s  _ mine _ !”

“I mean… look, bud, I guess it’s up to her, ain’t it? You two can battle it out all you want but if she ain’t gonna be sweet on you no more, and wants to be sweet with Patrick, there ain’t nothin’ I can do about it,” Henry explained, crossing his arms. “But she’s always been your girl… it almost ain’t right…”

“It  _ ain’t _ right!” Belch turned onto Vic’s road as he spoke, and the boys realized that he wanted to be alone tonight. “Sorry… I just…”

“You ain’t gotta explain. Vic, can I crash with you tonight?” Henry questioned, sounding expectant. Vic immediately nodded. “Good. Look, Belch, I know this is shitty, but…. I don’t wanna be hearin’ about this all the time, right? She’s just a girl, there’s plenty’a other cunts in the sea!” He put his hand on his friend’s shoulder and grinned. “You can finally go all the way with another girl! You can take Celine Pertel’s cherry and pop it wide open!”

Belch’s face changed suddenly from anger to shock. “Celine’s a virgin?” he questioned quietly. Henry chuckled and shook his shoulders.

“ _ There _ you go, big guy! Fuck Y/N, she can get high and smoke cigarettes and fuck Patrick—”

“They ain’t fuckin’... there ain’t no way she’d let that greaseball put his dick in her, there ain’t….” he cut his friend off insistently.

“Oh come on, you didn’t see his hand on her ass the whole time?” Vic pointed out, thinking about how nice your ass would feel in his hands. Belch glared at him through the rear view mirror.

“Or the way she was kissin’ his neck…” Henry added, thinking about how nice it would be to have a girl like you to kiss on him the way you do whenever he wanted. Not you, necessarily, any girl would do...

“Look, bud, all Henry’s tryin’a say is… she ain’t yours anymore,” Vic continued bluntly. “You cheat and you get caught, that’s grounds for a  _ major  _ breakup! You’re so lucky she didn’t destroy Amy, dude…”

Belch rubbed the steering wheel of his beloved blue Trans-Am, and sighed. “That’s true…” he admitted. “B-But I… she ain’t mine, you’re sayin’?”

“She ain’t yours, and… maybe that ain't so bad. Now you can fuck so much pussy, and you don’t have to keep it quiet, you can brag to us about it all you want,” his friend encouraged. Belch looked a little saddened by this, and Vic sighed, watching his friend for a moment as he pulled up to his house and parked the car. “I really am sorry, bud, this blows… but again, look at all the girls you can fuck now, Celine, Beth, I know Emily Hamburg has a thing for tall guys—”

“Yeah…” Belch grumbled, now looking straight ahead. “I gotta head home…. night, guys…”

Henry and Vic glanced at each other, then Henry sighed and got out of the car, letting Vic out on his side. “Man up, Belch. I ain’t gonna take this bitchin’ and moanin’ all the time, you better cut this shit out by tomorrow or I’m gonna beat your ass,” his best friend warned. Belch gulped and licked his teeth, nodding.

“Yeah, Henry, sorry…” he agreed quickly. Henry slammed the car door shut and came around to the other side with Vic.

“Have a good night, Belch,” Vic tried carefully. Henry glanced at him, then snapped at Vic to follow him. Vic followed his friend towards his own house, and Belch watched them sadly.

As he drove home, he thought. How was he supposed to tell him Mama? How was he supposed to sleep at night without you? He had barely slept the week you were gone, and now learning that he might never get the chance to hold you at night…

When he got home, he quietly made his way to the basement, got himself drunk, and just tried to imagine what he could possibly do to win you back. He hated being alone… he needed your love, your touch right now, and he knew that there was no way he could have it…

It made him sick to his stomach, thinking that Patrick and you might be touching each other intimately…  _ Patrick _ …? Where the fuck had this come from, you didn’t like  _ Patrick _ !? You knew to stay away from that freak show, you had never shown any interest in him before—

Except you gave him those looks…

He kept thinking of the way you would look at him so sweetly when he talked, the way you would give him your full attention as if he deserved it. Maybe this was really happening…

No… no it couldn’t be…

It couldn’t be….

He barely slept that night. He stayed sitting up on the couch with a big bottle of Jack Daniels, nodding off every so often. He would come to long enough to take a big swig, picture your hate-filled face after you had slapped him, then he would nod back off again.

Finally, around 4AM, he knew he couldn’t get caught by his Mama with liquor, so he snored himself awake and got up from the couch, stumbling up the stairs and up to his room, shutting the door silently and hiding his nearly empty bottle in the closet.

He then lay down on his bed until it was time to pick up Vic and Henry for school.

He barely paid attention, moving on autopilot as he picked up his friends and drove them to school. It was wrong. It was just wrong doing this all without you. You were supposed to be there, in the front seat,  _ not  _ Henry. You were always next to him on the way to school.

“Hey, bud!” Vic said loudly from the backseat. Belch snapped back into the present and slammed on the breaks before he ran a red light. All three boys held on and jolted forward slightly.

“Sorry,” he mumbled, rubbing his face quickly.

“Fuckin’ tryin’a kill us, bud!?” Henry snapped. The light turned green and Belch continued to the parking lot of the school. “You kill us cause you’re thinkin’ about some girl and you’re fuckin’ getting my fist!”

“I’m sorry, Henry,” he told him more seriously. “She ain’t just some girl, she’s  _ my girl… _ ”

“Ain’tcher girl, Belch,” Vic pointed out as they drove into the parking lot. Belch elected to ignore him, with very little patience left for his youngest friend. Fucker was only 14, for God’s sake, what the hell did he know?

He pulled into a parking spot next to a nice black car— Patrick’s dad’s car —and jammed the car into park. “You’re really gonna make me deal with that shithead? After he stole my girlfriend?” he asked Henry, sounding upset. Henry rolled his eyes.

“Course. He’s our friend,” he insisted. Belch looked mildly hurt by this, but Henry got out of the car and Vic followed him out his side. He watched his friends and stayed in the car for a moment after the door closed to watch Patrick come around to the other side of the car to open the passenger side door.

As soon as Patrick opened the door, Belch felt like he was going to be sick. He just couldn’t stomach watching you climb out of  _ his _ car. Not  _ Belch’s  _ car…

He forced himself to get out as you did, and his eyes widened when he really saw you. Your collarbones were absolutely littered with bruises— hickies, he realized —that you kept trying to cover with the collar of your loose shirt. You wouldn’t look at him, turning to get your backpack out of the car and set it on the ground. You closed the car door and immediately went to hang onto Patrick.

“Belchy!” Patrick greeted, oh so happily. Belch tensed up and stared at him. “How’d you sleep, big boy? You look like shit!”

Belch clenched his teeth. “I slept like shit,” he admitted coldly. “Can you two  _ not _ rub this shit in our faces.”

He was, of course, referring to the way Patrick had his hand on your ass and was massaging it and smacking it lightly. And the way you were just about wrapped around him, your lips leaving soft kisses along his jawline.

You truly couldn’t stop touching him. It felt like, when you were close to him like this, you could do anything. You leaned back and looked over your shoulder at Belch lazily. “Rub what in your face?” you questioned innocently. His face turned red and you turned back to Patrick to kiss him.

“Cut it out, Y/N,” Henry demanded, knowing he needed to stand up for his best friend. “Kid’s hurt.”

You didn’t pull away from Patrick’s lips right away, letting him kiss you back and slide his tongue into your mouth. You even slid your own tongue against his and groaned before finally pulling away.

“Y/N, you got a little somethin’ on your chest,” Vic smirked. You looked down at your hickies as Henry elbowed Vic, then looked at Patrick, who was smirking.

“You’re a whore, Y/N,” Henry snapped. You looked at him in shock.

“Because I got another chance at love? While  _ your best friend _ was being the  _ real whore _ ?” you chuckled. He just stared at you. “Whatever, Henry…”

“I’m skippin’ today to go to the mall,” Patrick spoke up with a grin. All three boys looked at him. “Y’all won’t mind if I ain’t around today, would ya?”

“You’re skippin’ without Y/N?” Vic asked, sounding confused.

“I’m getting her  _ presents _ ,” he whispered loudly, kissing your forehead. You giggled and went on your toes to kiss him. “I want what I get to be a surprise. I’ll catch up with you guys after school, kay?”

Patrick saluted Henry, who rolled his eyes and turned, shoving Vic towards the direction of the school. Vic winced but quickly started towards the school, as Henry followed.

“Come on. Belch,” Henry ordered. Belch immediately turned and followed, of course, but God, how he wanted to absolutely  _ crush _ Patrick into the dirt...

You knew that he kept glancing back at you, you knew he saw you and Patrick start making out right in the parking lot, in plain view of everyone.

You knew anyone in the surrounding area was staring at you in shock. You were  _ Belch’s _ girl, you had always been  _ Belch’s girl _ . The rumors about him cheating must have been true then! And you were with Patrick now? What the hell was going on?

You knew those were the questions going through everyone’s heads as they passed and stared. Patrick leaned back against the car and you wrapped your arms over his shoulders, then brought them down so that your hands cupped his jaw.

He brought his hands to do the same to you, one of his hands tucking some of your hair behind your ear. He pulled back and you swooned slightly, starting to play with his slightly greasy hair. “Patrick, you don’t have to spend money on me,” you tried for probably the fifteenth time, unless he’d miscounted. He was pretty blazed, so were you, and you were going on a day without sleeping. Patrick hadn’t slept in days, but that didn’t matter for him.

You were so out of it that you kept trying to kiss him even as he tried to talk to you.

“You look really hot,” he told you, leaning back to show off the obvious boner pushing at the front of his jeans “Don’t be gettin’ any boys attention today… I’ll be here to pick you up at two thirty sharp. You need lunch money?” He reached into his pocket and pulled out his wallet, pulling out a 20 dollar bill and handing it to you. You took it from his hand and he leaned down to kiss you again, but paused. “Thank me, baby…”

“Thank you, Daddy,” you told him with a slight blush. But you bit your lip and moved forward to kiss him. He grabbed at your ass and nibbled at your bottom lip happily, before pulling away.

“Meet me right here,” he instructed.

“Right here. Two thirty sharp,” you reiterated, batting your eyes at him. “You’re sure I can’t come with you?”

“I need to see how you do on your own. I’m a jealous guy, you know, that’s why I needed to mark you up so that people could see you’re taken…” he smirked. “You won’t talk to Belch, right? If he tries to talk to you, you just walk away. That beautiful voice is for my ears only…”

“Yes, Patrick,” you readily agreed. He smiled and rubbed your noses together gently before kissing you. That had you absolutely melting, he was so goddamn sweet. You wrapped your arms over his shoulders and whined when he tried to pull away. “You’re really gonna leave me?”

“I’m testing you,” he explained gleefully. “I’m testing to see how you act without me around. I do business sometimes and I can’t always be here with you…” Patrick watched you open your mouth to question him. “Don’t worry. You’ll come with me sometimes.”

“Business like what?” you wondered. He smirked and kissed your head.

“I gotta make money for you somehow, babygirl,” was all he said. “You’ve got expensive taste…”

“I do?” you wondered, having been very frugal with Belch for 15 years. He  _ never _ went shopping for you except on special occasions like your birthday, where he would get you the sweetest gifts… but it didn’t matter anymore, you  _ hated _ him.

But all that time, you had never expected anything from Belch. You had loved him so much that you didn’t feel like you needed anything other than him. Now you felt that way about Patrick, but he was telling you that you had expensive taste.

“Of course you do, anything I see that I wanna see on you, I’m gonna buy,” he pointed out. “You’re gonna look so fuckin’ hot… I wanna get you fuckin’  _ diamonds _ …”

“Diamonds?” you questioned softly.

“Don’t you think they’re beautiful? Diamonds?” he wondered hopefully. Before you could even answer, his lips were in yours again, and you melted into him happily. “I gotta go…”

“Okay… just promise me you won’t go too overboard,” you insisted. He smirked.

“I’ll do no such thing,” he disagreed happily. “I’m buying a whole store for you.”

“ _ Patrick… _ ” you tried. He just leaned down to kiss you, then pulled back and stared at you.

“I’ll see you right after school, and tonight, you’re giving me a fashion show,” he explained. You smiled softly, and went on your toes to kiss him. He quickly moved away from you. “Go, you’re going to be late…”

“Just kiss me a little more,” you pleaded. He rolled his eyes, but how could he say no to that? So he leaned down once more to make out with you for a moment, until he leaned back to look at you. “ _ More _ , baby…”

“Go to school, lovey,” he instructed. “You’ll get more when you see me tonight.” You pouted, but cuddled against him before reaching for your backpack. “Get good grades and all that shit. And remember—”

“I won’t tell anyone,” you promised him. He smiled. “Everything that happens stays between you and me.”

“Good,” he said. He kissed your head as you settled your backpack on your shoulder, and you smiled up at him. “Stay safe. I’ll be back.”

You nodded and leaned up for one more kiss. “I love you,” you told him. He touched your cheek and brushed some hair behind your ear before moving away to go to the driver’s side of the car.

“I love you, Y/N,” he agreed. You watched him get in the car, then hurried towards the school as he drove off.

\---

As you sat in class, you could feel everyone’s eyes on you. Especially the girls. You knew rumors spread quick, and you suspected that you were going to get a lot of questions from the girls who gave a shit.

Your teachers held you aside after class, asking where you had been all week, and you told each and every one of them the same thing: you had been sick. You were given makeup work and sent on your way with no question.

Belch had always made sure you didn’t get into trouble. So your teachers all trusted you. It was easy in this kind of situation to take advantage of them… easier than you had thought.

Towards the end of the day, at study hall, you sat at a table in the library studying your Bible. Patrick had wanted you to read as much as you could, and you were genuinely enjoying the book.

“Is that the Bible?”

You knew immediately that it was Celine Pertel… you knew it was the very girl who had….  _ Fuck _ you were going to kill her.

“Why?” you snapped. She jumped as you looked up at her, and you saw some of her close friends— Greta Keene and Sally Walker —were close behind her. “Yeah, it is the Bible, can I help you with something?”

“I was just… well… I wanted to apologize,” she started, sounding nervous. You glared at her and stood up.

You felt a sudden burst of nausea from your stomach, and your face paled as you put a hand on your stomach. Whatever, she could screw herself, you just needed to find a bathroom.

Celine cleared her throat and looked back at her friends when you started gathering your things to leave, not saying anything to her. Greta groaned and moved forward next to her friend.

“Are you with Hockstetter now?” she questioned brashly. You raised an eyebrow and looked at her. “I saw the two of you making out in the parking lot this morning, I’m guessing that means you aren’t with Huggins?”

“Who wants to know?” you scoffed, standing up straight and crossing your arms. Greta looked shocked by your attitude, and you rolled your eyes. You seriously felt like you were going to puke, you needed to go  _ now _ . “Yes,  _ Celine _ , you can have Belch Huggins  _ all _ to yourself. He’s  _ so _ into you, trust me… I had no idea about June, I mean  _ congratulations, really! _ ” You stuck your bookmark in your Bible and closed it, sticking it in your backpack and starting to walk away. “Just know: he’s a cheater. If you’re fine with all the other girls, have fun!”

You hurried out of the library angrily and ran right into Belch. He smiled when he realized it was you, until you rolled your eyes and started walking away. “Y/N, wait, I wanted to—” He saw Celine in the library, and paused, staying quiet so that he could follow you. “Y/N, wait!”

You ignored him, rushing down the hall until you reached the bathroom. You hurried in and ran into a stall, dropping down to your knees and grabbing your hair as you threw up into the toilet bowl.

It only took a few seconds for it to stop, but you felt extremely weak as soon as it was over. You sat against the wall and flushed the toilet, wiping your mouth with a shaking hand. You just wanted to go home to Patrick. You didn’t want to be alone without him anymore…

You heard the door to the bathroom open, and you tried to stand up, feeling dizzy. You leaned against the stall again and took a shaky breath. “Y/N, that’s you, right?” you heard Greta ask, sounding almost angry. You groaned softly and grabbed your backpack off the ground. “I’ve called a lotta people ‘sluts’ in my life, but you’re the biggest slut in Derry. You ran off with Patrick Hockstetter before you even broke up with Belch, that’s what I heard.”

“Fuck you,” you scoffed, opening the stall door and walking out to face her. Seeing she was blocking the door, you sighed. “Sure, I left Belch for Patrick. But what I did does  _ not  _ make me a slut. My boyfriend  _ cheated _ on me. As far as I’m concerned, he ended the relationship. It was over the moment I saw his dick in that little whore’s mouth.”

Greta raised an eyebrow. “Yeah sure. Alright, Y/N, you aren’t a slut because of that. You’re a slut because you come to school after being missing for a week, and you’re covered with hickies, and sucking face with Hockstetter. Come on, sweetheart,  _ Hockstetter?  _ You were stooping low with Huggins, but now you’re on the very bottom of the cookie jar, scraping for stale crumbs.”

“Says you! You’d never take the time to know him!” you defended your truly odd boyfriend. Honestly,  _ you _ didn’t even know that much about him, you had barely had the time to. You were in love with him, sure, but all you had seen of him was… scary. You didn’t have many words to defend him. “He’s sweet! He’s out buying me gifts right now, like a good boyfriend! What’s  _ your  _ boyfriend doing, Greta?”

“I don’t—” she started, but cut herself off before she could walk into your trap. “Oh  _ that’s  _ nice, rubbing it in my face that I’m single. What’s gotten into you, I always thought you were sweet, you’re a fucking  _ bitch _ !”

You scoffed and shrugged. “So are you,” you pointed out. She rolled her eyes and you crossed your arms. “You can’t hurt me, honey, I don’t give a shit.”

“Whatever,” she said angrily. “Word’s going around that you’re Hockstetter’s slut now, your reputation’s ruined.”

“What reputation? As Belch’s slut?” you questioned with a laugh. Greta was turning red now as you seemed to counter her every question and mean comment with one of your own.

“Listen here, you stupid bitch,” she snapped at you. But she didn’t know what to say. She knew she couldn’t  _ do _ anything to you without getting that freak Hockstetter on her bad side, and she did  _ not  _ want to deal with that. And everything she said wasn’t working.

“Have a nice day, hun,” you sighed, shoving past her and walking out of the bathroom. She followed you quickly but you both stopped when you saw Belch.

“Leave her alone, Greta,” he ordered. “She’s still off limits, as far as I’m concerned.”

Greta knew that meant that she needed to give up, so she bit her tongue and scoffed, storming off in another direction. You glared after her, then quickly rushed past Belch. You heard him follow you and you sighed, trying to think of where you could go for the rest of the day until your study hall was over.

“Y/N, please, just talk to me. You can’t give up on us, think of how in love we were— we  _ are _ ! I know you still love me, baby, I know we can work this out, just…  _ please _ give me one more chance, I promise it’ll just be you, baby,” he begged behind you.

Gosh, part of you still wanted him, still loved him. He was your big guy, your Reggie… but that part of you was being blocked out. That part of you wasn’t strong enough to turn around and tell him everything. Tell him what had happened to you, beg him for help, let him hold you and make all the scary things go away…

But the fog that blinded you made you keep your promise to Patrick. You had his name stinging on your ribs, your promise to be committed to him and only him forever. You had promised that your voice was only for him, that you wouldn’t speak to Belch. And you were going to keep that promise.

So you continued walking away from him until you were walking out of the school. You heard him, then saw him run ahead of you and he blocked your immediate path. You tried to go around him, but he moved to block you, doing the same when you went to move the other way. You rolled your eyes and gave him an annoyed glare.

“Y/N,” he tried. “Please, just talk to me… I’m  _ really  _ sorry… I know I’m a cheater, and a liar, a-and I don’t deserve your love, but I know still have feelings for each other. I know we were meant to be together, please just give me one more chance…?”

You didn’t move, then turned around and started to walk back into the school to your locker. He followed you all the way there, still begging as you got your things out and stuffed them in your backpack.

“Y/N—” he started, grabbing your shoulders and turning you around to him. You opened your mouth in shock and recoiled away from him. You wanted to scream at him to never put his hands on you again, but you  _ had _ to keep your promise to Patrick.

You slammed and locked your locker shut and started hurrying back out of the building, almost jogging to get away from him. He eventually got the hint, especially when he saw Patrick waiting for you in the parking lot. When you glanced back at him he had stopped and was just staring after you.

You ran up to Patrick and jumped into his arms, grinning when he lifted you up. “My  _ princess _ !” he greeted. “You’re early, lovely, are you alright? Was he following you? Did you talk to him?”

“I didn’t say a word. He’s been following me for an  _ hour  _ at least,” you told him, exaggerating the time a bit. “But I didn’t let him hear my voice, babe, that’s only for you…”

“Only for me,” he agreed, touching his still broken nose to yours before kissing you lightly. You swooned and let one leg go up in excitement that he was  _ back _ , he was  _ here _ in front of you. And in the backseat you could see bags and bags of clothes, and shoes, and accessories, bags on the backseats, bags on the floor of the backseat.

“Holy shit, baby,” you gasped, looking over his shoulder to try and see what he had gotten you.

“Uh uh uh, not yet,” he grinned, pulling you closer to him. “Not yet, lovey, you can see everything when we get home.” He brushed his finger along your cheek and started kissing you deeply.

Going  _ home _ with him. Every _ day _ . It made your heart do little summersaults of joy, it made your stomach burst with fireworks. You kissed at his cheek a few times and hugged him with your arms over his shoulders.

Things couldn’t have been more perfect, Patrick thought, and you were thinking the same thing. For different reasons, of course. Patrick was happy that there hadn’t been cops at the school when he’d shown up, ready to arrest him. You hadn’t talked to anyone about what had happened to you, and you hadn’t talked to Belch at all. He was going to make you tell him every detail about your day once you both got home, so he would find out exactly what he had missed. It was absolutely perfect.

You didn’t know why things couldn’t have been more perfect for you. You  _ knew _ , in reality, that  _ nothing _ about this situation was perfect. Belch had cheated, you’d been kidnapped—! But you’d fallen in love… that’s what you thought anyway. That’s what you kept telling yourself, and that’s what you were seeing.

You didn’t really understand what had changed in you, but everything about Patrick was  _ perfect _ . You could picture a whole life with him, from now until marriage and then a family… God, he was just so precious, and caring for you. He could be a little strict sometimes, what with making sure you weren’t talking to any boys, and him wanting you to read the Bible and attend Mass and do those things more diligently than most people usually would…

But you didn’t mind the strictness. Reggie— Belch had been relaxed with you, letting you do what  _ you _ wanted all the time, instead of telling you what he wanted  _ from  _ you. You figured that must have been the reason he had cheated, because he was bored of you and uninterested in the way  _ you _ were.

Patrick insisted that he was going to make you blossom, that you would be more  _ you _ than you ever had been. And that you would be so happy… you hoped that you could live up to his expectations. You had decided you would do anything for him… you were going to keep this one, and you would never let him go, no matter what.

“You two still makin’ out up here?!” you heard Henry scoff from afar. Patrick moved back and sighed, touching your forehead to his before moving you to his side. You turned towards them and saw Vic hurrying behind Henry up the hill to the parking lot, and Belch a ways downhill looking anxious.

“Hey, Hank,” Patrick greeted his friend. “Did you miss me?”

“Fuck off. Y/N, Belch says you— Belch, get the  _ fuck  _ up here!” he screamed at his larger friend. Belch looked worried still, but obeyed and started climbing the hill. Once he was by Henry’s side, now across from you leaning against Belch’s car, Henry cleared his throat. “You ain’t talkin’a him, Y/N? Really? How immature can you get?”

“I’m sorry, I’m not wasting my breath on him,” you told Henry. Belch looked hurt that you would speak to Henry, and by what you said. “If he thinks I’m going to— look, I gave  _ everything  _ to this asshole for  _ 15 _ years! I thought I was getting love in return, but turns out the love for other women was his priority, not me… all those nights he wanted ‘just with the boys’... and I would stay up and clean the house and get his breakfast ready when he came back the next morning… all those nights were with other girls, weren’t they, Henry?”

Henry raised an eyebrow. “Y/N. Talk to Belch about this shit,  _ not me _ ,” he demanded. You licked your lips and shook your head. “You cold hearted bitch, you—”

“Hey!” Patrick barked. It made everyone start, and you looked up at him. “Don’t you call my girl names like that, Henry. You’d’a never called her that when she was with  _ him _ , what gives you the right to call my girl names?”

Your eyes were wide, and you almost felt like crying. He was standing up for you…? To  _ Henry _ ? Belch would never have stood up to Henry for you. And you would have taken that. What a waste of energy he was. Patrick may have been shorter and thinner, but he was so much stronger and braver than Belch would ever be. He had risked everything to get you, and he was risking his friendship to stand up for you. He was perfect….

Henry looked mildly shocked that Patrick had snapped at him.  _ Him _ . Was he crazy? Henry thought he should beat his punk ass for standing up to him. But he also had to consider this… Patrick knew too much, and besides, he had a point. And Belch certainly wouldn’t have stood up for you like this… maybe Hockstetter was more man than he thought… he wasn’t willing to lose him as a friend over you, for these reasons, so he cleared his throat.

“Don’t you snap at me, Hockstetter,” he demanded. Patrick licked his teeth. “But fair enough, kid. Sorry, Y/N.” You smiled and nodded, having not expected an apology from Henry. Sure, it sounded bored and unconvincing, but at least he had said it. “But listen. I think you and Belch should talk, Y/N, just talk to him, for closure and shit. I can’t take hearin’ about this shit anymore, just talk and let him move on.”

You looked at Patrick for a second, then shook your head. “I’m not talking to him. I’m sorry, Henry, but he’ll have to move on on his own. I did.” You went up on your toes and kissed at Patrick’s cheek again.

He looked very proud of you, catching your lips with his as his friends looked on in annoyance. “That’s right,” he agreed. “You’ll be fine, won’t you, bud?” He looked at Belch as he wrapped his arms around you, and you hugged him.

Belch stared at you for a moment, looking heartbroken. You caught his eye just for a second, seeing his desperation and sadness, and you hesitated.

This was the boy you had spent your life with— the boy you had always imagined spending your life with. He wasn’t perfect, but he was kind to you, and had never hurt you the way Patrick already had… a little part of you wanted to take it all back, to run to him, hug him and kiss him and tell him you needed him…

But that part of you was small. That part of you was shadowed by the person who had fallen for Patrick’s wicked ways, his evil charm and his expectation that you would be obedient to him and only him…

“We’ll see you guys tomorrow, I got some clothes to try on,” you stated excitedly, looking up at your wonderful, terrible boyfriend and holding his hand as he kissed you once again.

“Fine. Whatever,” Henry agreed, slapping Belch on the back apologetically before moving to the passenger side of Belch’s car. Vic immediately followed him as they both got in the car, and Belch stood watching Patrick walk you to the passenger side of his Dad’s car.

Patrick opened the door for you and you touched your nose to his before getting in. “Can we fuck tonight?” you asked hopefully, keeping your voice soft although you knew Belch heard you. Patrick grinned.

“Baby, we can fuck whenever you want,” he told you sweetly, pressing his lips to yours and holding your waist before letting you go and get into the car. He looked up at Belch, who was watching with an expression of mixed feelings— all negative, Patrick assumed.

He didn’t have anything against Belch, really. Not at all. The kid was an idiot, sure, and he’d been keeping you to himself all these years, but he did what he was told, and Patrick thought it was funny when he lived up to his nickname.

Patrick  _ knew _ that  _ he _ was Henry’s second in command. Not Belch, Belch was just his muscle. Not even Vic, who Henry went to for ideas and advice, was as important as Patrick. No, Patrick was more important to Henry than either of them, that was why Henry was letting this all happen. It made him swell up with pride as he sauntered over to Belch.

“See ya later, big fella,” he taunted him. Belch’s eyes narrowed slightly as Patrick touched his shoulder. “Hey, no hard feelings, right? And look, since she’ll be around with us all the time still, I know it might be a little awkward, but don’t worry. She’s happy with me, and that’s all that matters, yeah?” He winked at his ‘friend’ and went to the driver’s side of the black car, opening the door, getting in, and shutting it behind him.

Belch heard his car horn honk, and he jumped, turning to see Henry waiting impatiently in his car. He looked back at Patrick’s car just for a moment, almost immediately looking away when he saw that they two of you were sucking face. He turned and got into the driver’s seat, slamming the door.

“Suck it up, buttercup,” Henry snapped at him. “She’s just some girl. Who cares if she’s sucking Hockstetter’s dick? Now drive us home.”

Belch, of course, obeyed his master, and started the car without another word, watching Patrick back out of the spot next to him and drive away with you. It was horrifying, heartbreaking, mortifying. Seeing you with another boy so soon… it felt like you had never even loved him…

But Henry has ordered him to suck it up. And as he drove the boys to his house to hang out, he knew that he was going to have to treat you like  _ just some girl _ … 

Not like the love of his life…


	7. Miracle

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: domestic abuse, solipsism, body shaming

Patrick loved watching you while you slept. As you lay so peacefully on his bed, he watched your chest rise and fall, your stomach moving with each breath as well.

You had gotten through trying on about two of the outfits that he had bought for you before he had pulled you to the bed and fucked your brains out. There would be more time to try on clothes some other time, he just couldn’t help himself watching you change...

God, he had so many plans for you…

He knew now that he had made the right choice letting you come home with him. You had left your retarded ex boyfriend even more heartbroken than he had left you, and you had shown him that you weren’t as sweet as you appeared.

Patrick always knew that deep down you were like him. That’s why he was so attracted to you, really, you were just like him. Even though you didn’t know it… but he knew he could pull it out of you, he could get rid of all the parts he didn’t quite like about you, and he could pull out the cold-heartedness, the carelessness, the lust. He didn’t need to do much to elicit lust from you, he knew that, now he just needed you to embrace what you truly were.

He watched you throughout the night, getting up and moving about his room after a while, smoked a bowl around midnight, going upstairs to get food and to walk around the house, then laying on the bed and watching you again once the high started hitting.

It must have been the way he got on the bed, but you stirred, your eyes blinking open to look at him. He gave you a lazy smile which you returned with a slight yawn.

“What time is it, Patrick?” you whispered.

“Early. Maybe 3,” he explained just as quietly. You sighed happily and closed your eyes again. “Don’t go back to sleep, you need to try on the rest of your clothes.”

You groaned and rubbed your eyes. “At three in the morning?” you sighed. He nodded. “Patrick, you should go to sleep, we haven’t slept in days….”

“Who needs sleep anyway?” he scoffed. He got up off the bed and went over to the bags and bags of clothes and gifts for you, pulling out a short little dress. “We’ll have to go through your closet and get rid of anything I don’t like…”

You hesitated, then looked at him as he smiled. “Anything  _ you  _ don’t like?” you questioned, slightly defensive. “My wardrobe isn’t for you…”

“Isn’t it?” he grinned, dropping the dress back into the bag he had gotten it from. “I thought you’d want me to like the clothes you wear…. and the past few years, your clothes have been less than… hot.”

“Hey!” you scoffed, turning over so that your back was facing him.

“You should get a haircut too, and style it differently,” he added.

“Anything else?” you sighed and turned to glance at him angrily. “Want me to dye my skin green and start speaking in tongues too?”

“No. This isn’t a joke to me,” he warned you carefully. You frowned and turned to face him again. “You were everything  _ he _ wanted you to be, now you should be everything  _ I  _ want you to be. Simple as that.” You stared at him angrily, not even sure what to say. “You love me, don’t you? You should wanna make me happy…”

“I do! But I’m not gonna change myself for you,” you pressed, sitting up slightly. He walked over to you again, grabbing your chin and starting to turn your head as he studied you. “What the fuck are you doing?”

“You’d look cuter if you gained a few pounds… I mean no wonder he cheated on you, Y/N, you’re nothing like yourself,” he insisted, letting go of you and patting your cheek. You froze and stared at him. “You’re lucky I came along to fix you when I did…”

“No wonder he cheated on me?” you repeated quietly. You felt tears well up in your eyes and he rolled his own impatiently.

“Yeah, I would have left you too, the state you’re in,” he admitted. You had no idea how to respond to his blunt, hurtful words. “Up, try on your clothes.” He took your hands and pulled you off the bed. “And stop crying, you know I hate that shit.”

You quickly wiped your eyes as he switched places with you and sat on the bed to watch you pull the dress out of the bag. You picked your bra up off the floor and quickly put it on before putting on the dress. “It’s a little big…” you pointed out as you looked down at yourself.

“You’ll be putting on some weight, so that’s okay,” he shrugged. You stared at him. “We can wait to try them on until then, that would make more sense.”

“I don’t understand,” you admitted, pulling the too-big dress over your head again and tossing it back in the bag. “If you want a girl who’s bigger than I am, why wouldn’t you just date a girl who’s bigger?”

“Because I want  _ you.  _ I want  _ you _ to be bigger— healthy! I want you to be  _ healthy _ ,” he explained. He stood up and pulled you back towards the bed. “It won’t be so bad, we’ll just have to change your diet up a bit—”

“I’m  _ fine _ the way I am,” you defended yourself, feeling really hurt that he was expecting you to do this. His eyes narrowed.

“You wanna be my perfect girl don’t you? You want me to be happy, right?” he asked. You hesitated, then nodded. “Then you’ll do this for me.” Before you could respond, he pushed you to sit on the bed. “Let’s read the Bible. You need to let the word of God seep into your veins, you need something productive to focus on.”

He turned, leaving you to quickly keep yourself from crying as he grabbed his Bible from the desk, and the one he had given you. He handed you yours, and sat next to you again.

“You really think I’m too skinny?” you wondered self-consciously.

The truth was, you were perfect just the way you were. You didn’t need to change a thing about yourself. But you had always been rather nervous about what others thought of you, and hearing your  _ boyfriend  _ degrade you so coldly, it made it feel all the more real.

“Like skin and bone,” he agreed shortly. “Let’s start where you are. Read out loud to me.”

“What?” you questioned, laughing slightly in surprise. He blinked and tilted his head. You hesitated, and wiped your eyes. He was right, you needed a distraction. You could fix yourself, but that would take time. Thinking about yourself too much, you tried to focus on the words the book said, then looked back at him. “W-Why do we have to read aloud?”

“I love to hear you speak to me… and you’ll learn it better if you read it out loud,” he said happily. You hesitated and looked down at the book, clearing your voice and beginning to read.

He watched you for a few minutes, sensing your self-consciousness and  _ drinking it in _ . He thrived on negative emotions like that, how else would he get you to be exactly what he wanted?

Over the next week, you read the Bible out loud with Patrick every night. Then, after an hour or so, he would set the book down and talk about his favorite parts of the reading, and he would teach you the things he wanted you to remember.

Just like he had said, you went to Mass on Sunday morning, and he even went out and bought you a Sunday dress to wear. After Mass, the two of you stayed around and prayed, Patrick insisting on staying for an hour to kneel and focus on God.

He introduced you to the priest, who gave you a new Bible to read from, and welcomed you happily to the Church.

After starting to learn about the faith and the community, you began to look forward to your time reading with him, and even started reading ahead on your own so that you could join in on the discussion with him.

You brought your Bible to school with you so that you could study it in the library and in class. You liked going back and reading your favorite psalms and verses when you felt that you needed to get your mind off of school, and off of your body…

He had been practically force feeding you since telling you that you were too thin. Every chance he got to stuff food in your mouth, he took, and it was definitely making you feel sick and bloated…. but you dealt with it, knowing that it would make him happy...

It didn’t take long for Belch to notice you reading from the book all the time, and your new clothes, which looked like nothing you had ever worn before, short and skimpy and clearly Patrick’s preference, and to notice your stomach getting a little more round.

He was worried about you, and he wondered what it was that had caught your interest so much, and why you needed to carry that big book around with you, and why you were getting a bit bigger.

As you sat in the library, reading a lovely psalm, you felt a presence behind you. At first you thought it was Patrick, but you quickly realized as you looked back that it was your cheating ex-boyfriend.

“Oh…” you said coldly, looking back at the Bible.

“Whatcha lookin’ at?” he wondered, pulling out the chair next to you and sitting down. You glared at him. “I never seen that book before, did Patrick give it to you?”

You didn’t respond, still keeping your promise to Patrick to keep your mouth shut around Belch. He gulped and looked around. He didn’t understand why you couldn’t just talk to him. He wanted to hear your voice and know that you were okay. 

“I just miss you,” he admitted honestly. “I wanted to see you and know how you’re doin’...”

When he got no answer he shook his head and moved closer to you. “Y/N, look, I know I fucked up. And… and you ain’t gotta forgive me… you don’t gotta get back together with me, or make me feel better, or none’a that, I know you ain’t gonna do that…” You hesitated and glanced at him. “It’s just…. I loved you… I  _ love _ you!” Belch whispered urgently.

“Go fuck yourself,” you snapped at him suddenly, picking up your Bible and your backpack and hurrying out of the library.

You hurried over to your locker, seeing that Patrick was waiting for you, and you smiled happily, rushing over to him.

Patrick looked confused, so you turned around and saw Belch coming down the hall after you. You rolled your eyes and turned to Patrick, taking his hand. “He won’t leave me alone,” you whispered as Belch moved closer.

“Don’t worry baby, I’ll handle this,” Patrick tried. But as Belch stopped behind you again, you turned to him and glared.

“I just want you to be okay, Y/N, I’m worried about you,” Belch told you hopefully. “You still mean the world to me— more than the world, you’re my entire universe, Y/N. I fucked up—”

“Yeah, you did,” Patrick spoke up. Belch glared at him.

“Why don’t you shut your fuckin’ mouth? Why don’t you let  _ her  _ tell me?” he insisted. “You don’t even know her, she’s nothin’ like she’s pretendin’ to be—”

“You know what?!,” you cut him off angrily. Belch looked at you, surprised when he realized that you were addressing him. “You did fuck up, Huggins, and you lost me for good, do you understand? I  _ love  _ Patrick. I love everything about him, I love his personality, his smile, the quirky little things he does….” Remembering that Patrick was behind you still, you turned to him and smiled softly, taking his hands. “You taught me how to live, and be free, and be grateful for the things I have and I’m given. I wouldn’t be myself if it weren’t for you, my love…”

Patrick’s heart was jumping, and he smiled slightly. But he couldn’t pinpoint his feeling as joy, not quite.

Patrick didn’t  _ feel _ joy, he didn’t  _ smile _ . But  _ you  _ could make him somewhat feel and do those things. You were absolutely perfect, and now, it seemed that you were truly confessing your love to him. Your shining hair, your soft lips, your rounded belly, you looked like a princess, a queen. His queen.

“I wouldn’t be me without you, Y/N,” he agreed gently, letting go of one of your hands to tuck some of your hair behind your ear. “I love you.”

“I love you, Patrick,” you told him. You felt yourself truly falling in love with him a little more every day. Your forced promise to be devoted to him and only him, becoming a bit less forced and more natural and true with every passing moment. “I can’t wait to spend forever with you…”

Patrick couldn’t have been more happy. Well, again, not  _ happy.  _ He had never thought your love would feel this… good, though. He didn’t really grasp emotion, but he knew that this was good, this was a good feeling, like a drug, and he needed it more and more, he needed it every day and every second.

And now, you had implied that he would have your heart, your body, your love until the end of days. He knew you meant it to, the way you smiled genuinely and looked him deeply in the eyes. The way your thumb brushed against his hand and your free hand rested on his chest.

Patrick was a force to be reckoned with, he was evil and twisted. He had kidnapped you, and locked you away, and starved you, and hurt you. He had told you you weren’t good enough, and had forced you to eat much more than you were comfortable with. But he was in love with you. You knew he was, he had to be. He truly wanted your heart for the rest of your lives, and you were so willing to give it to him.

You wanted his love as much as he wanted yours, and you knew that he would always love you, no matter what, no matter if he was causing you pain and distress. His heart was dedicated to yours, and God, you knew yours was to his.

You went up on your toes and kissed him, moving back just slightly, then gripping his chest slightly and kissing him more deeply.

“So…”

You groaned and turned as Belch spoke. You just wanted to be alone with Patrick, maybe sneak out and have a cigarette and some pot. You didn’t want to waste another second focusing on the cheater standing in front of you.

“Go. Now. Leave us alone, you  _ jerk, _ ” you ordered. Belch looked so hurt, but he nodded and glanced at Patrick before storming off. You sighed with relief and turned back to your love, smiling brightly and twisting yourself back and forth happily. “Wanna go smoke? I’m dying for a cigarette.”

The corner of Patrick’s mouth twitched into a smile, and you couldn’t help but lean up again and press your lips together. Your lips locked together and you hummed, sliding your tongue into his mouth and feeling his warm, wet muscle start wrestling yours. His won, of course, and he turned you around so that your back hit the lockers, and you gasped as his mouth moved furiously against yours.

Then he pulled you back from the lockers and pulled your body against his. “Did you mean that?” he asked hopefully. You raised an eyebrow. “That you wanna be with me forever?”

“Of course,” you agreed happily, giving him the most adoring look. “I want to spend every minute of every day for the rest of my life with you…”

“Good… just one thing…” he said, clearing his throat and pushing you back against the lockers. You smiled hesitantly, then gasped as he smacked you across the face. You felt tears well up in your eyes and you shrunk into yourself fearfully, nausea rising into your throat.

“What was that for?” you whimpered, holding your stinging cheek.

“You talked to him,” he reminded you. Your eyes widened a bit, but you were starting to get distracted by how sick you felt. “You talked to him, and I told you not to. How am I supposed to trust you if you can’t even do what I say?”

“I-I just—” you started, watching him raise an eyebrow expectantly and cross his arms. You gagged and he narrowed his eyes. You gulped heavily and took a shaky breath before trying to explain. “He needed to hear what I had to say, a-and you were right here—!”

“There isn’t an excuse,” he cut you off. You felt tears run down your cheeks, and you quickly wiped them as if he couldn’t see. “I hope you understand. I trusted you not to talk to him. And you did it right in front of me. How can I trust to leave you alone?”

“I won’t ever do it again, Patrick, I’m so sorry,” you pleaded, terrified that he was going to bring you back to that horrible little room he had locked you in. And God, did you feel sick… “Patrick, please—”

“At this point, I guess you can talk to him,” he granted you, pointing at himself. “But only if I’m here. If I’m not around, you don’t make a sound.”

“I understand,” you agreed softly. “I’m sorry…”

He touched your cheek and sighed. “Poor little thing… let’s get you a cigarette,” he suggested, starting to lead you outside. You nodded, then hesitated. “What?”

“I think I’m gonna be sick…” you admitted weakly, holding your stomach.

“Why?” he asked, sounding uninterested. You gagged again and covered your mouth, trying to pull away from him. “Y/N, what the fuck—?”

“Patrick, I need to get to the bathroom,” you cut him off quickly, yanking yourself away from him and running down the hall to the Girl’s bathroom.

He watched you angrily for a moment, starting to follow you. He paused outside the bathroom door, and tilted his head as he thought. “Y/N?” he called, walking into the Girl’s bathroom without hesitation.

He could see you on the floor, and he could hear you vomiting into the toilet. It didn’t gross him out or anything like that, on the contrary, he started getting excited. He heard you whimper and he stood outside the stall door.

“Y/N.”

“I-I’m sorry, I just…” you started, before throwing up again.

He started grinning and leaned against the bathroom stall door. “Y/N, why are you sick?” he questioned.

As soon as you felt the nausea start to subside, you wiped your mouth with toilet paper and threw it in the bowl before flushing. You stood up shakily and turned to open the door, facing him as he stood up straight.

“I’m sorry… I-I keep getting sick, lately… I think it’s all the food,” you admitted. “I’m sorry, Patrick…”

“Rinse your mouth,” he ordered. You went over to the sink obediently and rinsed your mouth with water from the faucet, spitting it out and rinsing again. “Are you pregnant?”

You spit out the water again before you could choke, and you looked at him. “No!” you quickly denied, horrified. You walked over to him. “No, I-I think it’s just all the food you’ve been making me eat…”

“Are you sure? Have you gotten your period lately?” he pointed out. You stood still, staring up at him. “I haven’t seen you get your period, I woulda fucked that already…”

“I-I dunno,” you admitted. “I-I mean… I dunno, Patrick, I can’t be pregnant, there’s no way—”

“I cum inside you,” he pointed out, smirking. “And you stopped taking the pill.” Again, you just stared at him. “You’re pregnant, Y/N.”

As that thought started overtaking your mind, you just stood still, staring at him as he tilted his head again with a grin. It couldn’t be… it was anything but  _ that _ …  _ it had to be anything but that… _

“We’re gonna be parents, Y/N,” he said, sounding gleeful.

“No, no,” you insisted, your eyes widening suddenly. “No, I-I can’t be— w-we aren’t ready for that—”

“Let’s go home, we need to take a pregnancy test,” he demanded. You looked terrified, which he ignored as he grabbed your hand and dragged you to your locker to get your things. “We’ll stop at the Pharmacy on the way home and get one.”

He waited for you to get your things, which you did slowly, as you were deep in thought. Why wasn’t he mad? Why wasn’t he freaking out? You couldn’t be pregnant, you  _ couldn’t _ !

“Patrick—”

“Come on, baby,” he snapped, grabbing your backpack as you finished gathering your books and homework. “Hurry it up, already.”

He slammed your locker shut, and you jumped, quickly snapping the lock shut and feeling him yank you to run down the hall and out the doors to the school.

**\---**

“What’s it say?”

You felt Patrick hovering over your shoulder as you waited for the test to show its results. “It’s not ready,” you said quietly.

“Fuck, why not?” he groaned impatiently. You looked back at him and watched him wrap his arms around you and touch your belly. “Can’t it go any faster?”

“It takes time,” you explained. He groaned again and let go of you, going to sit on the edge of his bed. You stood in the bathroom door, holding the little stick carefully in your hand. “Patrick if I’m pregnant… what are we gonna do…?”

“Wha’d’ya mean?” he questioned, raising an eyebrow.

You frowned deeply. “I-I mean, what are we gonna  _ do _ ?” you repeated. “My parents are gonna  _ kill _ me— and  _ you _ !”

“Fuck your parents, this is between me and you,” he scoffed. You blinked. “Y/N… Y/N, you’re not thinking of… an abortion, are you?”

“I-I mean—”

“Don’t even  _ think  _ about it,” he snapped angrily, standing up and towering over you. “How  _ dare _ you think about killing our baby girl! Haven’t you learned anything from the Church?!”

You were beyond confused at this point. Baby girl? Where had he come up with that? And no, you hadn’t learned anything from the Church, you had only been once…

“I can’t take care of a baby, Patrick, this is  _ insane _ !” you tried desperately. He looked furious. “I-I mean, really, do you think you’re ready for this? An abortion might be our only option—”

“Killing our baby girl isn’t  _ even _ and option,” he cut you off angrily. There it was again, baby  _ girl _ … “If the test is positive, you’re keeping the baby. What’s it say? Is it done?” He tried to look at the test in your hands. You paused, not sure if you were ready to see the results if they were there. “Y/N…”

“I can’t,” you whimpered, feeling like you might cry. He sighed heavily and snatched it from you. You jumped but watched for his reaction. His face went from angry, to neutral, to a huge grin. “Is it—?”

“You’re pregnant,” he agreed happily, turning it around to show you. You sucked in a breath when you saw one dark pink line, and a very faint pink line next to it… it was so light, but it was there…

“Oh my God…” you whispered.

“Y/N we’re gonna be parents!” he exclaimed, not sounding happy, but sounding excited. “You’re growing a little baby in there…” He moved forward and wrapped his arms around your waist, lifting you up and kissing you. That’s when he noticed you were crying. “What?” He set you down and frowned deeply. “Why are you crying?! Cut it out!”

You gasped as he grabbed your arm and yanked you into a hug. “P-Patrick,” you whimpered. “I-I can’t do this, I’m only fifteen,  _ we’re  _ only fifteen, w-we can’t do this!”

“Sure we can! I got lot’sa money, and we can live here,” he explained, sounding sure as he moved you back and looked at you. “Fuck, I knew this was gonna happen, this is great! I can’t wait to tell the boys!”

He seemed so excited, and as you watched him go over to the phone next to his bed, you sucked in a sob. He looked back at you and you quickly tried to contain yourself. He stared at you as your lip trembled and you broke down again.

Patrick didn’t quite know what to do. He wasn’t sure why you would be feeling anything other than pure joy at the thought of having his baby, let alone why you were crying. He frowned deeply and narrowed his eyes, storming up to you as you wailed in terror. He grabbed your arms with a firm grip and yanked you towards him.

“Why the fuck are you crying, Y/N?” he sighed, although he sounded impatient. You opened your eyes to look at him worriedly. “This is the best thing that could have ever happened to you! You’re having  _ my _ baby!”

“I don’t wanna have a baby,” you whimpered. “I-I don’t—”

“I don’t care if you don’t wanna! This is our child we’re talking about, she’s real!” he insisted. That confused you, so you furrowed your eyebrows. He didn’t take this well, shaking you violently and slamming you back against the bookshelf so hard that a few notebooks and encyclopedias fell onto the ground. You cried out in shock so he reeled back and slapped you as hard as he could.

Your head whipped to the side and you gasped, but it shut you up. You stared up at him once you got your bearings and felt the tears stay in your eyes this time.

“Y/N, don’t you wanna be with me?” he questioned. He sounded almost hurt, but the face he was making was so neutral. “This baby is gonna keep us together forever. This is what I wanted…”

Patrick touched your stinging cheek gently before grabbing your hair. You gasped and winced. “Patrick, of course I wanna be with you,” you tried weakly. “B-But I don’t want a baby…”

“Too bad. This is real. This is happening, Y/N, you should be as happy as I am,” he insisted, leaning down to kiss you gently. When he moved back he saw that your lip was trembling and he sighed, starting to play with your hair. “Maybe I brought you home too soon… you weren’t ready to leave your room…”

“No!” you quickly denied, sounding frantic. “No, Patrick, I-I’m happy! I’m really happy, with  _ you _ !” His eyes roamed your face. “I love you, Patrick… please don’t put me back in that room…”

He hummed and let go of your hair slowly, crossing his arms. “And you want this baby? You’re ready to be a mother?” he added curiously. You hesitated. “If you really love me you’d be ready to have my baby…”

“Then  _ yes _ ,” you agreed reluctantly. “Yes, Patrick, I’m… I’m ready to have this baby with you…”

He raised an eyebrow, then grinned. “Great! Our little Josephine will be the light of our lives,” he told you, wrapping his arms around you and pulling your head to his chest.

You were so scared and confused. Why was he so excited about this? Why did he already have a name picked out? How did he know it was a girl? Oh god… oh god, you were pregnant… and he’d been planning it…

“You wanted this?” you questioned quietly against his chest. He started playing with your hair again. “Patrick—?”

“Of course I wanted this,” he admitted. “This is what I’ve wanted all along. A family with my girl…” He moved you back to look at you. “And God gave that to me. He gave us this amazing gift, this miracle!”

“Miracle…” you repeated, still in shock. His smile faltered and you quickly perked up, trying your best to smile. “A miracle, right… this is…” But you couldn’t figure out what to say. Luckily, he leaned down to kiss you gently.

“I wanna fuck my pregnant girl,” he sighed, touching your cheek slightly. “I wanna make love and know that our little one is inside you too…”

That was disturbing, but  _ so _ Patrick. You smiled wryly and let him lead you to the bed. He took off your bra and tossed it across the room, starting to suck on your nipples while his hand made little circles on your tummy.

“Patrick…” you whispered, still absolutely horrified by the realization and the reality that you were pregnant.

“You’re going to be an amazing mother to my child, Y/N… you’re going to raise her well,” he insisted sweetly, moving down to kiss your belly. “And she’ll be so strong…”

He moved back and pulled his clothes off to have his way with you, and you let him, terrified of what the future held in store.


	8. Criminal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: criminal activity

Two weeks passed, and each pregnancy test you took was darker and more distinct. Your parents were still away for business, which you were grateful for, but each day increased your anxiety about how they would react when they found out.

Your stomach was growing, not yet due to the pregnancy, but because of Patrick feeding you non-stop. It didn’t make you happy, but again, it kept him happy, and you wanted to keep him happy.

Not that he spent all of his time with you, anyway.

Patrick would leave his house at seven at night to “work”, and wouldn’t be back until sometimes four in the morning. It made you nervous, thinking that he might be cheating on you just like Belch did.

When you finally confronted him, he just sighed and rolled his eyes at you.

“I have a job that I need to go to—”

“Right, and that job  _ is _ …?” you pressed. He blinked, staring at you. “You won’t even tell me what your  _ job _ is, Patrick, it’s ridiculous!”

“Hey, don’t yell at me,” he warned, towering over you and moving closer as if to square you up. You were nervous about being slapped in the face, so you quickly shut your mouth and looked up at him. “My job is very…. secret, princess. But if you must know… why don’t you come along with me?”

“To your job?” you questioned, confused.

“Sure. You can come along, I want you there,” he shrugged. “You can see how I’m going to be making money for you and the baby.”

As he spoke, he placed his hands on your belly. You blushed but smiled. Over the last two weeks, you had started getting used to the idea of being pregnant. It wasn’t nearly as scary when Patrick promised you that he wanted this, that he was going to protect and care for you and the baby. You didn’t know how much you believed it, but…

“But you have to follow a few simple rules, pretty girl,” he continued, lifting one hand to play with your hair. You hesitated, then nodded. “Good. First off, you don’t talk unless I tell you you can, understand?” You frowned but nodded. “Alright… also, if he asks who you are, your name is… uh… Pink. Yeah, Pink, got it?”

“Why?” you questioned nervously. “Patrick, what is it you do exactly?”

He sighed. “Y/N, I’m not gonna tell you, you’ll just have to see,” he pressed. “So drop it, okay?”

You blinked but nodded, and he smiled, leaning down to kiss you. You immediately relaxed, finding so much comfort in his love. He would protect you… you would be safe with him…

Patrick pulled you against him, your belly touching his shirt and waistline due to the crop top you were wearing. You could feel that he had an erection, as it poked at your stomach and waist when he rubbed against you. You shivered and looked up at him bashfully as he moved back.

“We have to go, grab my bag,” he ordered, letting go of you and grabbing his father’s car keys off of his desk. You grabbed his duffle bag, trying to peek into it before he yanked it out of your hands. You looked surprised and his eyes narrowed. “So remember. Mouth shut, Pink.”

“Yes, Patrick,” you agreed. He raised an eyebrow.

“Oh. And call me Stephen around this guy,” he added quickly. You furrowed your brow and opened your mouth to ask. “These are dangerous men I’m dealing with, sweetheart, can’t risk being found out.” Without any more explanation, he led you out the door to his father’s car. 

You wanted to ask what he was doing that was so dangerous and secret, but he had already instructed that you don’t ask questions. You were wondering if it was safe for you to go with him, but again, you kept your mouth shut.

“Can you blow me on the way there?” he requested with a grin as he opened the passenger side door for you. You looked shocked as you got in, blushing and licking your lips.

“Will you be able to focus on the road?” you chuckled, although you were serious. “I can suck you when we get home?”

Patrick closed your door and quickly went around the the driver’s side door, opening the front, then the back door to put his bag on the seat, and answered. “Nah, suck me when I’m drivin’,” he insisted, slamming the back door and getting into the driver’s seat. You blinked but nodded and he grinned and sat back in his seat, shutting the door and turning on the car. He glanced at you as he started to drive. “Suck it, baby…”

You licked your lips again and looked ahead as he turned onto the main road. Then you sat back in your seat as well, reaching over and grabbing at the tent in his pants and rubbing.

He bit his lip and focused on the road. He was good at this, he thought to himself. He had jerked himself off enough times while driving that he could do this just fine. He felt you unzip his jeans slowly, and pull his dick out of the hole in his boxers, the erection popping out once it was released. You started wiggling your hips a little and you looked up at him.

His eyes were focused on the road, glancing occasionally in his rear view mirror, then his side mirrors. But  _ oh _ that smirk on his face.

Patrick was thinking what a little slut you were for him. He couldn’t believe how quickly you had agreed to this, he knew God was with him to have given him such a perfect—

He  _ almost  _ closed his eyes as you started stroking him with a firm grip, from tip to base, and back up. He licked his lips and risked glancing at you before looking back at the road.

You moved so that you were leaning over the middle console and the shift stick, and you moved your hair back so that it wouldn’t get in the way as you went down on him. He grunted and grabbed your hair, letting you bob your head up and down on him.

Patrick knew where he was going, so he could focus on the absolutely ridiculous feeling of getting a blowjob. His hand was tangled in your hair, so he turned onto the next road with one hand. 

He took the turn a little sharp, but quickly recovered and kept driving straight onto the road. “Use your teeth a little…  _ that’s  _ it, princess…” he groaned, feeling like he was going to explode as you gently raked your teeth along his cock. “Fuck yeah, keep suckin’ it…”

You obeyed, going all the way down on him and groaning to elicit a groan from him. He gripped your hair tightly and held you down as he growled in his throat. You kept still, feeling his penis pulsing in your mouth.

“Almost there, Y/N, you’re doing so good,” he praised you, starting to pull your head up and down on him. “We got, say, five more minutes till we’re there… Jesus, I’m gonna nut in your mouth, sexy…”

You hummed and kept blowing him, feeling so special to be the one that did this to Patrick. A month ago, this would have been almost completely non-consensual, but now… now you wanted to spend your life with this boy, and please him the way you were now.

“Fuck, I’m cumming,” he warned, starting to shift his hips. You moved to suck on his head while your hand stroked his base, and his hips bucked into your mouth. “Fuck, yeah, baby…” He tensed up and cried out as he came in your mouth and he swerved a bit as he forced himself to pay attention to the road. “Oh  _ fuck _ ! Yeah, sweetheart, swallow that shit!”

He pulled onto a dirt road suddenly and looked at you as he watched your throat move as you swallowed his cum. You turned your head and opened your mouth to show him that you had swallowed and he groaned, running his fingers through your hair and making an abrupt stop. You gasped but quickly kept yourself from flying forward by holding onto him.

“We’re here,” he announced breathlessly. “Kiss me, baby, I wanna taste my cum on your lips…”

You quickly moved to kiss at his chapped lips, feeling him licking at yours. You touched his face and he grabbed your breast roughly. You moaned and tried to move closer but he moved back.

“Now grab that bag from the back. It’s empty, we have to pick up tonight,” he explained. You gulped and nodded, unbuckling your seatbelt and getting out of the car as Patrick did. You opened the back door and grabbed the empty duffle bag from the backseat. “Remember what I said, Pink, you don’t speak unless I tell you to. This guy’s a little jumpy, definitely got some kinda personality disorder, he might be a little nervous about you being around.”

“Are you sure I should come, Pa— Stephen?” you quickly corrected yourself. He smirked.

“Of course. You wanted to see what it is I do,” he pointed out, taking your hand gently. “Come, love, it’s just a short walk.”

Patrick started leading you down the dirt trail, the two of you walking hand and hand for about five minutes until he came to a sudden stop under an old overpass. The area looked abandoned, and the darkness of the night made you nervous.

“Steph—” you started. He quickly put his finger to your lips to shut you up. Your eyes widened in surprise, but you saw him look to the side as you both heard footsteps.

“Hush, Pink, business time,” he whispered.

You nodded and moved behind him, watching as a figure came out of the dark slowly.

“Stephen?”

“It’s me,” Patrick agreed. The man came into the moonlight and looked at you warily. “This is my girl, Pink.”

“Why’s she here?” the man asked nervously. He was clearly shaken by your presence, his fingers curling and uncurling at his sides. He kept nearly dropping his own bag due to this, and he instead starting shifting from foot to foot. “We agreed, nobody else.”

“ _ Jonathan _ ,” Patrick chuckled calmly. “Diego comes all the time with you.”

“He’s the boss, this is his shit,” so-called Jonathan snapped. Patrick licked his lips and turned to look at you.

“The bag, honey,” he requested, holding his hand out. You quickly handed him the duffle bag, which he set down in front of him. “Jonathan, let’s get on with the deal. I got the money, you got the goods?”

“Yeah, I got em.” Jonathan looked back at you, watching you with manic fear in his eyes.

“Look, I wouldn’t bring my pregnant girl with me to jump you, she was just curious what I do for a living, that’s all,” Patrick explained. “Now let’s get down to business.”

“I think you’re screwin’ me over, Stephen,” the man said suspiciously, ignoring Patrick’s offer. “I think this is all a little fishy…”

“Fishy? Come on, Jonathan,” Patrick grinned. “You  _ know _ me, how long have we done business together?”

Jonathan pulled a gun out of his waistband and you moved back quickly, behind Patrick. “I think you bringing this girl along is weird. Seems like a setup to me…” he insisted. “And I don’t believe she’s pregnant… that’s bull, you’re a cop, ain’t you?!”

“Calm down, I ain’t no cop,” Patrick sighed. “Let’s just do the deal and get on with our nights, alright? And I’ll never bring Y/N with me again.”

“Thought her name was Pink,” Jonathan pointed out, pointing the gun at Patrick. You gasped. “That’s it, I ain’t goin’a jail, you just step back.”

“Jonathan…  _ Jonathan _ …” Patrick pleaded calmly. But the man turned the safety off the gun and kept it pointed at him.

Patrick sighed again and smacked the hand with the gun so that it went flying to the ground. Jonathan growled and tackled him to the ground, grabbing his throat and starting to strangle him.

You whimpered and backed away, watching Patrick’s face turn red as he started gasping for breath. “ _ Y/N _ ,” he wheezed. “Y/N, get the gun…”

You panicked and reached down to grab the gun off the ground, pointing it with a shaking hand at Patrick’s paranoid attacker.

Jonathan squeezed Patrick’s neck particularly hard and your lover’s face started turning purple as he gasped for air.

Without a second thought you pulled the trigger.

The man fell off of Patrick, holding his bleeding side, and crying out. “You stupid bitch!” he growled, standing up weakly and starting to come for you. You were a hyperventilating, crying mess at this point, but you held the gun up still and shot at his chest, then again at his neck.

You were staring at the man in shock as you watched him gurgle and choke on his own blood, falling to his knees, then on his face. He gripped at the ground for a few seconds, sputtering out blood and twitching, before he finally fell completely still. His eyes remained wide open, and blood spilled out of his neck and chest and side.

“Oh my God,” you breathed, staring at the dead man in the road, his blood starting to stain the dirt red.

It had all just happened so fast… you hadn’t known what to do, you had to save Patrick, but you hadn’t meant to… you had never meant to…

Patrick coughed and slowly stood up, shaking his head as he tried to get the blood flow back to his brain. He coughed a few more times as he quickly limped over to you.

“Fuck,” he hissed, rubbing his red throat. “Fuckin’ guy’s a psycho… is he dead?”

He kicked at the limp body on the ground and heard you sobbing behind him. Patrick turned to look at you, frowning. “I-I killed him…” you whimpered. “Oh my God, I  _ killed him _ !”

“Y/N, he tried to kill me,” he reminded you, too blankly. You looked up at him worriedly. “You did good, baby. You did what you had to do, don’t feel bad.”

“Don’t  _ feel bad _ ?!” you hissed, covering your mouth. “H-He’s dead, we need to call the police—”

“What? No,” he snapped. “Don’t even think about it. We’re gonna go home, and in a few days, some farmer’s gonna find his body and no one will ever know what happened here, got it?”

You just stared at the body, hyperventilating and sobbing. Patrick rolled his eyes and started pickpocketing the body. He pulled out a roll of cash, and the man’s wallet, taking out whatever cash was in there as well. He also picked up the duffle bag that the man had brought with him.

When he turned and saw that you were still sobbing, he grabbed your shoulders, shaking you violently. You stared at him fearfully, quickly trying to contain yourself.

“H-His hands,” you started, tears still gently falling down your chubby cheeks. “T-They’ll have your DNA, they’ll know it was you—”

He put his finger on your lips, and gently took the gun from you. “Smart girl,” he sighed. “Stay here. I have to get somethin’ from my car.” He moved around you and went to the car.

You just stood there for the ten or so minutes, staring at the man you had killed for your boyfriend. You had just taken a life… a human life was now ended at your hands… it was murder in the first degree, there was no way the two of you were getting away with this…

You felt Patrick brush past you and you looked up at him to see his hairspray bottle and a blowtorch he used for smoking cannabis hash oil.

“What are you doing?” you asked as he started spraying the man’s skin and clothes with the hairspray. He didn’t even glance up at you, standing up straight for a second, then clicking on the blowtorch. He sprayed the hairspray in the direction of the body and put the blowtorch in its line of fire, and the body immediately burst into flames. You gasped and stepped back, looking at the now burning body…

You couldn’t believe this was happening. You couldn’t believe how calm Patrick was. He glanced back at you and smiled—  _ smiled _ ! Like he was just happy to be with you right now, not like there was a burning dead body that  _ you _ had killed in front of you both.

The two of you watched the body burn for what felt like hours, Patrick going forward and lighting the body up again if it started to go out. He stepped back at some point to put his arm around you and rub your shoulder.

“This is crazy,” you whispered, once the body was burned down to the bone. He moved forward and looked at the bones, still slightly covered in meat and blood. “This is… this isn’t okay, Patrick, I think I’m gonna be sick.”

He turned to you, and you saw the fire in his eyes, the excitement. He was having a wonderful time, not scared or horrified by what had just taken place. “Don’t be upset, love. Shit happens. Now you go sit in the car, I’m gonna move these bones,” he explained, starting to walk to the car with his hairspray and the blowtorch.

He walked past you as you stood still. “How are you going to move the bones… do you have gloves?” you wondered.

“And trash bags. Just need’a find a place to hide ‘em,” he smiled at you. You just stared at him and shook your head in disbelief. Then you laughed.

“We just murdered someone!” you whimpered. He raised an eyebrow.

“Well,  _ you _ did. And?” he questioned. Your mouth fell open as you found you had nothing to say. Then you started following him to the car, hugging yourself and looking at the dirt road.

This was seriously fucked up… what the hell was happening?!

You got in the car once the two of you reached it, and didn’t say anything as you closed the door. You heard him open the trunk and start digging around, then he shut it and started walking back… to the  _ murder scene _ .

You sat in the car for 15 minutes, probably a little more, and sobbed hysterically, trying to get it all out before Patrick got back. He had seemed so calm… even  _ excited _ . Like tonight was a fun date night for the two of you, not like you had just  _ murdered _ ….

You couldn’t even finish the thought, opening the door quickly and hurrying out to vomit in the bushes near the car.

Your heart was in your throat, and you sobbed to yourself, covering your face. You needed to call the police and confess everything, what Patrick had done to you, that you had killed a man. You were willing to suffer the consequences if it meant getting the guilt off your chest. But Patrick would come after you… he would never let it go…

“Feeling sick, my love?”

You nearly jumped out of your skin, turning quickly and wiping your mouth. Patrick smirked and walked over to you as he took his latex gloves off and stuck them in his pocket.

“Patrick…” you started, feeling sick to your stomach again.

“What a night, huh? Come on, in the car, it’s almost two in the morning, the gas station should be open, I’ll get you a soda,” he said sweetly, touching your shoulder and kissing your head as he led you to the car. “I’ll need to stop at the pay phone, anyway, to call my boss… he’ll need to know about Jonathan.”

“Will he be mad?” you found yourself asking. The last thing you wanted was someone coming after you, or Patrick.

“No no no, if anything he’ll be relieved,” he chuckled. “We’ve wanted to cut Jonathan out for a while but… the guy has— had a wife and kids, you know? You saved us a lot of trouble, really.”

He laughed and your face fell.

That man had had a family… he had a life, friends, a house, a  _ fucking family _ . And now his wife and kids would never see their husband, their father, ever again. They would be stuck wondering where he went, why he had left. And in reality, he was dead. Because you had killed him.

“Patrick, I’m gonna be sick…” you warned, but your eyes rolled back instead, and you collapsed into him. He scoffed.

“Oh  _ come on _ , Y/N, give me a break,” he snorted. But he lifted you up and set you in the car, slamming the door after he had you in the seat. You started crying lightly again, and you grabbed your hair, trying to stop thinking about the fact that  _ you had killed someone. And no one but you and Patrick would ever know _ .

Patrick got in the driver’s seat and closed his door, looking at you. You looked over at him, your face red as tears continued to pour down your round cheeks.

He grabbed your cheeks and squished them between his fingers. “You look so ugly when you cry,” he stated. “That’s why I hate it so much. And besides, what do you have to cry about?”

“I just killed—” you started, but he pinched your face harder, making you wince.

“I know. You should be proud. You killed a man,” he agreed. “Stop fucking crying, or I’ll give you something to cry over…”

Patrick let go of your face and started the car calmly, and you forced the tears to stop as he started driving, just staring ahead.

This was all insane. You had been cheated on, and kidnapped, and now you were pregnant, and had killed a man. All within a month. And behind everything was Patrick. Your keeper, your… your love. You couldn’t help but still think so highly of him, despite his controlling ways and his clear unstableness.

You bit your lip, then started laughing. He glanced at you as he drove through the empty streets of Derry, and smirked. “What’s so funny?” he asked curiously.

“I-I have no idea what’s wrong with me,” you admitted, still laughing. You felt like you’d lost it. You were willing to give anything for Patrick, you had literally  _ killed _ for Patrick. No matter how much he frightened you and hurt you, you longed for his love and affection, and the thought of doing anything for this psychopath…

“Nothin’s wrong with you, precious. You’re finally awake,” he chuckled, before starting to laugh with you. You put a hand on your stomach as you continued laughing so hard that it ached. What else could you do? You weren’t allowed to cry. You weren’t allowed to be guilty. And after all, it was all so… funny, in a way. You were a prisoner out in broad daylight. You had his name on your skin. You were getting away with murder.

This all made you tip your head back as the laughter hit its peak, and Patrick glanced at you again with a smile. This was the you that he had fallen for. The perfect amount of beautiful, the perfect amount of cold, the perfect amount of crazy.

“God, I wanna fuck when we get home,” he sighed, putting his hand on your leg. You looked over at him, covering your mouth as your laughter started to subside. “I wanna fuck you hard. Make you scream for me, know that you’re all mine.”

“I am all yours,” you giggled, putting your hand on his. “Did tonight prove it? That I’d do anything for you?”

“Oh you’ve more than proved that you’d do anything for me. My name carved into you. Jonathan…. I just hope you’ll stay with me forever. Is that what you want?” he questioned softly, not looking at you but at the gas station that he was pulling up to.

You stared at him, then leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Only if you’ll love me forever,” you agreed happily. “I know I’ll love you for the rest of my life.”

“So you and the baby will stay with me,” he concluded. “For the rest of our lives.”

He knew that that was going to be a long time, all of eternity, technically. But he believed you, his little psycho. You were so cute, the way you smiled and touched your belly thoughtfully. He was going to keep you. He knew he would have you, whether you changed your mind or not, for his entire life.


	9. Gifts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Criminal activities, underage drinking, underage sex

You would never know how Patrick had reeled you in the way he had. But God, you felt like a fish out of water whenever you were by his side. It was hard to breath, watching him do something as simple as talking on the phone across the parking lot, the little glances accompanied by the knowing smirks he would send your way every so often.

You sipped on your favorite soda while he talked to his boss, almost completely unworried about what had taken place just an hour ago. He, of course, had insisted on a make out session before going to call Diego, knowing that you needed the distraction and wanting to taste your sweet lips.

Of course, your mind was partially still in that moment… grabbing the gun off the ground, pointing it at ‘Jonathan’, and shooting him dead.

The more you thought about it, the more alright with it you became. It had been self-defense after all, right? You had killed him to save Patrick, to protect yourself and the baby…

Thinking about your little one, you placed a hand on your tummy and looked down, biting your lip. He made it so that you already looked pregnant, with the constant snacks and meals he fed you. You had more fat on you than you’d ever had before, and it made you so self-conscious that you couldn’t explain it. You knew you’d already gained eight pounds, and it was only December… you couldn’t imagine how big he wanted you, but you could imagine being too overweight by the time your baby was born in August…

You gasped as the door to the car opened and you looked up as Patrick got in. “All set!” he said happily, shutting the door behind him. “Thank you, by the way. Diego was very pleased…”

“You never told me what it is you do,” you reminded him. He hesitated, then reached into the backseat and grabbed the bag he had picked up from Jonathan. “How can me killing someone be okay, in  _ any  _ situation.”

“Just look in the bag, love,” he suggested, opening it up. You looked in and gasped, seeing a huge bag of weed, along with a few blocks of white powder wrapped in plastic.

“Drugs?” you asked, sounding almost angry. “ _ That’s  _ how you’re going to provide for me and our baby?”

“How else would I make money? I’m fifteen for fuck’s sake,” he laughed. You looked nervous as he closed up the bag and put it in the backseat again. “Don’t worry, love, I’ve been doing this for almost two years, never gotten caught.”

“But you’re selling drugs!” you hissed. “No wonder we got away with murder, you’re doing something  _ illegal _ !”

“Really, Y/N? Really?” he questioned coldly. You raised an eyebrow. “How illegal is murdering a man? You need to get your priorities straight.”

“Okay, well…” you started, although you didn’t know how to argue with that. He smirked and started the car, starting to drive the two of you home. “Patrick, I don’t know how I feel about this… any of it—”

“Why do you have to  _ feel  _ anything? Just let it be,” he cut you off, sounding annoyed. You shut your mouth, sipping your soda and looking ahead as he drove you home. Once he pulled into the driveway, he continued. “I wanna have the boys over tonight for drinks.”

“Belch too?” you asked, trying not to think about the fact that you were dating a drug dealer. And that you were a murderer...

“Of course. He’s my friend,” he agreed. “I think it’s time we tell them about the baby. My parents already know—”

“You told them?!” you gasped. He raised his eyebrows. “W-What’d they say? Were they angry?”

“Oh, totally,” he told you. You turned red and got out of the car, starting to go towards the house. You waited outside the door for him, watching him get his things out of the car and walk towards you. “Don’t be upset, they’ll get over it.”

“Sure, but  _ that’s  _ their first impression of me, the girl their son knocked up,” you pointed out, upset. He shrugged. “How are we gonna tell my parents, they’ll be livid…”

“Don’t worry, baby, my mom will be there to help,” he explained, opening the door and going inside. You sighed and followed him in, shutting the door behind him and watching him set his things down. “My Dad called me a disappointment… like I give a shit.”

“Baby…” you tried. He looked up at you calmly.

“My Mom was worried though… I don’t wanna worry her…” he said, sounding a bit sad. You walked over to him and touched his back. “But I told her how in love we are, how we’re going to spend our lives together… she made me promise…” He trailed off and smiled. “I have plans for us, love. Everything is going to turn out perfect.”

“What plans?” you asked curiously. He just smiled and kissed your forehead, touching your belly.

“Big plans. To be with you forever and ever,” was all he said. With that he led you to the bed. “Get some sleep, baby. I want you awake for tonight, when our friends are here.”

You sighed at his vague answers and started getting undressed. He watched you, then watched you get into the bed. “Why won’t you ever be honest with me?” you questioned worriedly. He raised his eyebrow. “I mean… don’t you trust me? You can tell me anything, Patrick.”

He smiled and leaned down to kiss your head again. “Some things are meant to be kept secret. Goodnight my beautiful. You’re everything to me…” he told you. You just stared up at him.

“I love you, Patrick,” you agreed. He smiled even more brightly, and moved to shut the light off. “Are you leaving?”

“Diego needs his money… Jonathan can’t really give it to him, now can he?” he teased. You found yourself smiling slightly, and you laid down as he turned off the light and left again.

\---

All four boys were already drunk by ten o’clock that night, laughing loudly and swearing at each other. You just watched curiously. Patrick’s arm was tightly around your shoulder, and you had your hand on his knee.

You knew Belch was just a little more stupid when he was drunk, and there was no missing the way he would look at you every so often with worry and at Patrick with jealousy and anger.

Belch knew you didn’t want this. How could you? You looked so politely and perfectly placed by Patrick’s side, like his pet. Like his little fucking pet, he thought, obident and  _ owned. _

He finally caught your gaze, only to see you glaring at him. He quickly looked down at his whiskey bottle and spun it around in his hand quickly before taking a swig.

You hated that that  _ bastard _ still claimed to be in love with you. After he had cheated on you over and over and over again behind your back. You were perfectly happy with Patrick, you thought, cuddling against your boyfriend with a smug smirk. You felt Belch’s eyes on you yet again, so you turned your head to look at Patrick, leaning up and nipping at his earring to get his attention.

Patrick tsked and licked his lips, smirking. “What, baby girl?” he wondered softly.

You glanced to the side at Belch, directing Patrick’s attention to him. Patrick licked his lips again, this time in annoyance, and brought his grip down to your waist. When he looked back at you you looked at him with the most loving eyes.

He knew he couldn’t wait any longer.

“I have an early Christmas gift for you, Y/N…” Patrick smirked a little. You blinked and smiled excitedly. Maybe you were just turning into a spoiled brat, but you were learning to love the wonderful gifts he lavished you with. Now that all of your new clothes were starting to fit, he would shower you with jewelry and sweets and anything he could think of to spoil you. “Can we step outside for a moment? I want this to be between you and me…”

You felt your heart skip a beat, and you nodded, standing up and following him outside as you heard Henry and Vic start talking about a hook up Vic had just recently had. You didn’t see Belch looked over towards you as Patrick closed the door behind you. 

You shivered slightly from the cold. The snow was only falling lightly from the December sky, and you looked up to see it fall.

Patrick moved closer to you and took your hand gently. “You mean everything to me, Y/N…” he told you seriously. You smiled softly and looked at him as you gripped his hand tightly. “I’m serious, I’ve never cared about anything until you came along. You’re my whole world, I can’t go one minute, not even a second without thinking about you. We were meant for each other, I just know it.”

“I think so too, Patrick,” you agreed. “I’ve never been as happy as I am with you…”

He grinned and took a deep breath. “Good. I want you to be happy. With me. Forever, Y/N, for the rest of our lives,” he insisted, squeezing your hand. “Will you spend forever with me, precious?”

You couldn’t help but smile brightly and nod. He was being so sweet right now, his words sounding so sincere and so loving. You wanted more than anything right now to spend forever with him, that sounded like a dream come true.

“Good…” he said again. “Good, Y/N…” He licked his lips and looked into the house through the door’s little window. The boys were busy yelling at each other and laughing and throwing snacks at each other and drinking. And of course, Belch was sulking and being grouchy with the other two.

Patrick wanted them distracted, he wanted this between you and him. For now. Once everything was done and over with, they would know…

He was pretty drunk himself, accidentally hiccuping as he took in your agreement to spend forever with him. He stumbled a bit and you put out an hand to catch him. He chuckled.

“Would you promise me that?” he questioned gently, starting to get down on one knee, nearly falling but catching himself with his hand.

As he settled himself down, your eyes widened. You watched him reach into his pocket and you quickly covered your mouth.

“Patrick,” you gasped behind your hand, watching him pull out a ring box.

“Marry me, Y/N,” he said, almost insistently. He still held your hand, and as he popped the box opened and he looked up at you, you felt like crying.

Your first thought was: maybe this was your chance to escape. Your brain suddenly remembered everything he had done to you, the little room, his name cut into your ribs, the slaps in the face, getting away with murder, how he was practically holding you captive still. You quickly closed your eyes and took a shaky breath, uncovering your mouth.

“C-Could we even do that? I-I mean we’re  _ fifteen— _ ”

“I know, and in Maine we need parents’ permission and a judge’s order when you’re under sixteen,” he told you quickly. You opened your eyes and stared at him, completely shocked. “But I know your parents will come around, especially with the baby on the way. And guess who's Uncle’s a judge?” He grinned and kissed your hand. You still could only stare at him, and you opened your mouth slightly.

“Y-You’re just drunk, Patrick,” you guessed. “You’re not thinking—”

“Then why’d I got a ring?” he pointed out with a grin. “I’ve been planning this. I promised Mama I would do this, Y/N.”

He seemed to have all the bases covered. He was ready to have you for the rest of his life. The question was, were you ready to be with him for the rest of yours? Did you even have a choice?

If you said yes, you were promising him the rest of your life, under his watch, under his supervision, under his whip. The ring he held before you was the same as that chain that had kept you in that basement just a month ago… but this time he was letting you take it, and shackle yourself to him. Permanently.

You took a shaky breath in, and looked in his eyes, searching for any little bit of humanity. Maybe he was giving you the choice to leave him? Maybe he wouldn’t get angry if you said no… but he was starting to frown, and get impatient, his eyes filled with absolutely nothing as usual.

A look of dread fell over your face and you felt tears start falling down your face. “You kidnapped me…” you reminded him. His eyes narrowed. “You kept me locked in a room  _ alone _ … how… how could I want this…?”

“Because you love me,” he said seriously. You blinked. “Or have you been lying to me…?”

“No!” you gasped, squeezing his hands. More tears fell as that awful sense of confusion overtook you again, and you tried to decide what to do. “I-I do love you…”

“Then put the ring on, Y/N…” he insisted. You stared at him fearfully, then smiled sadly. “Fucking, marry me, Y/N. I love you.”

Maybe this  _ was _ what you needed to do. With the baby on the way, you would need the father around to help support it. And you  _ did _ love Patrick. You didn’t know if it was forced, but somehow, he did make you happy. You thought of just a moment ago, when you had wanted to spend your life with him, and you sobbed slightly as you tried to get back in this headspace.

It was easier that way…

“Yes…” you agreed, your smile slowly becoming bright through your tears. You quickly wiped your tears and nodded. “I love you, Patrick, yes, I’ll marry you, yes!”

His face relaxed and he smiled, standing up and taking the ring out of the box, sliding it onto your shaking ring finger. You stared at the bright diamond happily and looked up at him with excitement.

“It was my mother’s engagement ring. I got it fitted for your finger,” he explained quickly. You looked back down at the little gold band around your finger and looked right back at him, going on your toes and kissing him.

That was close, he thought, you had started to fall apart there for a second. But now you were back to the girl that was head over heels for him, completely blinded by love.

“My parents are already on board with this, they don’t want the baby born out of wedlock, and my Dad is dealing with my Uncle, so all we need is to convince your parents. But I know we can. We’re going to be together forever,” he grinned, sounding genuinely excited.

You loved seeing him like this, happy. It was all going to be worth it to see him happy…

“You’re incredible, Patrick,” you told him, hugging him to you tightly. “I can’t wait for forever with you… and our baby…”

“Oh our baby,” Patrick agreed, putting his hands on your belly. “I can’t wait to meet our little peanut…”

You sucked in a breath and smiled with joy. What had you been so worried about again? It didn’t matter what he had done to you, the past was in the past, the future was your new little family. That’s all you could ask for.

“Let’s go inside, my queen, it’s too cold out for you,” he said quickly, starting to lead you inside. “Oh. And let’s keep this a secret until the wedding, alright? I don’t want anyone giving you shit…”

“I’ll be fine, I want everyone to know I’m yours,” you tried. He smiled and stopped you outside the door.

“You’re sweet. I’d like this to stay between us for now, love,” he told you, more sternly. You hesitated, but nodded, turning your ring so that the diamond was on the palm of your hand. “Good, I love you…”

He opened the door to his room and the three boys looked up, staying quiet. “What’s wrong?” Patrick asked curiously. Henry and Vic gave each other amused looks, and Belch looked beyond angry. “You saw all that, didn’t you?”

“Don’t tell me you’re serious, Hockstetter,” Henry scoffed. “Gettin’ down on one knee and shit, fuckin’ pussy.”

“Yeah, man, you’re goin’ soft,” Vic agreed with a grin.

“Let’s see the bling, Y/N,” Henry demanded, his drunken voice carrying across the room.

“Yeah, Y/N, I wanna see what he spent on you,” Vic agreed, sitting up and waving you over. You looked up at Patrick, who shrugged and nodded, and you hurried over to the boys, turning your ring around and showing off the nice diamond on the gold ring. “Damn, not bad. Expected bigger.”

“It’s beautiful, isn’t it?” you asked excitedly. Patrick smirked a little and leaned against the wall. “It was his mother’s engagement ring—”

“Oh! Oh, so you didn’t even go all out on this!” Belch spoke up suddenly, you all looked over at him and he turned red with anger. He was clearly even more drunk than the others, and you rolled your eyes. “You… you didn’t even save up your money and buy her the ring of her dreams?!”

“Shut up, Belch,” you snapped. He looked shocked, as he always did when you got angry with him. “I  _ love  _ that it’s his mother’s. It’s romantic and traditional, and I didn’t say yes for the  _ ring _ , Huggins.”

Belch turned red. “Just… just tell me this is a joke, you aren’t really thinking of marrying this kid, are you?!” he said angrily, standing up and swaying. You backed away towards Patrick. “You know how  _ insane  _ this is, don’t you?! You’ve been together for a month, you’re not even past the honeymoon phase!”

You glared at him and stormed towards him. “Stop trying to ruin my happiness!  _ You _ fucked up,  _ I  _ don’t have to forgive you! If you  _ really  _ loved me you would be happy that I’m so happy!”

“I do really love you, and I’m worried about you! I-I don’t wanna be mean or nothin’, but you been gettin’ bigger. And you said you’d never smoke cigarettes, or pot, you said—”

“I also said I loved you, I said a lot of things I didn’t mean!” you cut him off loudly. He looked shocked to hear this, then his face fell and he looked at the floor in silence. “Can’t you leave me alone?”

“Sure…” he agreed coldly. “Sure I could leave you alone. But then he’ll kill you or some shit. And I ain’t lettin’ that happen. I know you. And I know you ain’t happy.” He looked at Patrick angrily and drunkenly marched up to him. “If you do  _ anything _ to her—”

“No need to worry,” Patrick told him cheerfully. Belch’s eyes narrowed. “My little queen is in the best of hands. The baby and her are going to be happy with me.”

Everyone went silent, and you looked at Patrick in shock. He grinned, moving closer to you and touching your belly with his hands.

“The baby…? Don’t tell me you’re serious,” Belch tried, sounding like he might cry.

“ _ Ooooh  _ boy!” Vic laughed loudly. “ _ Y/N and Pattycake sittin’ in a tree, K. I. S. S. I. N. G! First comes love, then comes marriage— _ ”

“Except first comes little baby, then comes marriage,” Henry pointed out. “You got it all backwards dude, you’re goin’a hell.”

“Jesus,” Patrick sighed, rolling his eyes. “ _ Surprise _ ! Y/N and I are starting a family together!” He glanced at Belch, seeing the boy looking completely heartbroken. “Y/N, I think we should marry in July, that way the baby will be born after the wedding.”

“I wanna get married sooner,” you tried, turning to face him and kissing him gently. “I wanna marry you tomorrow.”

“Woah,” Henry scoffed. “Needy much?”

Patrick elected to ignore him. “Y/N, we still need to get your parents on board. And besides, it’ll take some time to get everything in order, and I want a big wedding with the whole town,” he explained. Your eyes lit up.

“The whole town will be there, and we’ll get married in the Church so there’ll be plenty of room—”

“And then the next month, the baby will be born, and we’ll be a happy little family,” he finished. You sighed happily and kissed him deeply, over and over and over.

“That sounds perfect… I can’t wait for forever with you, love,” you told him. He nipped at your lip and chuckled.

“You’re mine, and no one else’s, right, princess?” he smiled. You stared at him with the most starstruck eyes, your heart beating a million miles an hour.

“I belong to no one but you, Patrick,” you agreed softly, going on your toes to rub your nose against his.

“Fuck this,” Belch growled, shoving past the two of you towards the door. “Henry, Vic, we’re going.”

“Um,” Henry said coldly. Belch froze and turned around, having no choice but to watch you and Patrick making out as you both fell onto the couch.

“Henry, please, can we leave?” he begged. Vic glanced at him now and frowned. “I really wanna go home.”

“When you’re this drunk?” Vic chuckled.

“Yeah, hell no, I ain’t lettin’ you drive us home when you’re piss drunk. Sit the hell down, Belch, man up,” Henry ordered. Belch’s jaw trembled angrily, and he looked over at you and Patrick, as Patrick placed his hand on your belly again and started rubbing in circles.

“Little Josie and her Mama are gonna go on the best vacation of their lives for the honeymoon,” Patrick whispered, half to you half to the baby. “Where do you wanna go, honey?”

“Anywhere, as long as it’s with you,” you told him immediately.

Patrick drank it in, practically drowning in how obsessed you were with him. You were perfect, the perfect woman, the perfect mother. And more importantly, Patrick had decided that you were real. You were as real as he was, and he couldn’t make that up. You had been placed on this plane of existence for him, to hold and keep and fuck, and he had claimed you. It had been close, you had almost spent your life with that bozo Belch, who would have died someday and left you alone. But he had caught you just in time, and now you were going to be together forever and ever.

And now the baby was growing inside you, a  _ real _ baby. Not some figment of his imagination, not like everyone else. Like him, like you. This baby was as real as both of you, and he would cherish her, treat her like a princess, while he treated you like a Queen.

He was the King, after all.

“I have another gift for you, love,” Patrick whispered as the two of you snuggled on the couch. You looked up at him and smiled brightly. He got up abruptly and went to his desk, pulling out one of the drawers and picking up a small box that was inside. He touched the box thoughtfully, then walked back over to you, smiling lazily. You had almost forgotten that he was drunk until he smiled at you like that. He hid it so well…

As he fell back on the couch, he handed the little box to you, and kissed your cheek with a loud, wet sound. You giggled and carefully pulled the lid off the box, gasping when you saw what was inside. “Oh… oh Patrick…” you said softly.

“Well what the hell is it?” Henry demanded. You jumped, having forgotten that anyone else was there for a moment.

Vic leaned over from the other side of the couch and scoffed. “Just a necklace,” he told his friend.

“It’s not just a necklace, it’s a locket,” Patrick corrected him.

“And it’s got a  _ P _ on it, for Patrick,” you added, touching the carefully etched letter on the heart shaped, gold locket.

“Oh,  _ Jesus _ . Does it have a picture of Patrick in it?” Henry teased.

“No. It’s empty for now. I’d like you to put a picture of our baby in it, when the time comes,” Patrick explained to you. You looked at him and smiled brightly, leaning over and kissing him quickly. “You like it?”

“I love it,” you agreed. “Put it on me.” He grinned and took the box from you, taking the necklace out carefully. You turned and he set the box on the desk, and brought the necklace over your head so that he could bring it around back of your neck and fasten it there. You immediately touched it and turned around to kiss him again, then touched your nose to his.

Belch moved suddenly to open the outside door, and it caught everyone’s attention. Henry scoffed. “Where do you think  _ you’re  _ going?” he questioned his friend. “You ain’t drivin’ home.”

“I’m havin’ a cigarette,” he grumbled, continuing outside into the snowy night.

You and Patrick stayed close to each other for a few more seconds, then Patrick kissed your forehead. “Do you want one more gift?” he asked. Your eyes lit up and you smiled. “I think you’ll like this one. You all will.”

“Oh yeah? More jewelry, Pats?” Vic guessed.

“Or clothes?” Henry chimed in loudly. “Somethin’ pretty so we can look at her.” You looked over at him and quickly looked back away, starting to blush. Patrick chuckled and stood up, pulling you along with him. Henry and Vic started mumbling to each other about something, and you followed Patrick, and let him lead you over towards the bed.

“Start taking your clothes off,” he ordered. Your eyes widened in confusion and he smiled sweetly. “Go on.”

“I don’t understand…” you tried, looking towards Henry and Vic, who had stopped talking and were looking at you and Patrick now. “Patrick—”

“Y/N,” he said calmly. You looked at him and gulped, pulling off your crop top and dropping it to the floor. You hugged yourself nervously, not sure how to feel about standing in front of Henry and Vic with just your bra on. “And your skirt.”

“Jesus, she’s gettin’ fat...” Henry pointed out thoughtlessly. You turned red and quickly looked down at yourself.

“A little bit. Y/N, take off your skirt,” Patrick said again. You sucked in a breath and took your skirt off, letting it drop to your feet, then kicking it off. You still didn’t look at anyone, hugging yourself in a vain attempt to hide your growing body. Patrick put his finger under your chin and tilted it upwards to look at his friends, and he kissed your cheek. “Now lay down on the bed.”

“P-Patrick, I still don’t—”

“Henry,” Patrick cut you off. Henry raised an eyebrow and sat back. Both of Patrick’s friends were obviously looking at you, whether they were admiring you or judging you, you didn’t know. “Henry, do you think you could help me with her?”

“Help you with her? The fuck’s that mean?” Henry scoffed.

Patrick dropped his hand from your chin and started playing with your hair. “I need help getting her on the bed,” he chuckled. “She says she doesn’t understand, but she will…”

You looked over at him in shock and blinked. “P-Patrick, I don’t know about—” you attempted to argue. But Henry was already up out of the chair, stumbling over to you.

“Come on, Y/N, be a good girl and do what I say,” Patrick insisted. “If you don’t, we’re gonna make you anyway.”

You stared at him with your mouth wide open. You looked over at Vic for help, unsure of what else to do. Your boyfriend was beyond drunk, and so was Henry. Although, looking at Vic, he didn’t seem to be in any better of a state.

As soon as Henry was in front of you he grabbed you and shoved you back onto the bed. You gasped but caught yourself, pushing yourself so that you were completely on the bed now. You gulped and looked at Patrick as Henry did the same.

“Go ahead, Hank,” he sighed happily. Henry licked his lips and looked down at you hungrily. “Fuck her. Do whatever you want.”

“You’re sure?” you found yourself asking. “W-What are you gonna do?”

“Of course I’m sure. I’m gonna watch,” he answered cheerfully. “Nothin’ hotter than watchin’ your baby mama get double fucked. Oh yeah, Victor, she’s gonna need you over there too.”

Vic had barely let him finish saying his name before he was up walking up to the bed too, standing next to Henry as they both stared down at you.

You didn’t look up at them right away, staring at Patrick with fear in your eyes. “Patrick, are you  _ positive _ you want this?” you pressed. “I mean… won’t you be jealous?”

“Oh  _ no _ , Y/N. I won’t be jealous. These are my best friends, they need to get laid too,” he explained, moving back to sit on the couch. You gulped and finally brought your attention to Henry and Vic. “Make sure to be good for ‘em, don’t be all awkward or shit like that, they want you to be a slut, like you are for me.”

“We can do whatever we want? Smack her ass and stuff?” Henry questioned, already starting to pull his shirt off. He threw it to the side and sat on the bed next to you, putting his hand on your thigh. “Kiss her and stuff too?”

“Of course. Leave her all bruised up, Henry,” Patrick agreed.

Henry grinned and looked over at Vic, who just kept looking you up and down. “You first, kid. Show her that magic mouth…” he chuckled. Vic looked over at him in surprise, then smirked and nodded.

Vic got onto the bed now as well, and crawled over you. You took a shaky breath. “You okay? Nervous?” he asked calmly, putting a hand on your waist. You gulped and just stared at him for a second before nodding, uncomfortable that Henry was squeezing your thigh while Vic moved his hand down to do the same with the soft skin of your hip. “You don’t gotta be scared. We’re really good at this.”

“Okay…” you said, your voice filled with uncertainty.

All three boys chuckled, then Vic moved even closer to you, on your other side, and settled on his side. He touched your cheek to get your face fully in his direction, then he pressed your lips together. You squeezed your eyes shut, your heart beating even faster than you’d ever felt it. He was kissing you softly, catching your lips skillfully and sweetly, but it wasn’t Patrick. And it felt wrong.

Henry suddenly attacked your neck with his mouth, his teeth nipping at the soft skin there, and your eyes opened wide for a moment, your lips still occupied by Victor’s.

You felt Henry flip the cups of your bra down and he grabbed onto your breasts harshly, making you gasp into Vic’s mouth. “ _ Fuck _ , at least her tits are gettin’ big…” Henry grinned against your neck.

“Yes, they are,” Patrick agreed. You quickly looked over at where he was seated on the couch, seeing him smirking at you. “Vicky, show her what else that mouth can do…”

Vic moved his mouth away from yours, but not without tugging your lower lip gently between his teeth. He hummed once he let it go, and glanced at Patrick. “It won’t be all weird cause she’s knocked up, right?” he questioned. “Not all gross and stuff…?”

“Not at all. It’s tighter and wetter than ever,” Patrick grinned. 

“Sweet,” the younger boy grinned, moving down and starting to slide your panties down your thighs.

You just closed your eyes, starting to zone the whole thing out. Henry’s mouth was at your ear now, and he started nipping at the soft lobe, his tongue lapping at the rest of it. “We’re gonna give you the night of your life, baby girl,” he whispered, sounding drunk and cocky. He gave your breast a firm squeeze, then started smacking them lightly, chuckling as they bounced and the nipples perked up.

You whimpered nervously and his face fell slightly. “Hey!” Your eyes opened wide in fear as he suddenly grabbed your face. “The only noises I wanna hear from you are fucking moans and whines, begging us for more, got it? None’a that scared bullshit.”

You gulped but nodded, and he let go of your face so that he could smash his lips into yours messily. His kiss was a lot less skilled than Vic’s, and his breath…  _ god  _ it was horrendous. Like pure shit. You almost gagged, but he grabbed you by the throat and forced his tongue into your mouth when you gasped, making you shut your eyes tightly again.

“Good girl, Y/N. Take it,” Patrick praised you. But you couldn’t help but hear the order. The order to  _ take it _ . To let them force you to do what they wanted.

Granted, when Vic started going down on you, you realized that his mouth  _ was _ like magic. Every suck and lick was sending euphoric jolts through your body, and you soon found your hand in his hair, tugging and pressing his mouth against your pussy.

But all you could taste was Henry’s horrid mouth. All you could feel in your heart was embarrassment, and shame. You were being used by these boys, and your Patrick was encouraging it. He wanted this…

And you couldn’t understand why he would want this.


	10. Jealousy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: rape/non con, abuse

Belch sucked on his tenth cigarette, his head buzzed from the nicotine and his body warm from the whiskey he had been drinking when Patrick had broken the news…

You were  _ pregnant _ ? How could you possibly be  _ pregnant _ ? And now you were marrying Patrick?

It was all surreal, he was starting to become convinced that this was some horrible nightmare, that he would wake up soon to find you next to him, still in love with each other.

But he knew. He knew this was real, in the back of his mind. He had really lost you. And you had really fallen for Patrick…

He coughed into the freezing December air, and stood up from the step he had been sitting on, starting to go around the house back to the basement room that you and Patrick called home.

“ _ Fuck _ , Henry!”

Belch froze, hearing you cry out his friend’s name. Then he heard Henry growl and a smacking sound. He hurried forward, but froze again when he looked through the window.

Henry had you on your hands and knees as he fucked into you harshly, his hands gripping your hips and alternating to smack at your ass every so often.

Vic was laying in front of you, running his fingers through your hair as he kissed your lips deeply. Patrick was on the couch, smoking a joint and grinning wickedly in your direction.

“Come on, Crissy, she’s got that mouth for a reason,” Henry growled, grabbing ahold of your hair and pulling you back so that your head was up. Vic raised an eyebrow. “Get your dick out, boy, make her take it!”

Vic looked shocked, then grinned and stood up off of the bed, unbuckling his too-big camo pants and unzipping them as well. He hesitated when he saw your eyes and mouth closed tightly, and he glanced at Patrick.

“Slap her, make her open that mouth,” Patrick agreed.

Vic didn’t even hesitate, slapping your cheek harshly, making you gasp. He grabbed your chin to force your mouth open, and pulled his dick out, slapping it against your burning cheek.

You sobbed in your throat, then felt Henry yank on your hair. “I told you, none’a that shit!” he snapped, still fucking you forcefully. “You cry, I’m just gonna be pissed, and you don’t wanna piss me off, sweetheart, do ya?” You trembled but shook your head. “Good. Now keep that pretty little mouth open for Vicky, he’ll take good care’a you.”

“Yeah, Y/N, you ain’t gotta worry, I’m clean,” he sneered. Without another word, he forced himself into your mouth, his head falling back as he pushed as far as he could before your gag reflex pushed him back. His own mouth fell open and he groaned, pushing past it anyway and starting to fuck in and out of your mouth.

Belch watched it all in horror, not sure if he should step in, or if he should wait outside for his friends to be done with you. He moved towards the door, grabbing the handle when Patrick spoke up again.

“You like that, huh, baby mama? You like gettin’ two cocks at once?” he questioned, his voice filled with lust and pride. “You like tastin’ Vicky’s dick and takin’ Henry’s?”

You just moaned out, the only noise you could make around Vic’s erection in your mouth. Henry adjusted his position, then pulled out, rubbing at himself furiously. “Switch places, I wanna flip her and make her choke,” he demanded. Vic immediately pulled out of your mouth, and you gasped for air, only to have your body pushed and pulled to lay on your back with your head hanging over the bed. “Good, now fuck her, Vic.”

Henry moved to go towards your mouth, and you were already gagging from the smell of him. He grabbed your throat and shook you violently, making you gasp and try to sit up. “We gotta fuckin’ tie you down, girl? You better lay the fuck still and take this cock,” he ordered, shoving your head down onto the bed and stuffing his cock into your open mouth. It tasted and smelled like a mixture of your vagina, and shit. And his balls rubbing against your nose smelled even worse. But you had no choice but to breath when you could through your nose, as tears started falling down your forehead into your hair and onto the ground.

Vic got into position and slammed all the way into you, his own mouth falling open in bliss. “ _ Shit _ , Pats, this  _ pussy _ …” he moaned. “You’re so fuckin’ lucky, man…”

“You’re the lucky ones tonight, boys,” Patrick grinned, side glancing at Belch outside the door. “Fill that bitch up with cum…”

Both Henry and Vic were absolutely gone with pleasure, Henry moving his hands to your shoulders so that he could thrust his little dick against your gag reflex over and over again. Vic kept his hands on your hips, but was slamming into you with such force that it hurt.

Belch had no idea what to do… he wanted to burst in and help you… but how angry would that make Henry…? Maybe Henry would understand but… they were all pretty drunk, and he was afraid to make a scene…

So he backed away from the window, going back over to the front steps to smoke a few more cigarettes.

\---

“Fuck, Y/N, that was hot as  _ fuck _ ,” Vic growled, laying down on the bed next to you.

Henry was on the other side of you, having just cum down your throat, much to your displeasure, and was panting. “Yeah, baby, you ever want good cock again, you just let me know,” he grunted.

You were just laying on the bed, waiting for Patrick’s permission to get up off of it. He was finishing his second joint, and laughed when he realized you were staring at him. “Thank them, baby,” he chuckled. You shivered and closed your eyes.

“Thank you…”

You heard Patrick scoff. “Say it  _ to  _ them. Look at them and thank them,” he ordered.

You had this horrible feeling of nausea overtaking your body, but you pushed it down and turned your head, opening your eyes to look at Henry first. “Thank you, Henry,” you said softly. He licked his lips and grabbed your hair, making you wince. Henry yanked your hair once before letting it go.

“Now say it to Vic,” Patrick pressed. You gulped and turned your head to Vic, seeing him smiling sweetly at you. “Y/N…”

“Thank you, Victor,” you whispered. He nuzzled up close to you and grabbed onto your hip.

“Your welcome. Henry’s right, you ever wanna go like that again, you just come to me, you know I don’t bite,” he smirked.

You felt your heart hammering in your chest and you sat up, looking at Patrick. Vic looked a bit hurt, and looked at Patrick as well. Patrick raised an eyebrow and licked his lips. “Apologize to Victor then you can come to Daddy,” he demanded. You turned red and gulped, your lip trembling.

“I’m sorry, Vic,” you said. Then you quickly got up and went over to Patrick. You sat down on the couch next to him and buried your face in his chest as soon as you could hug him.

“What a fucking bitch,” Henry said angrily. You looked up at him in horror. “Gets the fuck of her life and acts all uptight afterwards.”

“Yeah, don’t you like us, Y/N?” Vic pouted.

Patrick chuckled. “She’s a Daddy’s girl…” he explained. “She only likes it from Daddy, isn’t that right?” You bashfully nodded, and Patrick stood up, much to your dismay.

“That why she’s got your name on her side?” Henry guessed. You quickly looked down and Patrick smirked. “She’s your little sex slave, ain’t she?”

“Come on, guys, you can take the couches upstairs,” Patrick said, ignoring his friend. He watched his two friends get dressed until you gently pulled on his shirt. He looked down at you and smiled sweetly. “Yes, precious?”

“I wanna cigarette…” you mumbled. He stared at you. “May I please have a cigarette?”

“Sure thing,” he agreed, pulling his pack out of his pocket and picking one out for you. He handed it over, and you stood up. “Where are you going?”

You hesitated. “Can I go outside? I need some air…” you pleaded. He sighed, but waved you away. You quickly grabbed a shirt of his out of the hamper near the door, and grabbed your panties to slip on. Then you hurried out into the freezing night just as you began to cry.

You couldn’t believe that Patrick had just let that happen. You couldn’t believe he would let them hurt you like that. He was always so jealous, he wouldn’t even let you  _ talk _ to Belch, and now he had forced you to have sex with his other two friends? It just didn’t make any sense…

You stopped short as you saw Belch sitting on the front steps smoking. You had completely forgotten he was here… you wondered if he had any idea. You stuck your cigarette in your mouth then sighed, walking over to him.

Belch looked up as you approached him and he perked up noticeably. “Y/N?” he greeted nervously. “Are you okay?” You almost answered, then brought your hand up to mimic a lighter. “Oh… y-you need a light?” You nodded, and he picked his lighter up off the step, holding it out to light your cigarette. Instead, you grabbed the lighter, and lit it yourself before handing it back to him. “Y/N, I’m worried about you…” You scoffed and sat on the bottom step, your back facing him as you started smoking. You heard him move to come down the steps and sit next to you, and you hesitated. “Why won’t you talk to me?”

“Jesus, I can’t,” you risked whispering. “Just leave me alone, okay? The boys are going to bed, you should join them…”

“You can’t talk to me? Why?” he wondered. You looked up at him sadly. “Patrick…? Patrick won’t let you talk to me?”

“Please, just, stop. Leave me alone,” you begged. He looked upset, and you quickly looked ahead. “I’m fine, Belch. I’m happy—”

“You don’t seem happy,” he pointed out. “I just want you to be happy,  _ really  _ happy…”

“I am… I’m in love, I’m getting married, I’m having a child with the man I love… I’m happy,” you insisted. He hesitated.

“I saw what they did to you… what he let them do to you,” he admitted. Now you hesitated. “He isn’t all that, Y/N, you just tell me, and I’ll let him have it. My fist’ll be the last thing he’ll ever see.”

You smiled sadly and looked away from him again. “Thanks, Reg…” you said. “But I’m fine—”

“Y/N, I know he did somethin’ to you,” he pressed. “I know he hurt you somehow, and I know you ain’t got no choice but to be with him.” You still didn’t look at him. “You don’t belong to him. He don’t own you—”

“I have his name…” you started, before your throat closed up. He frowned in confusion. “He cut his name into me… I  _ am _ his…”

“He cut…” he began, then trailed off. “Let me see.”

“No, it’s nothing, I shouldn’t even have told you,” you sighed, feeling your heart racing in your chest. You looked around for Patrick. “You should go—”

“Y/N, let me see what he did to you,” he demanded. You kept looking around, then you carefully lifted your shirt to show him the scar on your ribs. He gasped and you quickly dropped your shirt. “I’m getting the police. I’m not letting him do this to you—”

“Reg  _ please _ just drop it, I shouldn’t have shown you,” you begged. “I have no idea what he’ll do to— what he’ll do if he finds out…”

“He’s dead,” he insisted. Again, you smiled sadly. “I mean it, he literally scarred you with his name, he let Henry and Vic…” He trailed off, not wanting to think of his friends as rapists. “He let them touch you… you know I would never do nothin’ like that…”

“I know…” you agreed. You finished your cigarette and stood up. “Thank you for the lighter, Reggie…”

“Y/N. Come with me, we’ll go to the police and you tell them everything he did. I can protect you, I can keep you safe from him,” he tried desperately, standing up with you and grabbing your hand. Your eyes widened and you pulled your hand away.

“I’m fine. Just leave me alone,” you insisted, feeling the anger of his betrayal starting to creep back into you. “You  _ cheated _ on me, Belch, you don’t give a fuck about me!”

He looked taken aback. “Y/N, I do care about you—”

“Y/N.”

You quickly turned and hurried over to Patrick. “I-I’m sorry,” you tried quietly. “I tried to—” But he shoved you behind himself and glared at Belch.

“What’s it gonna take for you to leave my poor fiancée alone? She’s made it clear she wants to be left alone,” Patrick said calmly.

“You don’t get to treat her the way you treat her!” Belch defended you. “You don’t get to  _ own _ her!”

“What’s it to you? You’ve got Celine and plenty of other whores,” he pointed out. Belch turned red. “You lost her, bud, there ain’t no hard feelings. But you gotta leave her alone. She ain’t your business.”

Belch looked about ready to explode with anger. “You hurt her! You cut your name into her side, you think I’m just gonna let that slide?!” he snapped. Patrick glanced back at you, making you quickly look down. “She showed me, and I saw what you let Vic and Henry do you her, you don’t give a  _ damn  _ about her, the way I do.”

“Go home. I don’t feel safe with you in my house tonight,” Patrick explained coldly. “I don’t feel like I can trust you to be around my woman without me around.”

“That’s disgusting! She’s my best friend, we known each other our whole lives—” he tried.

“And you don’t get to know her no more,” Patrick snapped. “She ain’t yours, Belch, she’s  _ mine _ .”

Belch hesitated, looking back at you. You kept your head down, and he sighed heavily. “She ain’t happy! You can lie all you want, you can put on a happy face, Y/N, but I know you ain’t happy with him!” he tried. “You know what, I don’t feel comfortable leaving her alone with  _ you _ tonight.”

“Get the fuck out of here, Belch,” you spoke up quickly. He looked back at you again. “Please…”

He hesitated, but growled as he moved towards his car. Patrick grabbed your arm and dragged you quickly towards the house. You followed, hurrying after him and feeling sick to your stomach all over again.

As soon as the two of you were in his room, and he watched Belch drive away in his Trans-Am, he whipped around and glared at you. “You promised me you wouldn’t tell,” he reminded you angrily. “You lied you me.”

“But Henry and Vic saw… I-I don’t know what I was thinking, Patrick, I’m sorry—”

“You were thinking that that idiot gives two fucks about you. Y/N, he doesn’t. He doesn’t give a fuck about you, no one does but me,” he insisted. You felt tears well up in your eyes. “Once we’re married, I hope you see that.”

“Belch and V-Vic and Henry went looking for me—”

“They don’t give a damn about you either! They only looked because they felt bad for Belch, they only fucked you because you have a hot body, no one cares about you, Y/N. Except for me,” he pressed. “ _ I  _ care about you, I love you and take care of you, and the  _ one _ thing I ask of you, you broke that promise!”

“I’m so sorry,” was all you could say. He turned around and crossed his arms. “Patrick… Patrick, please I’m sorry…”

“I guess you weren’t ready to come home,” he said coldly. Your face paled and you stood up straight. He turned his head back to glare at you. “You can’t be trusted… how can I trust that you’re not going around telling everyone our secrets…?”

“I promise you,” you said, moving towards him. “Patrick, I wanted him to know that I’m yours, that he can’t have me, that’s the only reason I showed him my scar.”

“But you promised never to show anyone our secret,” he pointed out. You touched his back and he stood up straight, turning to look at you. “You lied to me, Y/N.”

“And I never will again, I’m sorry,” you pleaded. Patrick just glared down at you. “You can’t put me back in that room, you can’t—”

“You don’t even see how much I love you,” he accused. You gulped and shook your head. “You never really appreciated me, did you? You never wanted my love, Y/N, you just wanted to be let out. You weren’t  _ ready  _ to be free, you’ve been lying to me this whole time. And with the  _ baby  _ on the way?”

“No,  _ no, _ ” you promised him quickly. “I promise, I  _ love  _ you. I want nothing more than to raise the baby with you, and spend my life with you.”

Patrick stared at you, raising an eyebrow. “You won’t ever talk to him without me being there again?” he questioned seriously. You nodded. “One more slip up…. one more time talking to him without permission, and you’re back in your room. I need to know that I can trust you.”

“You can, Patrick, let me prove it,” you pleaded with him, sounding terrified. He suddenly brought his hand up and slapped you in the cheek. You flinched, but knew to hold in your tears.

“You better prove it to me… I’m giving you one more chance, because I love you, and I want to think I can trust you… but you haven’t given me much to go on…”

“I will, Patrick, I promise, he’ll never hear my voice again unless you want him to,” you begged. You knew you were on thin ice now, on Patrick’s bad side. You knew you needed to be careful what you said and did around him  _ and _ without him now. “I’ll never disobey you again.”

“Good,” he smiled. You immediately relaxed and moved forward to hug him.

“I’m so sorry,” you whimpered. “You know I’d never try to hurt you…”

“I know… you’re so stupid sometimes,” he pointed out. You hesitated, but nodded. “And honestly… you’re getting too big. You need to lose some weight, baby, Henry was right, you are getting fat.”

He hooked his pointer finger into your belly button and jiggled your belly. You quickly pulled back and frowned. He grinned. “Patrick—” you tried, hurt.

“You wanna be pretty for me, Y/N, don’t you? You gotta try a little, at least,” he insisted. You looked down at yourself, feeling defeated. “Now let’s go to bed, love.”

He turned you and moved you towards the bed. He pushed you down, just like Henry had earlier, and you caught yourself on your hands, feeling him pull down your panties and shove one of his fingers in. You cried out, feeling much too sore to have him do anything else tonight.

Patrick looked gleeful. He covered your mouth and started fingering you quickly, giggling in your ear. “Shut up and take it,” he ordered. You closed your eyes tightly, and tried not to start crying. “You only want it from me, don’t you? You didn’t want it from Henry, or Vic, or even Belch Huggins. You only ever want it from me.”

You felt him uncover your mouth and you hesitated before answering, “Yes…” very quietly. He shut the lamp off beside you, and you let him do whatever he wanted from that point forward.


End file.
